Published Date: July 29, 2021
Be Careful Of What You Say, Where You Go, What You Do
Well, you finally get up the nerve to ask the receptionist out. You just can’t hold back your romantic animalistic tendencies. That savage beast in you is rearing its romantic head. You worry about what not to do on a first date. The things that would piss her off and perhaps cut the evening short. The last thing you wanted to do on a Saturday night, was to end up back at home in front of the TV because you screwed up!
You’ve been looking forward to this night all week, but your ‘cheapness’ may catch up with you. (You’ve been known among your peers as “Mr. Cheapo!”) You had the upcoming weekend all planned out.
Although these things listed here may be things that you enjoy doing, they may not be the best things to do when trying to get to know another person.
Better to save these things for after you got to know each other.
Getting to know each other is the ‘key element’ in dating!
So if you don’t want a ‘short-lived date,’ here’s 10 things you must follow:
- Don’t go to the movies. It’s understandable that you want to get out after sitting in all of 2020 during the pandemic. Hell, you’re willing to go anywhere just to get out. But the selection process stinks! If you really think about it, there is no time to get to know your date. You’re basically spending two hours sitting in the dark with a stranger. This can be really awkward and uncomfortable. Remember, you want the romance to start off on the right foot!
- Don’t suggest a weekend getaway. This might be great for a third or maybe even a second date, but on a first date it’s just too personal and assumes too much of someone that you hardly know.
- Don’t ask your date to go with you to your family reunion, or sister’s wedding. These events are full of curious people that might ask your date many questions or reveal embarrassing personal details about you.
- Don’t attend anything that has political or religious connotations. These two subjects are highly personal and can spark heated arguments even before the date is underway.
- Don’t take your date to the hospital to visit sick relatives or friends. The smell of hospital food and the sight of blood doesn’t create a very seductive atmosphere.
- Don’t go to your child’s school play or dance recital. Your attention will be more focused on the child, rather than on getting to know each other.
- Don’t go to the gym, unless you are planning to do something afterwards. Everybody wants to put their best foot forward and that’s not usually a sweaty one.
- Don’t take your date to fast food restaurants. (While we are on the subject, pay with those two-for-one coupons. They are a major turnoff). No matter what you think, they make you look cheap.
- Don’t go to the mall. Shopping is very personal, and nobody should be made to feel that they are obligated to buy you something.
Currently, change within yourself could be refreshing, spicy! Try something new & different. Learn! Experience new things when the opportunity arises!
One of our clients named Peter, age 33 said, “The one place I refuse to go on a first date is the mall. I don’t enjoy shopping as it is, and it makes me feel like I have to buy her something even if I don’t want to.”
10. Do not run errands, such as going to the cleaners, grocery shopping, dropping off the videos, or any chore that you should do on your own time. Don’t make your date feel that you have better things to do than spend time with them.
Case in point: Take the case of one of our clients named Sarah. “She made plans for a date with Steven. He picked her up and asked if she would mind making a few quick stops on the way to dinner. She wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but she agreed because this was a first date and she didn’t want to make waves.
First he stopped at the ATM to get some money for dinner, since he said that he only had one dollar on him. Then he stopped at the grocery store to buy cat food. Then he dropped off a video that was three days overdue. (During all this, her frustration was building.
Next, he told her that he was going to stop and get gas, and maybe get his car washed if she didn’t mind waiting. By this time, Sarah was PISSED!
When he was done at the gas station, she asked if he would mind stopping by her place. He said, “Sure! No problem.” He got to her place, assuming that she had forgotten something at the house.
But when she got out of the car, she told him she had had enough of him and the date was over. He went home alone, to spend another lonely Saturday night with his cat, totally clueless as to why he was alone again.
Small Talk For The Car Ride
Here are some ideas for light small talk that will help get things started and break the ice on the way to doing whatever it is that you’re planning to do or places to go on your first date.
- Talk about the place that you are going to or that you’re at already.
- Talk about how you met. Talk about how you felt when you first saw that person.
- Talk about the food you are planning to eat. (“I love Japanese food. I even went to Japan once”)
- Talk about the weather, sports, your pets, or books you’ve read.
- Talk about movies or favorite TV shows (“Hey, did watch ‘Just Shoot Me’ last night?”)
- Talk about his car, your car, or your dream car.
- Talk about travels that you have taken or plan to take.
- Talk about simple things that happened in your day. Keep it light, and don’t complain about how much you hate your job, boss, or life in general.
- Talk about your plans for the rest of the week or weekend. Again, keep it light. Don’t mention to your date you’re going to Great Aunt Bertha’s funeral on Sunday.
- Talk about music. This can include concerts you want to go to hear or groups you listen to. You can talk about books in much the same way.
More Conversation Suggestions
- Don’t tell too many jokes. Your date might think you can’t be serious.
- Do flirt a little bit. Continue to compliment the other person and keep the sexual tension going. Keep that eye contact going, and a little subtle touching never hurts either.
- Don’t ask how they think the date is going, and never ask what they’re thinking.
- Don’t ask if you’re going to have a second date before the appetizers.
- Do remember, have fun on the date! If nothing else, It’s a good story to tell later.
Keep in mind the purpose of a date. A date is a time to get to know another person. Being courteous, considerate, and sensible, even before the date begins, sets the tone for the evening.