How To Love A Horny Grandma | Profile Of Dirty Ol’ Doris

By Ronald Kennedy

How Loving This Old Bird Can Be A Crazy Experience.

How-to-select-a-compatible-mate

“IN A CLASS BY HERSELF”

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You know it’s no surprise to me that everyone has known a woman like this in their past. How could someone like this ever be forgotten?

Regardless if it’s a cafeteria worker at your old high school, a waitress at the old coffee shop that you and your friends used to frequent in college, or an old next-door neighbor that always had the hots for you, this type seem to appear somewhere in your life.


If you look up crazy, weird and sex addicted in Webster’s dictionary, this old chick’s mug would appear next to each word.

A HEAVY SMOKER

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To all the guys out there (of course this could be addressed to the ladies as well) when it comes down to loving someone like Dirty ol’ Doris, then my friend, you’ve hit the bottom of the barrel.

Also, you better get use to inhaling a lot of choking, cigarette smoke when in her presence and the smell on your clothes. Don’t complain! Doris don’t like that shit.

how to love a horny grandma

If you don’t mind the age difference and a woman who loves lots of sex (she’s 88) then this old bird might just be for you.

She’s a heavy smoker, so you better get use to it, or start smoking with her (that’s probably why she was born under the sign of cancer).

Just remember Not to smoke more than her! She’s a ‘three packer a day’ and will get ‘pissed’ if you try out doing her. (At least, she don’t smoke weed… she just ‘sell it.’) Ol’ Doris always wants to be the best at everything!

She was this way even at a young age. Growing up, when games were played among her friends, she would ‘kick their asses’ if she thought they were cheating.  And that toughness carried on throughout the years!

SHE MAYBE JUST AN OLD FART, BUT..

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“Hey! Don’t let her age fool you my friend. Ol’ Doris can still ‘throw down,’ even much better than others half her age.

Doris is an ‘Energizer Battery’ when it comes to sex! She can roll until the sun comes up!

Afterwards she’ll lay back, and have herself 7 or 8 smokes. Then It’s off to the races again. (So you better be ready)!

She’ll ‘screw your brains out’ and later suggest you take Viagra if you wanna go for several more rounds.  It pisses Doris off knowing you can’t keep your ‘Love Muscle’ “standing at attention” very long. This old broad hates a ‘limp penis.

If you think you’re man enough, big & bad enough, lets see how you handle this. Get ready now to meet the hottest (at least in her mind), most active old buzzard on planet earth; that really knows how to live life & make serious love.

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       Dirty Ol’ Doris

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 88 and going up fast, Height: 5’2″ to 5’5″, Weight: Flirtatious.

OCCUPATION – This type will most likely be employed as a office manager of some broken down junk yard. You may also find this type running one of the largest distributors of pornographic materials and adult sex toys in the US, Canada, and the UK (but not necessarily in that order)!

FAVORITE FOODS – Once she puts her teeth in, she’s ready for chow. Dining out will consist of old cabbage plants with Caesar dressing. A side dish of Muskrat stew and boiled owl heads. For desert, she’ll have a slice of baboon pie topped with wild cherries.

FAVORITE DRINKS – Most mornings, especially after a long night of hot sex, she’ll gulp down two large glasses of prune juice to help with bowel movement. The night life will consist of a fifth of Jack & coke, wine coolers and bloody Mary. Some Old Granddad bourbon would also be nice as well.

FAVORITE MUSIC – Ol’ Doris favorite sounds are the ringing of sales how-to-love-a-horny-grandma-profile-of-dirty-ol-dorisfrom her inner-city pornographic business (She says, “It’s a horny and freaky world out there and I’m looking to cash in”).

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – The ‘Golden Girls’ are on top of her list.

Also, it really fires her up when watching any amazing Youtube xxx Adult videos such as; “Debbie Does Dallas,” “Naughty Girls from Central High,” “Don’t Do Me Wrong…Just Do Me.” & “Old Broads From The Home Giving Gumjobs”

(It’s ‘double duty’ night. A round of blowjobs while soaking their teeth at the same time).

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – She wants to be a referee or judge at any event which includes young studs flexing their muscles. (She claims she’s the best at rubbing body oil.)

However, during football season, she’ll make bets with a couple of her old, wild girlfriends over which team pat the others fanny the most.

