Published Date: July 19, 2021
Updated On Aug 6, 2022
Both men & women agree that the worst place to go on a first date is to a movie and the best place is dinner.
In This Article
Where To Go:
Things Not To Do:
First Impressions Set The Tone For Future Dates.
The first date is very crucial in establishing a sense of compatibility and chemistry with the person you are dating. Where to go on a first date and would tell a lot about your character, your taste in certain establishments and eateries.
Taking your date to Denny’s or McDonalds on the first date is not going to cut it. Right away you going to be labeled ‘cheap as hell.’ (Not to mention this may be your last date). Below, we list what you shouldn’t do in regards to dating.
What you must understand is that the sole purpose of the date is to get to know your date and, basically, to decide if you want a second date.
Therefore, it is important to pick a setting that allows you to get to know your date, then there really isn’t any point to going out with that person in the first place.
Keep in mind that getting to know someone can be a very stressful experience.
So, be prepared to pick something that is fun to do, and that will ease some of that tension while at the same time give both of you ample opportunities to get to know each other.
Great First Date Ideas
These are your generic, everybody-has-done-this-before type of dates. But they do accomplish the purpose, which is getting to know your date. Remember, what is not typical is the person that you are with. If you remember that, everything old is new again!
Great To Do:
1. Dinner. Pick a middle-of-the-road romantic restaurant. Avoid singles-type places, which are better known for the bar scene than the food. Also, the all-you-can-eat family style buffets with kids screaming in the background are not conductive to romance.
Try to pick a place that has a variety of foods. Unless you know your date is into sushi, don’t assume her appetite is as exotic as yours. ‘Hooters’ is also generally not a good idea.
2. Lunch or Sunday brunch. It’s more casual, plus you’ve had some time to relax from the stresses of work and an extra day to get ready.
3. Coffee and Delicious desserts. You can also find these coffee shops on those ‘off the main roads’ type areas when traveling together. Not only do they have coffee and delicious desserts, but most of them loan out board games or they have poetry readings and other light entertainment.
4. Dancing. Pick a place that has the wild, dance floor (There’s one in every town or city), as well as a quiet place to have a drink and get to know one another.
5. Comedy club or a magic show. (These two are my personal favorite places). Your date will love this!
Laughing helps you both to relax. Just don’t sit in the front, unless you are in the mood for verbal abuse. If you are planning a comedy club, plan on coffee before or after so you do have a chance ‘to interact with your date.’
6. Football, basketball or baseball game. Seems most people like sports. Sporting events are good because there’s plenty of time to talk and if you run out of subjects, you can always talk about the team.
7. Invite your date over and cook dinner. This only works to impress your date if you can really cook. Don’t invite someone over for a ‘home-cooked’ meal, then order take out and bury the boxes in the garbage.
Here’s a scenario regarding #7, based on togetherness: “Danielle decides that for her first date with Jimmy, she was going to impress him by cooking him dinner. She remembered that on the phone he had mentioned his love for his mother’s meatloaf, so she knew what to put on the menu.
He liked the fact that she was willing to make an effort for him, especially since his last girlfriend didn’t know how to boil water. He asked what he could do to contribute to the date and she asked if he would mind paying for the groceries. Since she was doing the cooking, he was happy to pay for them.
Instead of giving him a list, or the bill, she suggested they go to the store together and then they could cook together. Jimmy enjoyed the intimacy of cooking together and it gave them something to do to fill up those awkward pauses that often happen on first dates. He found himself having a lot of fun and told Danielle that her meatloaf was almost as good as his mom’s.”
8. Meet for a cocktail. It’s cheaper than dinner, and if things go well, you can continue the date over dinner.
9. Go to a concert. This is a good first date, but keep in mind that it will be more difficult to talk during a loud concert than it would be over dinner.
10. Museums/Art Gallery’s/Zoos/Aquariums. Places like this makes it easier to have conversation topics up front. Just make sure you fit your own conversation into the date, too.
Actions NOT To Take:
1. Don’t go to the movies. It’s understandable that you want to get out after sitting in all of 2020 during the pandemic. Hell, you’re willing to go anywhere just to get out. But the selection process stinks! If you really think about it, there is no time to get to know your date. You’re basically spending two hours sitting in the dark with a stranger. This can be really awkward and uncomfortable. Remember, you want the romance to start off on the right foot!
2. Don’t suggest a weekend getaway. This might be great for a third or maybe even a second date, but on a first date it’s just too personal and assumes too much of someone that you hardly know.
3. Don’t ask your date to go with you to your family reunion, or sister’s wedding. These events are full of curious people that might ask your date many questions or reveal embarrassing personal details about you.
