Here’s another good one; career woman Vera; better known as ‘Veterinarian Vera.’ She’s a 29 year old female with a veterinarian’s license who many folks think she paid for by sleeping with the Chairman of the Veterinarian’s Board of Directors.
She also claim to love all kinds of animals, but many of her clients swear they’d never take their pet back to her again. If Vera treats her men like she do her animals, then they’re all in BIG TROUBLE!
VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 26 to 47 Height: 5’1″ to 5’6″ Weight: Dogmatic
OCCUPATION – When she’s not treating her client’s animals or some homeless mutt, she’ll volunteer to work the front office part-time just to see what records she could falsify, steal or destroy. (something smell a little doggish:..er, I mean, ‘fishy’.)
FAVORITE FOODS – If this is the type of girl you’re seeking, then prepare to chow down on some fried rabbit patties smothered in raccoon sauce.
She’ll also offer you a side dish of bullhead onion soup with oyster crackers.
Dessert will be a slice of warmed over baboon pie topped with Cool Whip.
FAVORITE DRINKS – If you pop over some evening unexpected, you might find her sitting on the sofa sipping Bullfrog beer and doing shots of Southern Comfort, one after another.
This sudden drinking urge normally takes place after work and comes in spurts. After hours of this madness, she becomes delirious and starts babbling about being overworked, under paid and not getting a discount on those cheap breast implants she had done.
FAVORITE MUSIC – Guys, if she’s for you, then you better get use to her type of music. If you two are cruising down the highway in her little car, she’ll pop in a cd recording of her teaching her dogs new tricks, like howling together in harmony.
She’ll also serenade you with her singing voice (again, MORE howling!)
FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – She enjoys old ‘Lassie’ videos and any ‘Animal Planet’ episodes. But her all-time favorite is ‘Lady and the Tramp’ (it moves her to tears.)
FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – All dog competition events are high on the list. During her leisure time, you will join her in a hike, across the widest & largest field in the country just to pet a lonely cow.
Next stop, the zoo. She would pick the hottest day to walk, laugh and pet, while you sit, cuss and sweat!
TYPE OF CAR – You’ll join her on long drives in her old 73′ Volkswagen Beetle. (be expecting to push when it breaks down on the road.)
Very soon, and of course with your financial help, she’ll be able to purchase the car of her dreams,,,a 1984 pink Mustang!
LAST BOOK – “Why Most Dogs Look Like Their Owner” by an author who’s unknown and too embarrassed to show his face.
TURN-ON’S – Men who allow her to make house calls, men that know how to keep their pets under control and men that like to spank her once or twice.
TURN-OFF’S – Rival competition threatening to move their business on her block, customers who are always late paying their bills and people that park in her private spot (you may get your tires slashed!)
SECRET FANTASY – To be able to organize a world-class veterinarian convention in Death Valley, AZ at $800.00 a head.
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Sagittarius
PERSONALITY – Truly a state-of-the-art type of girl, she is true to her craft and takes her business seriously.
She has the ability and know-how when it comes to pinning down the tiniest detailed problem in your animal. Regardless of the situation with your pet, she’s usually ‘Johnny On The Spot’.
She’s the type who would shed a tear at sight of a little kid pulling a dog’s tail…and cheer if the dog suddenly turned around and bit him.
IDEAL MAN – She adores the company of a tall, slim and hairy man with a BIG Dog. (I’m talking about the four legged kind, so get your mind outta the gutter!) They also should be quiet, obedient and when she shakes her booty in their face, then they should sit up & beg!
WHERE TO MEET – You may meet a chick like this in the pet supply department at the local discount store, a dog grooming show and at the bookstore.
GOAL – To have the first 24 hour drive thru, drop-off service for your mutt’s convenience.
RATING – 7.9…..If you settle down with this type, you will have a pretty decent start in life. A simple house with a white picket fence, a used van, dogie poop on the carpet, and every breed of animal that you can think of running around, tearing up the place. Good luck!
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