TYPE OF CAR – NONE! (Hell, she’s damn near 90, what do you expect?)

LAST BOOK – ‘Doggie Style 101’  by the ‘Back-Door Slammers’ from the over ’70’ Club.

TURN ONS – Young men’s sweaty muscles glistening on the beach, winning a big state lottery to impress young studs and hanging around men’s shower stalls after a game.

TURN OFFS – Old dudes trying to act young, middle-age dudes always complaining about their aches and pains, annoying people who keep reminding her of her age, and all the dudes trying to wear condoms they know are way too big.

SECRET FANTASY – To be voted “the hottest senior citizen of the 21st Century.”

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Cancer

How to love a horny grandma

PERSONALITY – This old bag knows what she wants in life and goes after it (especially ANY well-built, well-hung young stud will do)! Her demeanor toward the opposite sex sometime makes you wonder; if she really cares what’s thought of her. But really she don’t give a shit!

She thinks that being in the company of much younger men, make other women think they’re not popular enough. She also doesn’t realize that some of these men she know, only socialize with her because she’s lonely and have money.

These men also know that they could get anything their hearts desire by just telling her how sexy her old ass is.

IDEAL MAN – The wild, young liberal type. One who understands her needs and love trying out new positions.

WHERE TO MEET – You could run into sluts like this hanging around any convention in town promoting their large display of sex toys.

GOAL – To invite all hot, horny studs across America for an all-night sex orgy.

RATING: 3.9…If money and a sense of security is something you feel is important, then maybe this fun-loving ol’ bag is not for you. But keep the age difference in focus.

Your buddies might think you’ve cracked up when they spot you and her together. They’ll swear you’re out with your grandma! But all you’re trying to do with Doris is staying on her good side and out of her doghouse!

FYI

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So what do you think? Did you enjoy this funny article? Let me know through your comments.

Published by

Ronald Kennedy

A relationship expert handling any issue, Ron say's "No problem is too big or small." (My door is always open!) Also Ron is a comedy writer, (Wrote a book entitled, "How To Select a Compatible Mate.") A cartoonist and oil painter who studied at the Art institute of Chicago in 1980, Ron later decided to take a different career path. In 1997, he attended Harold Washington College and majored in hearing disabilities around the globe. (Go to https://babydosign.com and read some very interesting articles regarding children with hearing disabilities.) Ron's been working successfully online since 2004 and enjoyed helping others succeed along the way! Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.

200 thoughts on “How To Love A Horny Grandma | Profile Of Dirty Ol’ Doris”

  1. Hi Ronald 

    Thanks for sharing such a hilarious post with us. It is really a great fun. I have enjoyed your article very much. It was full of comedy. By reading your post it is very clear to me that loving this old bird can be a crazy experience.I loved the heading parts.One start thinking of something but then discovers something else.

    Thanks again. I’ll share this post with my friends and family. 

    1. Thank you for visiting my site and experiencing an enjoyable moment. Our minds need a relaxing break every now and then, away from all the daily crap we go through. Three cheers for this dirty ol’ bird! Hip, Hip,..Hurraay. Please share my post with all your social media downline. 

  2. Thanks for an entertaining read this morning as I drink my first coffee. The title caught my attention and I just had to read through this to see what “How to love my horny grandma and her profile of dirty ol’ Doris!” was all about! I think you may have some storytelling skills that are trying to manifest themselves starting with this post!

    Once I realized that this parody of a woman we all have known at one time or another, it became an “Ah yes, I know someone like that…” or “Yep, she used to be like that…” for me. Like stepping back in time, I got a really good laugh between your Dirty ol’ Doris and the ladies I knew that were, shall we say, quite amorous, for real! 

    My recommendation is that you cultivate this story-telling skill you have, it suits you very well and is an enjoyable read for the likes of me and most certainly, many other people that stop by your website. Are you doing this for a living already? I would definitely read more!

    1. Hi Dave. Thanks for the compliments. I’m glad I was able to take you on a ‘stroll down memory lane.’ It seems most of my readers see someone they know within the confines of my content. Go to any corner pub or juke joint, and here you’ll find this type hanging out and flirting. (What ol’ Doris wants, she gets). To answer your question Dave, I create these characters on a regular basis. So I guess you can say I’m doing this for a living.

      I also compiled a series of character profiles in my book, that’s on my site. Please share this post with others. 

