Why Getting Dumped Hurts | You Lost That Loving Feeling

Why Getting Dumped Hurts | You Lost That Loving Feeling

Sometime Being Dumped Is Unavoidable.

Why Getting Dumped Is Not a Healthy Thing.

How-to-select-a-compatible-mate

What is dumping? Why do people dump or breakup with other people? Is it because they don’t want to be with the people? Is it because they want to be with other people? Is the drive to dump an evolutionary adjustments? Did early man dump? By early man do we mean really hairy man?

How-to-select-a compatable-mate

Lonely Caveman

When talking about “early man,” I mean those big burly guys living in caves, carrying those ‘BIG’ clubs!’ 

Hairy like my great-uncle Seymour, or even hairier? These are not idle questions. Just because I am often ideal, it doesn’t mean you have to drag the question into it, call them idle, too.

 

 

 Unwanted Body Changes

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In today’s society, after a person gets dumped, the mind and body goes through massive changes. Changes beyond our control. You most likely may experience:

  • Anger (Because no one likes being dumped)
  • Confusion (It happened so fast, you think, “What the hell happened?)”
  • Depression (You sulk in the dim, quite corner of your apartment)
  • Hurtfulness (You feel the whole word has rejected you)
  • Loneliness ( You join others on a park bench feeding the pigeons)
  • Abdominal Pains (“You ain’t ate nothing in four days, what the hell did you expect??”)

When it all come down to research on this theory, this research still remains unfinished (I guess everything in life takes time). My empirical powers have begun to wane.

Herewith, I offer my writing towards a Unified Theory of Dumping with the hope that the next generation of researcher’s will not shirk from the task. Now that global climactic calamity is increasingly difficult to refute, it is imperative that the scientific community develop a workable theory of dumping, so we may better understand why our society sucked so bad before it was completely underwater.

I’d be lying if I didn’t also admit to a personal stake in this. Simply put, I’m not just an objective observer of dumping phenomena. I have long been a victim of our ignorance of their properties as well.

Indeed, had I been born to a future age that better understood dumping, I could have been spared a great deal of suffering. But such was not my fate!

Like other trailblazers before me, I have martyred myself to a dogged pursuit of the truth, risky penury, calumny, and many other things that end in y.

But until my dying breath I will endeavor to understand precisely which natural forces colluded to obstruct my happiness. I try my best that the pursuit of happiness and my having a better understanding of women, will always be at the top of my agenda.

ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS

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Here are some very important tips every woman should follow when they have doubts or suspicions about the new guy in their life. The guys actions speaks louder than words:

  • Cagey About Calls. If he’s only given you a cell or office number and never calls you from home, DUMP HIM – he’s married. This also applies to the guy who only texts or emails.

(he may write you long emails, but he’ll never call you because he doesn’t want his wife to hear your conversation).

  • Excessive Spontaneity. If he only calls you out of the blue and shows up at your doorstep expecting you to go somewhere with him right then and there, he is not spontaneous, he is acting like the boy next door, and will never grow up.

(you don’t have time for that kind of childishness. He’s definitely not good husband or father material).

  • Substance Abuse. Be very cautions if it occurs to you that he’s drinking an awful lot of wine with dinner after he’s  already had two scotches. Or if he opens a bottle of beer the second he gets home from work and goes through an entire six-pack before he goes to bed.
how-to-select-a-compatible-mate

Do You Really Want A Lush Like This??

Worst of all, be wary if he goes to the bathroom every hour and comes back to you rubbing his nose and sniffling, or with red eyes and a silly grin on his mug.

He definitely has issues you might not be equipped to deal with. It may make you feel noble to try to help an addict, but let me tell you something healthy cannot date unhealthy.

I don’t care how much you love him, you’ve got to let him solve his problems on his own. You simply cannot be with someone who does not love himself enough to heal himself.

  • Strained Family Relationships. Beware the man who hates his mother or sister(s). He’s not inclined to treat the women in his life well. And if he has issues with his dad, they’re definitely going to affect his fathering skills. Many females I know who don’t want children say it’s because their own fathers did such an awful job.

(If you don’t want children, that’s fine, but if you do, you could be heading down a one-way street to disappointment town).

