I put this character’s profile at the top of my comedy ‘hit’ list. I gave myself a good laugh while creating this one. Although, all my characters profile’s give me a good feeling, this one represents many whiners living in our society today.
The men out there who’s still attached to moms apron strings. The spoiled type looking for love, affection and pampering. (The same affection mom gave him when she help tuck him in at night with his milk and cookies).
Ladies, when seeking a dating partner, here’s an example of what you could possibly end up with:
VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 24 to 49, Height: 5’7″ to 6’4″, Weight: Excess Baby Fat
OCCUPATION – You may find this type working in a toy discount warehouse facility. Or maybe you’ll run across this type sweeping hair at the neighborhood barber shop, working part-time at a nursery or helping his parents out in the family owned hardware store.
FAVORITE FOODS – Dining with him will consist of a plate of warm baby cabbages, macaroni & cheese, and a Milky Way bar.
For lunch, you’ll share a peanut butter sandwich, two candy canes and a huge bowl of alphabet soup.
Dinner will be a Happy Meal from McDonalds, loaded with chicken nuggets and a chocolate chip cookie.
FAVORITE DRINKS – Wanna stay in and have drinks with this thumb sucking mama’s boy? If so, then be prepared to spend a cozy, romantic evening in front of the fireplace sipping Nestle Chocolate NesQuik.
Also, he’ll talk you into downing a couple of swigs of prune juice. According to his crazy philosophy, this will loosen ya’ll bowels thoroughly and help ease any anxiety progression towards a decent sexual performance.
….but first, he must call mom to get tips on the best positions!
FAVORITE MUSIC – ‘The Flintstones’ opening theme song will be high on his Top 10 chart. Also, you’ll be dancing to the beat from the ‘Three Stooges’ jingle and ‘The Simpsons’. (hey, those guys are his idols).
FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – This childish joker will expect you to accompany him in viewing old video taped reruns of ‘Bozo’s Circus,’ and ‘the Disney Classics.’ Your fun-filled evening will also include MTV, and ‘Tom & Jerry’ cartoons.
FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – His hobby activities will include sand castle building, competitive dog & cat grooming and spit-shining old rusty wagon wheels. As far as the physical fitness portion is concerned, his legs receive plenty of exercise from jumping up and down when he doesn’t get his way.
TYPE OF CAR – He’ll really think he’s impressing you when he picks you up in a pint-size Yugo or ‘clown car,’ which will display his newly customized Donald and Daffy Duck interior.
(he’ll glow with pride when he tells you that it took every cent from his piggy bank to get the job done).
LAST BOOK- ‘Bedwetting Made Easy’ by Dr. Phil A. Bladder
TURN-ON’S – Tootsie Roll Pops with the bubble gum center, a well-oiled skateboard and a woman who enjoys 24-hour cartoon marathons.
TURN-OFF’S – Bossy women who are into competitive sports, a toy store going out of business, feminist groups and a chick that has a hand shake stronger than his.
SECRET FANTASY – To hold firm in his possession the largest collection of Harry Potter Magic and Mystery novels.
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Pisces
PERSONALITY – Still probably still camping out at home, this immature clown is half way through a mind alteration process.
Having strong family ties, he’s very sensitive to the suggestions and wishes of mom.
He’ll always compare you and your cooking to dear ol’ mom.
IDEAL WOMAN – To be a mirror image of mom.
WHERE TO MEET – You can find this type usually at any Toys-R-Us, his mama’s favorite neighborhood supermarket, the corner cany store or the video arcade.
GOAL – To one day, meet and marry a woman just like good ol’ mom.
RATING – 2.4….. You probably think to yourself, you wish you had a way to study a character’s profile of this type before you started dating. Your relationship with this man could go either way.
But the long-term lecture from him constantly comparing you to his mother, could be bad for your mental health. A very stressful thing! Unfortunately, If you have a mental collapse, this could possibly lead to drastic actions. Do you have any idea which actions I’m referring to?
Those actions that you know will eventually come; such as You going to the penitentiary and him?… to the graveyard!
“In Regards To Folks Dating, Recognize It’s A Crazy World Out There.” Crazy Enough You’ll Need A Scorecard Keeping Up With All The Various Profiles Of The Sexes. Want to see more ridiculous profiles? Fill in your info below and receive a Free copy.
**Also as a special bonus, receive a Free 10 week course on “12 Lessons for Loving” – Advice From The Wisest Americans On LOVE, RELATIONSHIP, AND MARRIAGE.
Also see: Loving a Horny Ol’ Grandma
If you found this post hilarious, please share it with your friends and colleagues on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.