  3. Type of car: NONE! [Hell, she’s damn near 90, what do you expect]  hahahaha Ron you got me today. I didn’t expect to meet such an interesting article today. Some of us hope that we have the same energy like Doris has at the age of 90. It means you grew up strong and steady.

    thanks for making my day

    1. Hey Brendah, it’s enjoyable to me to see my readers pick out certain sections on their favorite profile, which they think stands out the most. Ol’ Doris don’t mess around and will kick any womans ass who mess with her ‘boy toys.’

      We all need to have Doris energy level. ‘Hats off’ to ol’ Doris!! (At almost 90, she’s a real pistol!) Please share this funny article with others. 

  4. Freakin hilarious post!

    Even though I don’t have much experience in the field of dating older women, I do find it somewhat fascinating and intriguing.

    It sends chills up my spine just thinking How To Love A Horny Grandma | Profile Of Dirty Ol’ Doris
    How Loving This Old Bird Can Be A Crazy Experience.

    I’m open to suggestions.

    To Your Success,

    $haun

    P.S.-Although, I am into trying anything once, just so I could say I’ve tried that.

    Like I said, no experience! I’m open to suggestions.

    1. Hey Shaun my best suggestion is just GO FOR IT!! Hang out in the lobby of any nursing home, senior citizen building or your local church bingo hall, you’re bound to score! LOL. In the market while shopping, (these old bags shop early) strike up a conversation. They lonely and love to talk. 

      Shaun, I offer a 10 part series dating & relationships. Go back, submit your info and get your free copy. 

  5. I don’t know how you came up with the thought of How to love a grandma but clearly you have a big big and wide imagination, I feel like i could lecture about love but you clearly surpass me by far. I’m 20 and I’m hoping to fall in love soon. I’m actually really worried about the age of the love of my life and I hope it won’t be a grandma or a little cry baby, but I love mature woman and so I’ve dated girls who were older than me but hahahaha no grandma for me. Thanks this was quite an interesting subject.

    1. Hey Donny, I created these profiles as I think what would happen if someone ran into this type. The ideas start running through my mind like water. When I start laughing to myself, I know I’ve created a winner! Maybe this old broad will tickle the fancy of one of the younger male readers. LOL. Please share this funny profile with others.

  6. Ron this entire post honestly had me rolling around in stitches, so funny! I absolutely loved the read 🙂

    Amongst all the “serious” website content out there it was so refreshing to come across your light-hearted, humorous article. Pure genius you are.

    The best part about this post is that I can totally relate to knowing old birds like Ol Doris! I have a few funny characters just like her in my family… lucky me right!

    I can’t wait to read your future creations 🙂

    Kiara

    1. Hi Kiara. Well, I guess I don’t have to ask if you enjoyed my article or not. LOL! The response is always the same from my readers. They were rolling all over the place! I feel I’ve accomplished my goal when readers give me positive feedback. Dirty ol’ Doris; I salute you and all the other old bags out there that makes this world a scary place!

  7. Haha you really make my day brighter with this ‘hot profile’. A friend give me a link to this page and at the first, I thought this is a serious profile 🙂 It’s true that there will be always people like this and I hope whoever match with this profile can compromise all the sex drives from the mate. Thanks for the laughter

    1. My friend, Dirty ol’ Doris will fire up anyone reading her profile. She doesn’t mess around when it boils down to her young me. Doris always gets what she wants. Bangs her men ‘all night long,’ then tosses them to the side and get ready for the next one. Horny as hell that damn Doris is. (I pity the fool who wants an ‘all Nighter’) LOL. 

  8. This article is unbelievably hilarious, you got me good, Ronald. I needed some humor today. The title is ingenious, How To Love A Horny Grandma, I was immediately drawn in and I just had to find out about Dirty Ol’ Doris. The funny part is, I’ve known a couple of dirty ole women over the years and I gotta say, it’s a bit unnerving being around them. You certainly have some comedic talent; I thoroughly enjoyed the masterful way you put Ol’ Doris’s profile together. 

    Randy

    1. Thank you Randy for checking in with me. Ol’ dirty Doris wanna thank you as well! LOL!! She’s always looking for a ‘fast ride.’ Like you say Randy, there’s always an old hot chick like this somewhere in our past. Be it a family member or an old next-door neighbor, these horny old birds are everywhere. Please share my post with others. 

