How To Love An Unstable Business Chick | Profile Of Veterinarian Vera

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Veterinarian Vera Can Drive Any Man Batty. She Sometimes Treat Her Men Like They All Have Fleas.

Here’s another good one; career woman Vera; better known as ‘Veterinarian Vera.’  She’s a 29 year old female with a veterinarian’s license who many folks think she paid for it by sleeping with the Chairman of the Veterinarian’s Board of Directors.

She also claim to love all kinds of animals, but many of her clients swear they’d never take their pet back to her again. They feel she’s unprofessional and do drugs. Vera treats her men like she do her clients pets. (keep them on a leash and make them beg for sex).

Veterinarian Vera 

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 26 to 47  Height: 5’1″ to 5’6″  Weight: Dogmatic

OCCUPATION – When she’s not treating her client’s animals or some homeless mutt, she’ll volunteer to work the front office part-time just to see what records she could falsify, steal or destroy. (something a little ‘doggish’…er, I mean, ‘fishy’ going on).

FAVORITE FOODS – If this is the type of girl you’re seeking, then prepare to chow down on some fried rabbit patties smothered in raccoon sauce.How-to-select-a-compatible-mate

She’ll also offer you a side dish of bullhead onion soup with oyster crackers.

Dessert will be a slice of warmed over baboon pie topped with Cool Whip.

FAVORITE DRINKS – If you pop over some evening unexpected, you might find her sitting on the sofa sipping Bullfrog beer and downing shots of Southern Comfort, one after another.

This sudden drinking urge normally takes place after work and comes in spurts. After hours of this non-stop drinking madness, she becomes delirious.  Soon she starts babbling about being overworked, underpaid and not getting a discount on those cheap breast implants she had done 2 years ago.

FAVORITE MUSIC – Guys, if she’s for you, then you better get use to her type of lousey music. If you two are cruising down the highway in her little car, she’ll pop in a cd recording of her teaching her dogs new tricks, like howling together in harmony.

She’ll also serenade you with her singing voice. (again, MORE howling)!

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – She enjoys old ‘Lassie’ videos and any ‘Animal Planet’ episodes. But her all-time favorite is ‘Lady and the Tramp’ (It moves her to tears).

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – All dog competition events are high on the list. During her leisure time, you will join her in a hike, across the widest and largest field in the country just to pet a lonely cow.

Next stop, the zoo. She would pick the hottest day to walk, laugh and pet, …while your ass sit, cuss and sweat!

TYPE OF CAR – You’ll join her on long drives in her old rusted 82′ Volkswagen Beetle. (just be expecting to push when it breaks down on the road).

Very soon, and of course with your financial help, she’ll be able to purchase the car of her dreams…an 1984 pink Mustang!

LAST BOOK – ‘Why Most Dogs Look Like Their Owner’  by an author who’s unknown and too embarrassed to show his face.

TURN-ONS – Men who allow her to make house calls, men that know how to keep their mutt under control and men that like to spank her in bed.

TURN-OFF – Rival competition threatening to move their business on her block, customers who are always late paying their bills and people that park in her private spot. (you may get your tires slashed!)

SECRET FANTASY – To be treasurer of a world-class veterinarian convention in Death Valley, AZ at $800.00 a head. Later, after processing all the cash donations, she’s nowhere to be found.

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Sagittarius

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PERSONALITY –Truly a state-of-the-art type of girl, she is true to her craft and tries hard to take her business seriously.

She has the ability and know-how when it comes to pinning down the tiniest detailed problem in your animal. Regardless of the situation with your pet, she’s usually ‘Johnny On The Spot’.

She’s the type who would shed a tear at sight of a little kid pulling a dog’s tail…and then cheer, if the dog suddenly turned around and bit him.

IDEAL MAN – She adores the company of a tall, slim and hairy man with a BIG Dog. (I’m talking about the four legged kind, so get your mind outta the gutter). Also, her men should be quiet and obedient. When she shakes her bottom in their face, they should sit up, with tongues drooling begging for more!

WHERE TO MEET – You may meet a chick like this in the pet supply department at the local discount store, a dog grooming show and at the flea market.

GOAL – To have the first 24 hour drive thru, drop-off service for your convenience. (she encourages you, your pet and your wallet to take advantage of this special service).