  • Mommy Issues. There is such a thing as a guy being too close to his family, especially to his mother. If he talks to her several times a day on the phone, and even takes her calls during your date, it’s really a bad sign.

(you will never be good enough for her son, and he will value her opinion above all others, especially yours).

  • Uncontrollable Rage. Does he curse and yell in traffic? Does he use angry, foul language? Does he pound on tables and walls? Does he let other people annoy him to the extent that he gets in verbal or physical altercations?

(If so, he is not just an aggressive alpha male. He’s a jerk! Make him go away, but do it gently, in case his rage turns on you).

  • Dishonesty. This could well be the most common problem of all – pay attention to the little white lies you catch him in, because they usually add up to huge whoppers. He might stretch the truth a bit in order to impress you – claiming he’s done things he hasn’t, know’s people he doesn’t, etc;

You might be tempted to let him slide, but remember, it’s all about integrity. If he’s willing to sacrifice his integrity just to impress you, that tells you just how much honesty means to him.

A liar is a liar is a liar, no matter how big or small the tales they tell, to you or anyone else. You’ll never be able to trust him!

  • Egotism. This could be the second most common problem. Maybe his mother raised him to think he could do no wrong. Or perhaps he has bought into that societal crap that teaches, “Everyone’s a winner, no matter what they do!” Or it could mean that he’s just always out for himself.

Watch him closely; if he takes the best and last portions, walks in front of you, and is over -conscious of what people are saying or thinking about him, you will never be number one in his life. That space is reserved for him and him alone.

  • Vanity. These dudes spend so much time working out and grooming themselves that they’re far too aware of their own looks and image. It’s embarrassing to pass a mirror with them, because they stop and stare at themselves, transfixed.

(they’ll often put other people down, making catty comments about their looks in order to feel good about themselves. Who needs the competition? dump him before the third date).

  • Text & email Obsessed: Calling Makes The Man, Texting Makes The Boy, Email Makes The Phantom. If your main form of communication when you’re not together is texting, it’s a sign of immaturity, and he might not be ready for an adult relationship. Real men use their cell phones. You have to make improvements within yourself and monitor your actions.
how-to-select-a-compatible-mate

Hope You Can Impress This New Girl With Your Clever Text.

You may think texting is a quicker, more efficient way to communicate, but in reality, it takes less time to dial a number and say a few words than it does to type in a message, no matter how good you are with your thumbs.

The man who texts doesn’t want to actually speak to you – he’s like the kid who just wants to poke you to let you know he’s there.

By the same token, if he’s an excessive emailer, he’s more comfortable online than in person. He’s hiding! He’s a phantom.

Now I’m not saying that you should reject a guy at the slightest hint of any of the aforementioned Danger Signs. No one’s perfect, and as you were reading through the list, you probably found yourself contemplating, “I wonder if i do that?”

But I don’t think there’s a woman out there who hasn’t suffered a bad breakup and hasn’t said something like, “I should have seen it coming – all the signs were there.”

I’m just pointing out a few warning signs you may want to heed.

 

So what do you think? Did you enjoy this article? If so, please share it on your social media page.

 

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Author | Ronald Kennedy Comments | 10 Date | 02/27/2018

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comments

Dave

hi there,

I can not begin to understand relationships, an even worse i cannot understand my self or my partners because each time am in a relationship i want out, each time am alone i want someone else, i don’t know what it is but i think relationships are just not for me, please what do you think i should do.

02/28/2018 | 4:46 am
Reply

    Ronald Kennedy

    Hi Dave, thanks for checking in with me. It sounds like you’re a ‘Ball of Confusion.’ But don’t worry Dave, you’re not alone. Many other men, as well as women to, go through life not knowing what they want. I have a personal friend that’s in the same boat.

    Like you, he gets into spotty, never real serious relationships, then get tired of the woman. Then, when we’re hanging out, he complains to me how lonely he is. Sounds like you have low self-esteem, just like my buddy. You don’t have to give up on love, Dave. You just have to and must maintain, a positive attitude about yourself. 

    Right now Dave, you currently have no confidence. This is why you ‘bail out’ of relationships quickly because you fear getting dumped first, so you figure you’ll make the first move. This cycle will continually be repeated until your self esteem and confidence is boosted. I can help you. Here’s is what I recommend: here’s a fantastic ebook that provides great information that will help you and your situation. Very inexpensive and I strongly suggest you get a copy. Click Here! Good luck, just don’t give up.