  9. I was just laughing all the way Ronald. There have been some instances where I see some old woman trying to be the young girl all over again at a very old age for it with some really funny theories to back up their acts. I find it really amusing relating this post to the lady around my house. Dirty Old Doris would be a perfect reflector of these ladies if it comes out in a book. Best regards .

    1. Thanks Benson for reading and enjoying ol’ Doris. She’s hot to trot, and ready to go. It seems there’s an ol’ Doris in every small town. Like you stated Benson, right there in the ‘hood’ a next-door-neighbor, is flirtatious. Out to get all the young meat she could find. This is her just doing her thing! Please share my post with others.

  10. Ya know, I’m from Alaska, where men are men and women win the Iditarod.  I think you could go into any popular bar in this state and find a couple pals of dirty ol’ Doris hanging out there.  Heck, at 81, I am almost old enough to try my luck!  (Oops, don’t really think it’s my cup of tea…or cup of gin???)

    Ya hafta admire these old dames that move right into the fast lane and keep going.  I recall a true story about a woman in Kodiak, where I lived for many years, who had a taxicab.  The owner of one of the heating oil companies there told me that, when a friend of his came to town, he got a cab ride with the old girl.  On the way into town, he asked her if she knew where the local whorehouse was located.

    She answered, “Honey, you’re riding in it.”  Nothing like getting to the new blood in town first!  

    Keep up the fun stories, as they are quite enjoyable to read.

    1. Hey Fran, I really believe your story about the old horny female in the cab. It show’s u can run into this type anywhere. Any city, any town, in any pub or beer joint you’ll find the dirty ol’ Doris type. But just hold on to your man because she strikes very quickly. (…Just Don’t go to the restroom and leave your man alone at the bar.)LOL. Please share this post with others.

  11. This profile of Dirty ‘Ol Doris is hilarious. I guess as a single man one would have seen many ladies like her. My mother owned and operated a large Nightclub where I worked as a young adult. I saw many of these myself. I can say as a lady who is single now and has been for 6 years, not all of us are like Dirty ‘Ol Doris. Some of us are actually nice, clean, smart, women who look at the Dirty ‘Ol  Donalds out there and have decided that it’s just better to be alone than have a drunk that sits around passing gas all day. The newest dating is the internet dating sites and that is some very funny stuff right there. I like humor and I used to go to the comedy club often just to watch the stand up there. I believe you may have a great chance at doing stand up. You are very funny. Thanks for the laugh.

    Your website is well organized, easy to read, and your graphics are fun.

    1. You know WS, a few of my other readers mentioned the same thing regarding me doing standup. (One reader says it’s like watching a ‘comedy show’ when she was reading my article. Another says I should create a weekly YouTube cartoon series) She came away with a very relaxing feeling! I know I’ve done my job well when I get positive feedback. Again, thank you for the complements and keep on laughing. Please share my post. 

  12. This is pretty funny and I can relate to this story of the ‘ Horny ol Girls” . It comes as a real shock to a young guy to be taken by someone who is in all accounts to old to be your mother but you don’t want to think of your grandmother. SHOCK AND HORROR AS YOU COME TO AN UNDERSTANDING THAT THESE LADIES EXIST AND THAT ALL YOUR LIFE OF RESPECTING MATURE WOMEN YOU FIND OUT THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY REAL PEOPLE. Great story mate

    Thanks for the memory, sorta hehe

    1. Hey Paul, these old bags still got a lot of ‘firepower’ inside of them. They hunt down every piece of young meat they could find. In bed, they will have the young stud screaming for mercy. These ol’ Doris types can never get enough. Sex is mostly all on their mind (Along with money). Please share my funny post.

  13. I was browsing for a dating site that I can trust and it happened I stumbled upon this article about dating. What I am looking for are girls of age 35 to 40 so maybe I can find tips in other articles here which I will browse after this. Since I have a lot of free time to browse through the different articles here, I find most of them humorous especially this one about how to love a horny grandma. There are some pretty shocking descriptions and specifications which are actually hilarious. I like your style, I mean the style of the author. Now, I know where to turn to when I turn 80 and still single.  

