Originally Published: Oct 30, 2018
Veterinarian Vera Is A Stalker And A Pest.
She Sometimes Treat Her Men Like They All Have Fleas.
Vera always wanted to be a veterinarian because she loved animals. She’s a 27 year old female who applied to a good veterinarian school, but got kicked out only after three weeks.
Determined to get established in this field, she decides to use every trick in the book. One way to get in is to get very friendly with the Head Of the Deans Department, then sleeping with the Chairman of the Veterinarian’s Board of Directors.
Folks who knows her don’t consider her a ‘bonafide’ career woman. Vera; better known as ‘Veterinarian Vera.’ did finally get a veterinarian’s license that many folks think she paid for.
She also claim to love all kinds of animals, but many of her clients swear they’ll never take their pet back to her again. They feel she’s unprofessional, mistreats their animals and do drugs. Vera treats her men like she do her clients pets. (Keep them on a leash, down on all fours and make them beg for affection).
So with all said and done, lets take a look at what Vera is all about:
VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 24 to 48 Height: 5’1″ to 5’6″ Weight: Dogmatic
OCCUPATION – When she’s not mistreating her client’s animals or tending to some homeless mutt, she’ll volunteer to work the front office part-time just to see what records she could falsify, steal or destroy.
FAVORITE FOODS – If this is the type of girl you’re seeking, then prepare to chow down on some fried rabbit patties smothered in raccoon sauce.
She’ll also offer you a side dish of bullhead onion soup with stale oyster crackers.
Dessert will be a slice of warmed over baboon pie topped with Cool Whip.
FAVORITE DRINKS – If you pop over some evening unexpected, you might find her sitting on the sofa sipping Bullfrog beer and downing shots of Southern Comfort, one after another.
This sudden drinking urge normally takes place after work and comes in spurts. After hours of this non-stop drinking madness, she becomes delirious.
Soon she starts babbling about being overworked, catching a sexual disease from a one-night stand and not getting a discount on those cheap breast implants she had done 2 years ago.
FAVORITE MUSIC – Guys if she’s for you, then you better get used to listening to things she classify as music. If you two are cruising down the highway in her little car, she’ll pop in a CD recording of her teaching dogs new tricks….such as howling together in harmony.
She’ll also serenade you with her terrible singing voice. (Again, MORE howling)!
FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – She enjoys old ‘Lassie’ videos and any ‘Animal Planet’ episodes. But her all-time favorite is ‘Lady and the Tramp’ (It moves her to tears).
FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – All dog competition events that week are high on her list. During her leisure time, you will join her in a long hike.
Later, she will challenge you to a foot race across the largest field in the country just to abuse a lonely, grazing cow.
Next stop, the zoo! She would pick the hottest day to walk, laugh and pet, …..while your ass sit, cuss and sweat!
TYPE OF CAR – You’ll join her on long drives in her old rusted 82′ Volkswagen Beetle. (Just be expecting to push when it breaks down on the road).
Very soon, and of course with your money, she’ll be able to purchase the car of her dreams….a 1983 pink Mustang!
LAST BOOK – ‘Why Most Dogs Look Like Their Owner’ by an author who’s unknown and too embarrassed to show his face.
TURN-ONS – Men who allow her to make house calls, men that know how to keep their mutt under control and men that like to spank her ass in bed.
TURN-OFF – Rival competition threatening to move on her block, customers who are always late paying their bills and people that park in her private spot. (You may get your tires slashed!)
SECRET FANTASY – To be treasurer of a world-class veterinarian convention in Death Valley, AZ at $800.00 a head. (..And after processing all the cash donations, she’s nowhere to be found.)
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Sagittarius
PERSONALITY –Truly a state-of-the-art type of girl, she is true to her craft and tries hard to take her business seriously.
She has the ability and know-how when it comes to pinning down the tiniest detailed problem in your animal. Regardless of the situation with your pet, she’s usually ‘Johnny On The Spot’.
She’s the type who would cheer at the sight of a little kid pulling a dog’s tail…and then get angry when the dog turns and bites him!
IDEAL MAN – She adores the company of a tall, slim and hairy man with a BIG Dog. (I’m talking about the four legged kind, so get your mind out of the gutter). Also, Vera expects her men to be quiet and obedient.
In the bedroom, she captivates them by shaking her tight ass in their faces, then expects them to sit up with tongues drooling, begging for more!
WHERE TO MEET – You may meet a chick like this in the pet supply department at the local discount store, a dog grooming show and at the flea market.
GOAL – To have the first 24 hour drive thru, drop-off service for your convenience. (She encourages you, your pet and your wallet to take advantage of this special service).
RATING – 5.3…..If you settle down with this type, you will have a pretty decent start in life. A simple house with a white picket fence that need repainting, a used van that doesn’t run half the time, doggie poop stains in the carpet, and every breed of animal you can think of running around tearing up the place. (Vera won’t have time to take care of them.) It’ll be all on you, bro! So good luck with that shit.
If you want to see more hilarious character profiles, go to Selecting a Compatible Mate.