What Not To Do On A First Date | 10 Things You Want To Follow


Ronald Kennedy

Published Date: July 29, 2021

Be Careful Of What You Say, Where You Go, What You Do

Well, you finally get up the nerve to ask the receptionist out. You just can’t hold back your romantic animalistic tendencies. That savage beast in you is rearing its romantic head. You worry about what not to do on a first date. The things that would piss her off and perhaps cut the evening short. The last thing you wanted to do on a Saturday night, was to end up back at home in front of the TV because you screwed up!

You’ve been looking forward to this night all week, but your ‘cheapness’ may catch up with you. (You’ve been known among your peers as “Mr. Cheapo!”) You had the upcoming weekend all planned out.


Although these things listed here may be things that you enjoy doing, they may not be the best things to do when trying to get to know another person.

Better to save these things for after you got to know each other.

Getting to know each other is the ‘key element’ in dating!
So if you don’t want a ‘short-lived date,’ here’s 10 things you must follow:

    1. Don’t go to the movies. It’s understandable that you want to get out after sitting in all of 2020 during the pandemic. Hell, you’re willing to go anywhere just to get out. But the selection process stinks! If you really think about it, there is no time to get to know your date. You’re basically spending two hours sitting in the dark with a stranger. This can be really awkward and uncomfortable. Remember, you want the romance to start off on the right foot!
    2. Don’t suggest a weekend getaway. This might be great for a third or maybe even a second date, but on a first date it’s just too personal and assumes too much of someone that you hardly know.
    3. Don’t ask your date to go with you to your family reunion, or sister’s wedding. These events are full of curious people that might ask your date many questions or reveal embarrassing personal details about you.
    4. Don’t attend anything that has political or religious connotations. These two subjects are highly personal and can spark heated arguments even before the date is underway.
    5. Don’t take your date to the hospital to visit sick relatives or friends. The smell of hospital food and the sight of blood doesn’t create a very seductive atmosphere.
    6. Don’t go to your child’s school play or dance recital. Your attention will be more focused on the child, rather than on getting to know each other.
    7. Don’t go to the gym, unless you are planning to do something afterwards. Everybody wants to put their best foot forward and that’s not usually a sweaty one.
    8. Don’t take your date to fast food restaurants. (While we are on the subject, pay with those two-for-one coupons. They are a major turnoff). No matter what you think, they make you look cheap.
    9. Don’t go to the mall. Shopping is very personal, and nobody should be made to feel that they are obligated to buy you something.

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One of our clients named Peter, age 33 said, “The one place I refuse to go on a first date is the mall. I don’t enjoy shopping as it is, and it makes me feel like I have to buy her something even if I don’t want to.”

10. Do not run errands, such as going to the cleaners, grocery shopping, dropping off the videos, or any chore that you should do on your own time. Don’t make your date feel that you have better things to do than spend time with them.

Case in point: Take the case of one of our clients named Sarah. “She made plans for a date with Steven. He picked her up and asked if she would mind making a few quick stops on the way to dinner. She wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but she agreed because this was a first date and she didn’t want to make waves.

First he stopped at the ATM to get some money for dinner, since he said that he only had one dollar on him. Then he stopped at the grocery store to buy cat food. Then he dropped off a video that was three days overdue. (During all this, her frustration was building.

Next, he told her that he was going to stop and get gas, and maybe get his car washed if she didn’t mind waiting. By this time, Sarah was PISSED!

When he was done at the gas station, she asked if he would mind stopping by her place. He said, “Sure! No problem.” He got to her place, assuming that she had forgotten something at the house.

But when she got out of the car, she told him she had had enough of him and the date was over. He went home alone, to spend another lonely Saturday night with his cat, totally clueless as to why he was alone again.

Small Talk For The Car Ride

Here are some ideas for light small talk that will help get things started and break the ice on the way to doing whatever it is that you’re planning to do or places to go on your first date.


  1. Talk about the place that you are going to or that you’re at already.
  2. Talk about how you met. Talk about how you felt when you first saw that person.
  3. Talk about the food you are planning to eat. (“I love Japanese food. I even went to Japan once”)
  4. Talk about the weather, sports, your pets, or books you’ve read.
  5. Talk about movies or favorite TV shows (“Hey, did watch ‘Just Shoot Me’ last night?”)
  6. Talk about his car, your car, or your dream car.
  7. Talk about travels that you have taken or plan to take.
  8. Talk about simple things that happened in your day. Keep it light, and don’t complain about how much you hate your job, boss, or life in general.
  9. Talk about your plans for the rest of the week or weekend. Again, keep it light. Don’t mention to your date you’re going to Great Aunt Bertha’s funeral on Sunday.
  10. Talk about music. This can include concerts you want to go to hear or groups you listen to. You can talk about books in much the same way.