    1. Hey Gomer, I don’t think you wanna fool around with an old horny chick like Doris. She’s full of ‘firepower’ and stays horny as hell. It’s hard for younger guys to sexually tangle with this ol’ bat and still have their energy, She will always get her way in and out of the bedroom. Please share my funny post with others.

  14. I have really enjoyed your article admin because i have liked the way you have described this horny grandma. For I really enjoyed it. And another thing I have liked about this grandma, is that she is confident with what she is doing that is to say she enjoys her career no matter what the age.

    1. Thanks Mugalue for your comment. I’m sure ol’ Doris appreciate it too as well. Doris is always on the lookout for any hot young studs who’s up for the challenge. Everyday for her is an exciting new adventure.

  15. Dirty Ol’ Doris.. I have no idea how I landed on this part of the internet lol. This was pretty funny Ron, I had fun reading it. Whats funny is some of the “porn queen” moguls really ARE old ladies hahaha.  So true and good stuff man. I think I would be scared to pursue Dirty Ol’ Doris though lol, I would probably hide behind a bar stool or on the other side of the bar at the bar tenders feet! Anyways nice post and I look forward to reading more. Have a good one.

    1. Hey Riverdogg, you can run but you can’t hide! LOL. Ol’ Doris will find you hiding behind the bar. She’ll go back there, pull you out by your ‘ding-a-ling’ and will try to get down and nasty on the spot! This horny ol’ broad will always get her way. So you may as well ‘throw in the towel’ give in and enjoy the ride. Please share this post with others.

  16. Thanks for the humorous story Ron ole Doris sound like hard work:)

    I think her attitude toward sex is a little zealous to put it nicely, but I can also see that as a role model for some women in a deprived relation could benefit from knowing how desperate some old bags like Doris can be.? 

    And perhaps consider being a little more aware of the importance keeping the fire alive with a spouse is.

    Wish you Well.

    Ropata

    1. I agree that ol’ Doris is a real card! An old broad to be reckoned with. She’s not changing for anyone and will ‘kick your ass’ if you try changing her. She sets the bar high for other old bags who wanna follow in her footsteps. Doris will do whatever she can to get over.

  17. Old horse wants hay too. An age old activity since the beginning of time.
    Sexual minorities is a mighty interesting topic.

    So, I don’t really fully understand what is so funny for other folks about someone being a cougar? Hiding behind their own insecurities through laugh?
    If statistics reveal any truth, then they’re heading there too, since 4 out 5 marriages fail on this modern era. Now there’s a healthy cup of reality.

    I like though how you try to compartmentalize Dirty Ol’ Doris. It’s comical in a positive way.
    Looking at ‘turn ons’ section I immediately recalled of what famous social critic Christopher Hitchens claimed: “Why women aren’t funny” – In short: sense of humor.
    For most man, if they can’t make a female laugh, they’re out of evolutionary contest & they never get laid.

    With women, there’s no need to be rendering oneself attractive to man that way – We already find you attractive.
    Thanks!

    1. Yes Henry, the old lady needs love too. Dirty ol’ Doris profile is based on reality. but just written in a comical way. This character is someone you’d spot in any small town bar or local pub, looking for some young action. You can’t be too critical of ol’ Doris, she’s totally harmless and stays horny as hell.

  18. Hello, what an interesting article!

    The topic of your article is very enticing, and thus i found myself reading the whole article, I really like the way you categorised from you data from statistics, occupation and so on. It’s very informative to anyone who is looking forward to date someone of that kind out there, personally I just found it interesting while reading, I am sure to subscribe to your newsfeed to learn more from your article, also maybe direct us where to some people like them .. hahaha lol !

    thanks alot for sharing this article.

    1. Hey Joy, it won’t take your search long to find a old ‘hot’ woman like Doris. Go to any local bar or sleazy joint frequent by desperate, low class individuals, and there you’ll find an ol’ bird like Doris. She’s ‘hot to trot’ and goes after any young stud on the planet. Please share my post with others. 

  19. I do not really understand why some old Doris become so sexual at a very old age. Is this a new trend? I saw a testimony of another woman at age 70, saying that her sex drive has never been so high. She wanted it all the time and she got herself a boyfriend who was 48 years old. It is quite alarming!

    Thanks for sharing

    1. Some very old bags enjoy spending their time with younger studs. It makes them feel younger, keeps them energized. Remember, age is nothing but a number. It means nothing when making a connection with someone you feel good about. (Maybe these older chicks are just horny as hell) LOL!! Please share my post with others.