    02/28/2018 | 1:48 pm
    Reply

Jackie

Good tips here on how to know if your guy is not the ‘one’. I was dumped by someone who I thought I loved a great deal over 20 years ago. At the time I suffered greatly and had a broken heart for months. Then life went on (as it does) and I met someone else. Years later I can look back and see that the universe had a much better plan for me and that it would have been a disaster had he not let me go. Thank you god!

03/02/2018 | 12:07 pm
Reply

    Ronald Kennedy

    Thank you Jackie for checking in. I always say there’s a certain feeling a person get within. A feeling you may never have felt from anyone else before. When you start feeling this is ‘the one,’ usually it is. But then again, all things are not what they appear to be!

    Some folks just deal on the premise of just being ‘in love.’ Regardless if any love is received in return, as long as they have someone, they’re happy. I understand what you went through twenty years ago, had to be rough. But I also say that when ‘one door closes in a relationship, God opens up another.’ Thanks Jackie for stopping by.

    03/06/2018 | 1:10 pm
    Reply

Tyler Redlev

I remembered the love of my life while reading this article. She dumped me a couple of years ago and I can’t still forget about her. The feelings that I felt after being dumped are just as you described. I was ruined and felt like a trainwreck.

It’s really not healthy for anyone. I don’t know how to cope with it but it definetely will effect your health in a really bad way, especially if you start drinking or doing drugs.

03/07/2018 | 2:45 am
Reply

    Ronald Kennedy

    Hi Tyler thanks for checking in. Hope all is well. I also know the feeling. It was a many years ago, back when I was a very young buck (and a cool one at that)! I was in love with a girl named Marsha. This chick broke my heart when she dumped me. I walked around in a daze; angry and confused. Tyler, ain’t it something how these women can make us feel like crap? Don’t know if we’re coming or going?

    In regards to health, you’re right. Seems like we start getting sick for no reason! Yeah, you’re right that sometime drugs and alcohol later do play a big part in some guys lives. But we must stay strong and try to keep it together for a better relationship down the road.

    03/10/2018 | 4:14 am
    Reply

Claudia H. Blanton

as someone who has fallen at one point for the abusive dude, I have to say your tips are spot on. I only wish, that this list on what to watch out for, would be handed to every girl before she gets into the dating game for the first time in her life.
That would save all of us a lot of trouble.

I almost screamed yes at the screen, when I saw your point about drinking, and then again at Mommy issues – so very true.

Surely valuable info.

Blessings!

03/10/2018 | 5:25 pm
Reply

    Ronald Kennedy

    Hi Claudia, how are you? Thanks for dropping by. I know it’s hard enough for you ladies finding that ‘knight in shiny armor’, but when you think you’ve found that person and they end up being abusive, that’s where some serious changes must take place. NO woman should ever be a victim of some abusive turkey! 

    I think of my site as providing guidance to those who can use some direction, when it comes down to relationships. A lot of folks seek love in all the wrong places, which in turn; eventually ends up with them being dumped.

    Please share this article on your social media network. Like you stated, maybe this information will help others just getting ‘their feet wet.’

    03/10/2018 | 6:56 pm
    Reply

Christina Bohannon

I have been both the dumper and the dumpee before. Being dumped sucks, and sometimes dumping someone can suck just as bad. I have had personal experience with several of the ‘actions speak louder than words’ part you mentioned. Mainly the lying part. I put up with it for a while and tried to ignore it and move on, but eventually I couldn’t anymore because the lies just kept getting bigger and bigger as well as more frequent so I left him.

05/08/2018 | 10:19 am
Reply

    Ronald Kennedy

    Glad to hear from you again Christina. Boy! It sure do hurts getting dumped! I remember being young and in love in high school. My favorite girl dumped me. And to make matters worse, it was for some bumpy-faced ugly dude! My self esteem just went down the toilet!! But, at any rate, all you can do is move on. As I mentioned earlier, too many lies always comes back to bite you on the ass. My recommendation: just be honest with each other.

    05/09/2018 | 2:37 pm
    Reply

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