How The Successful Mating Process Works | 5 Steps Toward A Successful Hookup

How The Successful Mating Process Works | 5 Steps Toward A Successful Hookup


It All Begins With A Successful Planning Process

How A Relationship Through Planning Will Succeed Forward

When it comes to love and finding a mate for a long-term relationship, studies has shown that men need a clear set of instructions for specific actions.


That’s what I’ll be touching on here: a planned five-step process that boils everything you need to do down to the simplest possible set of facts to learn,  choices to make, and actions to take. The five steps are:

  1. GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT: Fix your mental framework for thinking about women, sex, and dating; replace antique nonsense with state-of-art insights; develop confidence, understand women’s points of view, and clarify your mating ethics and mating goals.
  2. DEVELOP ATTRACTIVE TRAITS: Understand what woman want in men and why, and then give it to them by cultivating the key traits of physical health, mental health, intelligence, willpower, tenderness, and protectiveness.
  3. DISPLAY ATTRACTIVE PROOFS: Understand the signaling principles that underlie honest, hard-to-fake proofs of value, and construct your personal, professional, social, and romantic life around building and displaying those proofs.
  4. GO WHERE THE WOMEN ARE: Understanding how the mating markets work, given the supply and demand of men and women; how to find women who offer the highest value and the best compatibility, given your tastes and goals; and how to meet those women in specific places, from local leisure clubs to online dating apps.
  5. TAKE ACTION: Understand how to talk to women. Date them, have great sex with them, and learn from your experiences to build a positive feedback cycle of personal improvement, sexual experience, and delighted women. All of which will help you create and execute your mating plan.

These steps are simple to understand, but they’re not always easy to accomplish. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you bullshit!

I’m not offering a get-laid-quick scheme. I know that a third of the dudes reading this probably won’t take this information seriously.

Another third will skim through this post and maybe take this information into consideration.

But for the last third of the dudes, this info is really FOR YOU – the smart, hungry & horny guys who will get inspired to think, choose and act.

They’ll be eager to share this site with their single friends and others.

Those who take things into their own hands and figure they don’t need any help with finding women, will fail to change their lives or improve their mating success in any significant way.

Build Your Self-Confidence


“How can I become more confident?” is the question most struggling, single guys ask. Whether it’s about approaching women, dating them or just having sex.

For the un-confident among you, it all feels like a terrifyingly uncertain nightmare, and as a result, you worry about practically everything.

“What do I say?” “What do I do?” “Where do I take her?” “What if she doesn’t like me?” “What if she says no?”

“What if I’m not good at all?” “What if I throw up on her after too many shots?” What if, what if, what if….

Fortunately, in the last twenty years researchers have gained a lot of new insights into the origins and nature of confidence, and they allow us, finally, to explain exactly what it is:

Confidence is the realistic expectation you have of being successful at something, given (a) your competence at it and (b) the risk involved with doing it.

Take driving, for example. When you get behind the wheel now, as opposed to being a much younger inexperienced driver, you understand all the unseen risks and thus have a very high expectation of getting where you intend to go safe and sound.

Confidence Reflects Competence


Don’t think confidence is some kind of modern phenomenon through, just because people today don’t shut up about it. Confidence has been a thing for a long time.


In fact, confidence is part of your genetic makeup; it evolved over thousands of generations as a mental tool to guide our decision-making around risk.

A confident guy expects the woman to engage him in conversation when he goes up to say hi and introduce himself. He expects her to give him her number when he ask for it.

He doesn’t think he deserves it or she owes it to him (unless he is also an entitled douche bag, which is entirely possible) – he just expects that he’s going to get it, even before he says a word. Why?

Because he’s done this dozens if not hundreds of times, with enough success to accurately predict the likely outcome.

How can you realistically judge the likelihood of your success in a unique moment like that – or in any domain of life?

Your brain does it by unconsciously integrating a bunch of data from your memory and your current states.

It adds up your past training, experiences, and successes, plus your present capabilities, to guide your decisions.