  20. HAHAHA! You got me good! 

    You know what, I was actually quite hesitant to keep reading after reading the first few lines… I literally thought that this was a serious guide on how to get into older women.. 

    Let’s just say: I was so relieved that this was for comedy purposes only. 

    I also checked out a few other posts on your site and man, you are a funny guy! keep it up!

    1. Thank you Jay for the compliment. I’m glad you kept reading the article. When someone tells me that they got a good laugh from my work, It makes me feel good. I accomplished my goal. Comedy cures the soul, no other medicine will do. Thanks again for stopping by. Jay, Please share my post with others.

  21. hahahahahahah, i really want to appreciate your effort in putting together this website and writing this article. it was so much fun reading your article. i could recall someone who fits that description, not perfectly but well enough to be call ol dorris. what an amusing post. i am sure you can find ol doris in most cities and small towns around

    1. Hey Benny my friend, I could not have agreed with you more. No matter where you go. any town big or small, you’ll see a Doris type. Visit any local pub or juke joint, there she is. Even in our own families, you’ll see an ol Doris type, in the form of an aunt, cousin, sister or grandma. Yes they’re everywhere!

  22. This is the perfect way to start a day with a smile. I had a lot of fun and I think Doris is the woman of our days. I love people like you who make people laugh and feel good.
    Since everything around us influences us, I would like to have people like you around me. I can’t wait to see the next article. If you don’t mind, i will share this article on my social media account. I have there a lot of friends who will be who will have fun just like me. 

    Thanks a lot for sharing this with us. Wish you all the best!

    1. I’m happy you enjoyed my article, my friend. It’s folks like you, whose very appreciative, is why I keep writing and drawing. Yes! Please share this with all your social media downline! Putting a smile on the faces of others, is what makes the world go around. With all the crap going on in our world today it feels good, even for a brief moment, to venture off with our minds into a funny state. I hope people in your social media account enjoy my post as much as you did. Thanks. 

  23. Hello Ronald, I find this article really fascinating and from the start, I was really eager to see what was there in the post and i really enjoyed every minute spent reading this post. I actually believe there are some grandma’s like this fictional character you have given in our world, just that’s they are rare to find. Is this story and adaptation or completely fictional ?

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed my funny article. Benson, my characters such as this one, are fictional with some underlying truth in each profile. Maybe some wild, old bag may see herself in my article, get a good laugh and then continue on with her partying ways. Benson, please share my post. 

  24. Many thanks to you for sharing such an excellent article with us .Your article was very informative and I enjoyed reading it.And I don’t know if the love that is being talked about here exists between us today and I love reading this love story.And there is a lot more I can learn from this story that will help Shah show me the ways forward.I would like to share your registration with my friends so that they can know about horny grandma love.

    1. Thank you for reading. Love shows No boundaries. “Never too old”, as dirty Doris would say. Doris is horny 24/7. Any young stud would do. Please share my post with all your friends.

  25. This is a good one. I must first commend the time and energy that you have put into making this website with nice templates and finding time to write an article on dirty ol Doris and tales of her character. The character is a unique on and you can find a representative of this character almost in any small town

    1. Yes my friend. You hit ‘the nail on the head’ when you stated that in eery small town, you’ll find this type of woman. Wild and not ashamed, Ol’ Doris gets out, do her thing and don’t give a rats ass who cares! Please share my article with others.

  26. Thank you so much for sharing a funny article with us. The main content of this article is Love Horny Grandma How to select her compatibility mate. I remember reading your article and laughing, this is a great idea. Then I will say that the way you highlight the essays in the article is so wonderful.I read your article Realizing that Grandma needs a compatible mate.

    Finally thank you again for writing such a lovely article.To entertain everyone I would like to share your article in my Facebook group if you give me permission.

    1. Hello MD. Thank you for enjoying my article. Many folks love dirty ol’ Doris and her wild escapades. (You never know what Doris will do next). She love young guys, so MD, watch yourself! LOL. And yes my friend, please share my post with your FB group. No problem. Thank you for commenting.

