In this ebook, Ron takes a light-hearted and humorous approach on depicting dating and relationships. Here you’ll get insights on what to expect in terms of a person’s occupation, goals, secret fantasy, favorite foods, type of car, etc;
As a single person, you’ll be able to prepare yourself and use counter – strategies when things just don’t work out (and considering these wacky character’s personalities, they probably wont).
You as a single person can venture out anywhere around the city with full confidence, avoiding any pit-falls you may encounter along the way (and you better believe, they’ll be plenty).
You’ll now be able to develop counter-strategies now with ease. Think of yourself as ‘someone unique.’ You need to know everything you can about ‘your game.’
All types of pitfalls, along with uncertainties, are sure to come. But you’ll be ready! Remember intimacy, romance, and relationships play a huge role in our society today in regards to finding the proper compatible mate. Make your best shot count. Bag the best one you can.
August 15, 2005
“In How to Select a Compatible Mate, author Ronald Kennedy takes a humorous stand, depicting various types of males and females the hapless single person is apt to meet, while searching for that “special someone.” The book is sure to keep you chuckling.”
Jeannine D. Van Eperen, Blether Reviewer author of Hearts in 3/4 Time, Love and All That Jazz, Trail to Bliss.
Title: How to Select a Compatible Mate
Author: Ronald Johnson Kennedy
The struggle to find a lifelong mate is enough to make any single admit defeat. The torment of unending blind dates, desperate set-ups, and awkward encounters at bars makes the search for that someone special about as fun as root canal. Survival can often ride on maintaining your sense of humor.
From this need for a good laugh comes “How to Select a Compatible Mate”, Ronald Johnson Kennedy’s first book.
Appropriately labeled as a ‘Single’s Quick Reference Guide,’ the book describes typical character types to be found on the dating scene, defined using consistent headings, like ‘occupation’, ‘secret fantasy’, and ‘turn-ons’, cumulating in a rating of the potential success of a longer-term relationship with such a partner.
From ‘Mama’s Boy’ to ‘Dirty Old Doris’, Kennedy creates funny and familiar characters, sometimes followed by a cartoon drawing of the dating prospect.
This a quick and a fun book to read, whether the reader is single or married. Kennedy has a unique sense of humor that can be easily appreciated and enjoyed.
He avoids the pitfall of making a satire on this subject too graphic or offensive, without losing the slightly edgy sense of humor of the modern single.
Anyone who has spent anytime dating will find a familiar personality here, and certainly laughing at the bad memories will go a long way towards recovering from them!
Ronald Johnson Kennedy attended the Art Institute of Chicago, the city in which he grew up. Originally starting a career in the Mortuary Sciences, refocusing his efforts on this book allowed him to express two of his passions: comedy writing and cartooning.
Overall, this is a good read, and would make a very appropriate gift for a tired and desperately lonely single friend.
Reviewer: Nancy Morris, Allbooks Reviews
I put this character’s profile at the top of my comedy ‘hit’ list. I gave myself a good laugh while creating this one. Although, all my characters profile’s give me a good feeling, this one represents many whiners living in our society today.
The men out there who’s still attached to moms apron strings. For some reason or another, they just can’t seem let go!
Ladies, when seeking a dating partner, here’s an example of what you could possibly wind up with:
VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 24 to 49, Height: 5’7″ to 6’4″, Weight: Excess Baby Fat
OCCUPATION – You may find this type working in a toy discount warehouse facility. Or maybe you’ll run across this type sweeping hair at the neighborhood barber shop, working part-time at a nursery or helping his parents out in the family owned hardware store.
FAVORITE FOODS – Dining with him will consist of a plate of warm baby cabbages, macaroni & cheese, and a Milky Way bar.
For lunch, you’ll share a peanut butter sandwich, two candy canes and a huge bowl of alphabet soup.
Dinner will be a Happy Meal from McDonald’s, loaded with chicken nuggets and a chocolate chip cookie.
FAVORITE DRINKS – Wanna stay in and have drinks with this thumb sucking mama’s boy? If so, then be prepared to spend a cozy, romantic evening in front of the fireplace sipping Nestle Chocolate NesQuik.
Also, he’ll talk you into downing a couple of swigs of prune juice. According to his crazy philosophy, this will loosen ya’ll bowels thoroughly and help ease any anxiety progression towards a decent sexual performance.
….but first, he must call mom to get tips on the best positions!
FAVORITE MUSIC – ‘The Flintstones’ opening theme song will be high on his Top 10 chart. Also, you’ll be dancing to the beat from the ‘Three Stooges’ jingle and ‘The Simpsons’. (hey, those guys are his idols).
FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – This childish joker will expect you to accompany him in viewing old video taped reruns of ‘Bozo’s Circus,’ and ‘the Disney Classics.’ Your fun-filled evening will also include MTV, and ‘Tom & Jerry’ cartoons.
FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – His hobby activities will include sand castle building, competitive dog & cat grooming and spit-shining old rusty wagon wheels.
As far as the physical fitness portion is concerned, his legs receive plenty of exercise from jumping up and down when he doesn’t get his way.
TYPE OF CAR – He’ll really think he’s impressing you when he picks you up in a pint-size Yugo or ‘clown car,’ which will display his newly customized Donald and Daffy Duck interior.
(he’ll glow with pride when he tells you that it took every cent from his piggy bank to get the job done).
LAST BOOK- ‘Bed Wetting Made Easy’ by Dr. Phil A. Bladder
TURN-ON’S – Tootsie Roll Pops with the bubble gum center, a well-oiled skateboard and a woman who enjoys 24-hour cartoon marathons.
TURN-OFF’S – Bossy women who are into competitive sports, a toy store going out of business, feminist groups and a chick that has a hand shake stronger than his.
SECRET FANTASY – To hold firm in his possession the largest collection of Harry Potter Magic and Mystery novels.
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Pisces
PERSONALITY – Still probably still camping out at home, this immature clown is half way through a mind alteration process.
Having strong family ties, he’s very sensitive to the suggestions and wishes of mom.
He’ll always compare you and your cooking to dear ol’ mom.
IDEAL WOMAN – To be a mirror image of mom.
WHERE TO MEET – You can find this type usually at any Toys-R-Us, his mama’s favorite neighborhood supermarket, the corner candy store or the video arcade.
GOAL – To one day, meet and marry a woman just like good ol’ mom.
RATING – 2.4….. You probably think to yourself, you wish you had a way to study a character’s profile of this type before you started dating. Your relationship with this man could go either way.
But the long-term lecture from him constantly comparing you to his mother, could be bad for your mental health. A very stressful thing! Unfortunately, If you have a mental collapse, this could possibly lead to drastic actions. Do you have any idea which actions I’m referring to?
Those actions that you know will eventually come; such as you going to the penitentiary and him?… to the graveyard!
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