More Conversation Suggestions

  • Don’t tell too many jokes. Your date might think you can’t be serious.
  • Do flirt a little bit. Continue to compliment the other person and keep the sexual tension going. Keep that eye contact going, and a little subtle touching never hurts either.
  • Don’t ask how they think the date is going, and never ask what they’re thinking.
  • Don’t ask if you’re going to have a second date before the appetizers.
  • Do remember, have fun on the date! If nothing else, It’s a good story to tell later.

In Conclusion

Keep in mind the purpose of a date. A date is a time to get to know another person. Being courteous, considerate, and sensible, even before the date begins, sets the tone for the evening.

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  1. LineCowley says:

    I love your conclusion that the purpose of a date is to get to know one another, and yes, very important to keep it light and have fun. You have mentioned so many important factors for a first date. And many are applicable for subsequent dates as well. I see it so often that people are in a restaurant and spend more time looking at their smart phones than talk to one another. Thanks for a great post.

    1. Ronald Kennedy says:

      Thank you my friend for commenting. When it comes to dating, some folks just can’t seem to get it together. Their minds are all over the place. But maybe in the end, it’ll all come together.

  2. Ashley says:

    Great article with some great tips.  Jeez, would someone really think about taking their date to a hospital on their first meeting?  That would seriously give me the heeby jeebies.  It’s like, here we are at the hospital, the smell of death all around us.. ..yeah, that would for sure be the death of ANY sexual chemistry you may have had with that person.  

    I mean I am all for kinks, but that just takes it one step too far!  Can you imagine that happening nowadays? 

    It’s like, thanks for the date! Oh and thanks for the Covid infection I am now dealing with because you decided we should eat our ‘romantic’ dinner in the hospital cafeteria.  Even the most gourmet, highly sought-after rice pudding on the planet, would not justify that scenario. 

    Anyway, that is just my opinion. Thank you for saving us from potential dates making moronic decisions.  I wouldn’t wish some of those dates on my worst enemy so I will share this post to do my part. 

    1. Ronald Kennedy says:

      Yes Ashley, you don’t want to ‘freak out’ going to these weird and strange places on your first date is a big time ‘turn-off’. (Hell! We gotta draw the line somewhere.’) I like this part of your comment. …”Even the most gourmet, highly sought-after rice pudding on the planet, would not justify that scenario.” lol.

  3. Mimie says:

    I can relate to what Sarah was feeling. If you do what that guy did you will seem unorganized and its a turn off I rell you. You got me laughing because most people always think of going to the movies on their first date and they think inviting their date to a family reunion shows how serious they are, but some other family members have got unsettling characters that can make someone never want to see them again. Your family’s drama should be reserved for when you finaly have a connection and when you finaly understand each other’s background

    1. Ronald Kennedy says:

      Yes, Mimie. A person should really get to know their prospective mate before getting too comfortable with them too soon. You don’t even know if that person is going to be around for the long haul. So take ‘baby steps’ to start.

  4. Rose says:

    You have such a nice site and choice of topic!

    How I wish that there are already site like this and we are as open as now to this information during my younger times.

    I was so naive and was so shy to open discussion about courtship or getting to know the opposite sex.

    I appreciate the openness now and the greater chance to know your would be partner in life. 


    1. Ronald Kennedy says:

      Thank you Rose for checking in with me. Things do change over the years, in regards to mating & courtship. Now-a-day, couples are more open and do more wild stuff. The changing of the times!

  5. Alketa says:

    Hi Ronald, it is very helpful to get the right advice for our daily lifestyle improvements. I think your tips and suggestions on how to comport and what to do or not on our first date is extremely important and helpful for everyone who whats to know the other person better. I agree when you say that it is better to talk about our simple thing, talk about our lives and what we do daily, knowing each other better. My husband and I had our official date in the spring. It was a sunny Saturday, and he invites me to go for lunch at the beach and enjoy our favourite seafood and fish recipes. I think that everyone must keep in mind your advice to succeed on the first date. 

    Thank you for sharing


    1. Ronald Kennedy says:

      Than you Alketa for commenting. Happy to hear that you and hubby had a nice outing. Sounds romantic! It’s the simple things in life, being with the one you love that makes life grand! Please share my post.

  6. MIchel says:

    Even though I have been out of the dating scene for years, reading this article was very entertaining and brought back loads of memories, mostly awkward ones.

    I remember going on a lot of first dates to the movies, and never thought anything of it, but yes you are quite right, you can’t get to know your date this way.

    1. Ronald Kennedy says:

      Yes there are the ‘good’ places and the ‘bad’ places to go to. You always want to leave a ‘long-lasting, loving impression after that first date! 

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