Your brain is like a mushy three-pound sports book between your ears, setting the line and shifting the odds on to your immediate future.

The most annoying thing about confidence, though, is that 90% of the time it’s dormant (or at least, it should be). It should only become an issue when you’re actively facing a risky challenge, not when you’re eating dinner or sitting at home trying to chose between watching football or Netflix.

Nobody walks around all day vacillating between confident and un-confident. That would be exhausting and pointless.

When a challenge does arise-like texting a new mate from eHarmony or having sex with a woman for the first time-your confidence system immediately switches on and delivers its verdict: what confidence level you should feel in this situation, given its rewards and risks in relation to your competence level.

For example, if your game is tight and you’ve had successful dates from eHarmony, your confidence is probably high. If you’ve had a history of striking out with women and a reputation as a two-pump chump with new ones, your confidence is going to be low.

Build Confidence Through Demonstrated Performance


So let’s talk about building confidence. First thing’s first: there are No shortcuts! Anyone who tries to sell you their “Ten Tricks To Get Confident with Women” is selling you bullshit!

If they tell you to visualize your mating success, then the actual secret is that they’re charlatans taking your money.

The only effective strategy for gaining real confidence is to develop skills and demonstrate performance of those skills.

Developing realistic self-confidence is truly that simple. All you have to do is get good at the things you want to feel confident about and then demonstrate those skills, to yourself and others.

This means learning, practicing and then consistently performing under real-life conditions, with real stakes, when people are watching.

Once you do that, confidence in that skill is almost automatic.

So what do you think? Did you enjoy this article? If you found the information in this post interesting & useful, please share it with your friends and colleagues on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google Plus.


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Author | Ronald Kennedy Comments | 4 Date | 10/18/2016

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I agree with all that is said in this post, and through my experience confidence definitely had its place among the top requirements when finding a mate.

One thing that is worth mentioning is body language. A man might try to express confidence through words and facial expressions, but ultimately his body language says it all. For example, the man will need to stand tall and bring out his chest, every hand gesture is confirmed without hesitation, and keeping eye contact with her during the conversation. All this adds up to an overall positive impression.

And as you mentioned, all these can only be learned through practical and practice.

11/19/2016 | 1:11 am

    Ronald Kennedy

    Yes, a confident individual, in most cases lands its prey. A hunter never wants to be captured by the game! You mentioned body language. Yes, body language is a key element in regards to relaying a positive or negative message to the opposite sex. Understanding where a woman’s head is at and attending to their important needs, is what it takes to get things off on the right foot.

    11/20/2016 | 3:49 pm


Hi Ron: First, let me say that your theme is beautiful. However the large splashes of reds and pinks did hurt my eyes a bit. I also found the navigation of the site slightly confusing. You have included some very good information here to help both young and older men and women choose their life mate or just choose the perfect date. I think young people today don;t put enough thought into what they want their long term partnership to be like. They choose the physical look of the person rather than getting to know what they want from life.
I see couples quite often, who are on the verge of marriage and have no idea what is most important to their mate. They don’t know if children are important, what their religious beliefs are, what their work ethics are or any of the really important values are. If they would only take a little more time getting to know each others values, it could save a lot of visits to divorce courts.
Don’t let your emotions and appearance alone be the thing that rules your heart when choosing a mate. There is so much more to it.
A lasting relationship should be both exciting but comfortable, caring and considerate.
You have a very nice website and the navigation and color probably wouldn’t bother the average person.
Best wishes, Fran

05/09/2018 | 8:15 am

    Ronald Kennedy

    Hi Fran, thank you for your comment. I agree with what you say in regards to relationships. Since we’re both from ‘the old school’, we think alike, have the same views. Things nowadays, is nothing like what went on in the past. Folks hook up too quickly, then end up breaking up just as fast.

    No one takes the time to understand and get to know each other. Looks ain’t everything! Money doesn’t buy happiness. Everyone is too materialistic.

    05/13/2018 | 2:39 am

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