  27. I truly need to initially value your exertion in assembling this incredible site and composing this article. Thanks for sharing this sort of hilarious publish with us. It is really splendid fun. I have loved your article very much. It was full of comedy. By studying your post it’s far very clean to me that loving this old bird may be a crazy experience. I cherished the heading parts. One starts deliberating something however then discovers something else. I am going to bookmark it. I must share your article with people close to me. Looking forward to more beautiful articles related to this in the future.Good Luck!

    1. Thank you my friend for your compliments. I like that you enjoy that type of comedy. I love making others laugh and to take our minds off all the crap, that’s going on in our world today. We need more laughter in our world. Yes, Sabrinamou please bookmark this post and share it with all your FB friends. 

  28. Thank you for this post its really funny, though i know its a made up character after reading this post i feel like i know her personally. You are an excellent writer and congratulations on a great post i really enjoyed reading it and its funny cause i cannot help but wonder what her favorite position might be):

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed my funny post Elroy. Yes, my characters are all fictional, but real-life personalities with a comedic twist to each. We need things to give us a good laugh every-now-and-then. Her favorite position? …well, that’s some information you’ll have to get from ol’ Doris. (But she won’t tell)Lol. Please share my funny post.

  29. Yo man 

    This article is something else man, i mean i honestly did not know that you can have a manual for loving someone older. I  didn’t even know if it were possible really.

    I would like to ask though, is this knowledge from experience or you are just damn too good with research? 

    1. Hi my friend. Glad you liked what I wrote. I try to make my fictional characters as funny as I can. If you get a good laugh, then I know I’ve done my job. Hey Gyvinek, if you have a large downline, please share my post with them.

  30. Oh, Ron, 

    What a hoot! As I continued to read down the page I just kept thinking of an old neighbour I used to live beside and really thought you had modelled this on her. But, she is British and vegetarian!

    Dirty Ol’ Doris seems to be living her best life, as should, we all, maybe not by being so sex-crazed as her though, god I don’t have that stamina at half her age!

    You should really get a screenplay written, that was the most I’ve laughed in a while and would pay to see something that funny.

    Michelle

    1. Thank you Michelle for enjoying my work. (I know ol’ Doris appreciate you too.) LOL! Many of my readers always say they can identify with this character because of a friend or neighbor they knew. I started thinking, “Damn! There must be a lot of horny, old ladies out there.” LOL! You are the third or fourth person that said I should take my comedy to the next level regarding the entertainment field; ‘screenplays’, ‘stand up comedy’ etc; (hmmmm..something to think about)!! Michelle, please share my post with others. Thank you.

  31. Hi Ronald. Thanks for the article.  You have made me laugh a lot. It is very funny!  That is really a good job. I also love the music videos. The pictures is lovely. I really love the detailed profile of Dirty OI Doris. I really needed the laugh today. I will come back and to read more about this for sure.  Thank you so much for the interesting topic. I really enjoy it so much. I even  let my husband read it too. Good work.

    1. Elizabeth, there’s plenty more characters where that came from. I’m always cranking out new ideas. Also, happy you and your husband were able to get a good laugh from ol’ Doris. Off and on, more will be posted. I love making folks laugh. Comedy is my thing! Elizabeth, Please share my post with others,

  32. very funny  post! It really lightened up my mood

    Laughter truly is the best medicine. This is one of the most funny posts I’ve come across  this year. Thanks a lot for sharing this with us today.

     I sure will be on the lookout for Horny Ol’ Doris when next I go downtown she’s certainly my perfect woman. Lol!

    1. Glad you enjoyed my funny character. She’s a ‘hot one!’ Hey hillarydandy, ol’ Doris will take you on and your friends ….at the same time!! LOL! Whatever the younger chicks can do, Doris can do better! So my man, you better watch out when you go downtown. Ol’ Doris may just be waiting!! Please share my post with others.

  33. Hi RJ
    This is hilarious – and in today’s PC world I am very glad to see that there are many women respondents here who found it similarly funny. I think you have described one of my longest-held fantasies to a T. I’ll keep dreaming.
    Thanks and keep on blogging!
    Andy
    ps – also wanted to express my sincere thanks for your comment on my site. I sent you a lengthy and I hope thoughtful reply. All the best to you Sir.

    1. Thank you Andy. I’m glad you enjoyed reading my post. I love making people laugh. I hope one day your dreams will become a reality and you will meet your own personal ‘Dirty Doris’ Much success in all you do my friend.