RATING – 5.3…..If you settle down with this type, you will have a pretty decent start in life. A simple house with a white picket fence that need repainting, a used van that doesn’t run half the time, doggie poop stains in the carpet, and every breed of animal you can think of running around tearing up the place. Good luck with that!

See How To Love A Spoiled Man

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comments

Gustav Pedersen

This topic is one of the most interesting. It sound pretty normal here. If this is not your favourite style of a woman who has taste of music and quite ironic lifestyle then you be single instead of living with this. I really enjoy the twist the writer has made and some is grounded in a archetype reality. An abstract analysis on reality would bring ot a story and lifestyle similar to her lifestyle. Keep going author. I used to write like this before. Long time now

10/31/2018 | 2:37 pm
Reply

    Ronald Kennedy

    Thank you my friend for reading my post. Vera is in a class by herself. Not the normal type of business minded individual you’d normally run across. Taking reality and filtering in a touch of humor would make any material interesting to readers. Question for you Gustav, you mentioned writing in this format before, why did you give up writing humor?

    10/31/2018 | 4:50 pm
    Reply

free4life

Oh my, I am pretty sure I haven’t run across this type of woman myself and I hope not to, but she sounds alarming. Wait, her name wasn’t Vera, it was Bridgette.  Still, scares me to think. Not thinking I will be calling her any time soon. Thanks for the insight and, ummm, warning?

10/31/2018 | 2:42 pm
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    Ronald Kennedy

    Hi free4life. By the sound of your ID name, Bridgett must’ve had her ‘hooks’ deep in you and wouldn’t give you any slack. Glad you didn’t have a Vera type to deal with. She’s a ‘gold digger’ who wants it all. Yes, steer clear of Veterinarian Vera, (unless you wanna be treated like a dog)!

    10/31/2018 | 5:05 pm
    Reply

Jay

No one hopes to run across such a woman (or maybe some do). I do love a lady that likes dogs, but not to this extent. A lady that her favorite book is about dogs. That cannot be good. 

she’s the sort of lady that can drive most men crazy. With her habits and all that. 

I do like your writing style. Please keep it up

11/01/2018 | 4:53 am
Reply

    Ronald Kennedy

    Yes Jay, Vera can be a ‘handful’ and sometime difficult to deal with. If you like dogs,that’s good. Telling Vera, once upon a time that you were bitten by one, she will be entertained by your story. Hanging out with this type usually would lead to disaster and you with a very empty wallet. Share my post with others Jay.

    11/01/2018 | 5:23 am
    Reply

Nkhosingiphile

Everything about her is really not good, she is not having a good sense of humor. I rather be alone and be happy than to be with someone like her. Look… just imagine traveling on the highway with your love listening to the recording when she is with her dogs, it is really boring… That will mean i will be one of the dogs also and not anything else to her.

The way somebody treats animals states exactly the real person he or she is, if you have love for animals and care for them give them good food it really means you are really a good person but as for her it is a tragedy.

11/01/2018 | 5:01 am
Reply

    Ronald Kennedy

    My friend, thanks for checking in. Once a guy starts dating veterinarian Vera, he’ll soon discover he’s bitten off more than he can chew. At times, she’ll feel like the best sex you ever had. But more than likely you’ll end up in a threesome; her, you and the dog! Share my post with others.

    11/01/2018 | 5:50 am
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Renton

Great Post! Vera definitely does not sound soothing and comforting (like Aloe Vera – which is where I assume the name comes from). She seems like quite a sophisticated woman, she would probably be a very happy werewolf. She is quite hard to pin down (perhaps she is bipolar) because she claims to love animals but her behavior seems contradictory to that.

I think if I ever crossed paths with Vera I would probably run away very fast, although that is probably a bad idea because she may mistake me for a mutt and chase after me!

Truly wonderful piece of humor you have created here! 

11/01/2018 | 5:08 am
Reply

    Ronald Kennedy

    Hey Renton, you nail it right on the head with this chick. After a night out with Vera, you’ll be ready to seek out the nearest cliff to jump and ‘end it all!’ (she’ll drive a sane man nuts)! Bringing a very ‘fat wallet’ on your first date will bring ‘much joy and happiness’ to this deranged woman. Please share my post with others.

    11/01/2018 | 6:14 am
    Reply

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