4. Don’t attend anything that has political or religious connotations. These two subjects are highly personal and can spark heated arguments even before the date is underway.
5. Don’t take your date to the hospital to visit sick relatives or friends. The smell of hospital food and the sight of blood doesn’t create a very seductive atmosphere.
6. Don’t go to your child’s school play or dance recital. Your attention will be more focused on the child, rather than on getting to know each other.
7. Don’t go to the gym, unless you are planning to do something afterwards. Everybody wants to put their best foot forward and that’s not usually a sweaty one.
8. Don’t take your date to fast food restaurants. (While we are on the subject, pay with those two-for-one coupons. They are a major turnoff). No matter what you think, they make you look cheap.
9. Don’t go to the mall. Shopping is very personal, and nobody should be made to feel that they are obligated to buy you something.
10. Do not run errands, such as going to the cleaners, grocery shopping, dropping off the videos, or any chore that you should do on your own time. Don’t make your date feel that you have better things to do than spend time with them.
Case in point: Take the case of one of our clients named Sarah. “She made plans for a date with Steven. He picked her up and asked if she would mind making a few quick stops on the way to dinner. She wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but she agreed because this was a first date and she didn’t want to make waves.
First he stopped at the ATM to get some money for dinner, since he said that he only had one dollar on him. Then he stopped at the grocery store to buy cat food. Then he dropped off a video that was three days overdue. (During all this, her frustration was building.
Next, he told her that he was going to stop and get gas, and maybe get his car washed if she didn’t mind waiting. By this time, Sarah was PISSED!
When he was done at the gas station, she asked if he would mind stopping by her place. He said, “Sure! No problem.” He got to her place, assuming that she had forgotten something at the house.
But when she got out of the car, she told him she had had enough of him and the date was over. He went home alone, to spend another lonely Saturday night with his cat, totally clueless as to why he was alone again.
Small Talk For The Car Ride
While driving, here are some ideas for light small talk that will help ‘break the ice.’ Best thing to remember is just relax, be yourself and let the conversation flow. In case you still need a little help, we’ve provided some good starting points for you to use:
- Talk about the place that you are going to or that you’re at already.
- Talk about how you met. Talk about how you felt when you first saw that person.
- Talk about the food you are planning to eat. (“I love Japanese food. I even went to Japan once”)
- Talk about the weather, sports, your pets, or books you’ve read.
- Talk about movies or favorite TV shows (“Hey, did watch ‘Just Shoot Me’ last night?”)
- Talk about his car, your car, or your dream car.
- Talk about travels that you have taken or plan to take.
- Talk about simple things that happened in your day. Keep it light, and don’t complain about how much you hate your job, boss, or life in general.
- Talk about your plans for the rest of the week or weekend. Again, keep it light. Don’t mention to your date you’re going to Great Aunt Bertha’s funeral on Sunday.
- Talk about music. This can include concerts you want to go to hear or groups you listen to. You can talk about books in much the same way.
A Typical First Date
“Lisa was sick of dinner-and-a-movie dates. She felt that most men she had been dating lacked creativity. Lisa then thought about one special ex of hers. She read an article; “how to get your ex back using 7 guaranteed steps.”
It was a fantastic read! She had just about given up hope of the perfect date and her ex, when she met Sam. She figured since they had been sending each other emails for a week, and they had subtly been asking questions, my this is the one. He asked everything from her favorite kind of fruit to what kind of underwear she preferred. His goal was to get to know so much about her that he could plan a night that she would always remember.
When he picked her up, They took a long drive. Nothing special, just enjoying the scenery.
Their first stop was the country museum. She had written that she liked jazz and he knew that there were outdoor jazz concerts there every weekend, during the summer months.
They sipped wine and enjoyed each other’s company, as well as the music.
Following the concert, he drove her to the beach and unpacked a cooler filled with more wine, as well as some salads, fresh fruit, bread, and dessert. He had even packed a blanket for them to sit on, a sweater in case she got cold, and some candles.
They picnicked by a stream and at the end of the evening, he gave her another candle, one that floated in water. He said that in some cultures it was a tradition to make a wish, light the candle, and let it float away.
Lisa lit her candle and wished that all her dates could be as perfect as this one. All the sexual desires were there!
You don’t have to be a ‘rocket scientist’ to put together a great date night. Knowing how to plan a nice and pleasant ‘first time’ date is simple. Follow my instructions above and just ‘be yourself.’ Many couples start the evening off trying to be something they’re not. Bad move! Relax and take your time! Main thing is to be yourself, follow all that I post here and have a good time.
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