  34. this is pretty hilarious to me. I was trying on the shoe but it didn’t exactly fit. I do like to have a couple of drinks every now and then but at home. I am 62 my husband is 49 he doesn’t complain one bit when I get tipsy, in fact, he wants to serve me another drink and another one after that cause he knows what happens then, I turn (pretty close) into ol Doris and he loves that. he married me for some good old reason. I am laying here next to him just laughing, and wondering if my husband sees me like that. next time I get to drinking I’m going to set up my camera to see his face when he is serving me drinks I haven’t really paid attention because it is usually when the company is over, we have some drinks by the time they leave. guess what? I am feeling pretty damn well ready to let my hair down. laughing with me I hope. I love your sense of humor. when all this craziness is going on in the world it’s nice to be able to laugh. laughter is the best medicine.
    thank you for this post keep having fun. by the way, I’m not really like that but my husband is 49 and I am 62.
    best wishes,
    Miriam

    1. Hi Miriam. I think you and Doris should hang out together for some drinks. LOL. It also sounds like you and hubby have great times together. That’s what it’s all about. Y’all are a ‘match made in heaven.’ I wish you plenty more happy years ahead. Miriam, If you wanna see more crazy characters that I created, look at this: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/717520

  35. Lol! I couldn’t just stop myself from laughing having read through this vivid and some very finny description here. Honestly, I value all you have shared here and I would say that I truly believe that a lot more could go right here. Definitely, this is very worthy to see here. It was such a good laugh for me. Thanks

    1. Thank you Shey for enjoying my work. Dirty ol’ Doris is one-of-a-kind! Wild as hell, but sometimes she can have a ‘kind heart.’ Many guys will fall at her feet! (Why? I don’t have the faintest clue). Maybe one day I’ll have to ask Doris what do she do to these young guys minds. Thank you for reading and commenting Shey. Please share my funny post with others.

  36. Your article is by far the best I have read in a very long time!!!!! You are a delight and I will be coming back for more everyone needs a smile and a chuckle in todays world and you are just that smile!!! What is even funnier is Doris is a cancer just like myself. May we all be like Doris in the end.

    1. Thanks ccav66, I’m glad you enjoyed it. If my work puts a smile on your face, then I know I’ve done my job. Yes, I agree that we all need something to smile about now-a-day, with all the BS in our world today! I have more crazy characters waiting in the wings, along with some more serious stuff! Please share Doris with others. Let them all know ol’ Doris is here to stay….at least, that’s what she say! LOL.

  37. Hello Ronald, this is on every funny article you have written and I really enjoyed every bit of it. Instead I go along and it’s really fun to be here. I find it quite amazing, because I really needed the laughter as at when I first came here and I am happy. I got something to make me laugh from your site. Thank you

    1. I’m glad my articles give my readers a good laugh that makes their day. We need more laughter in the world due to all we go through on a daily basis. As they say, “Laugh and the world laugh with you. Cry, and you cry alone.” Keep on enjoying & sharing my funny post, my friend.

  38. Oh, here’s another wonderful profile that I think is very well written too. I’m not so farmiliar with this one though, but I think they actually do exist and that loving them might be a little bit hard. I’m sure one can get some money from them seeing that they should have something to offer. Nice one to show this.

    1. Hi Suz, I’m glad you enjoyed my funny character. Some folks who read these profiles, always seem to know someone like this. A neighbor, friend or relative. etc; But a woman like this, every guy would know her. Doris is a ‘Fan Favorite.’ Please share my funny post with others.

  39. Quite a funny and interesting situation I have pictured from reading this article. Well, I have never been in such a situation before, and do not hope to be in such a situation at any particular time of my life. I have learnt a few things about horny grandmas, a ‘Dirty Ol’ Dorris’, and how to handle them if such a case arises. And better still, how to avoid them.

    1. Yes Kelvin, if you ever run across an old bag like this who has the hots for you, better run the other way as fast as you can! LOL! These type of chicks love that ‘young meat,’ and will do all they can to have it their way. They stay wild, hot and horny! Please share this funny post with others!

  40. Hello there, thanks a lot for for sharing this wonderful content here with us. I have gone through it and i must say i really did enjoyed it as it was really entertaining and fun to read. I was not in a good mood earlier but after i saw the heading of this post i already started laughing for no reasons, good piece.