By Ronald Kennedy
These Love Sick Individuals Will
Catch You ‘Off-Guard’. They Search High & Low, So Don’t Be Surprised If ‘You’re The Chosen One.’ You Never Know What Type Of Person Will Try To Get Your Attention!
“Statistics shows 20% of current, committed relationships began online.” (Surprised, huh?)
While your best chance at finding love is through a friend – which is how 63% of married couples say they met their partner – you still only have a 17% chance that you will like the person you’re set up with. We always say that love conquers all regardless of how or where you meet. Also, it’s best to remember the average number of relationships before marriage for men is six, and five for women.
Don’t Put Granny In ‘A Rocking Chair’ Just Yet.
Most old ladies like the simple, quiet life. Sitting around talking with other old buzzards. Conversing about their late husbands, aches and pains, and how the government is doing senior citizens wrong! Now along comes sex craved ‘Dirty Ol Doris.’ She really knows how to get a party started! (Guys, better have your vitamins ready!)
This old gal doesn’t believe in slowing down in time soon. (In her upper 80s, she feels she’s in the prime of her life and as ‘wild as ever!’) When it comes to dating, Doris says that, “That the only thing an old man can do for her, is to go find her a young man.” Dirty Ol Doris is really something (Read More.)
Calling On All ‘Female Jocks. ‘Bring It On!’
Ladies! Do you talk, play, eat and drink sports 24/7? If you want to date this type, be prepared to spend the evening talking about who has the ‘Most Scoring points’ in the NBA? Who has the ‘Most MVP’ trophies? Which league is better, the AFC or the NFC? He would love for you to be submerged into sports. (Sports talk can be a great conversation piece as long as you keep it to a minimum).
But a sport nut of this magnitude don’t realize all women isn’t like that. I don’t have to tell you where your first date will be. (Yes, you guessed it… At The Local Sports Bar!) Fish & Chips, A pitcher of suds, and a soccer or baseball game on the Big screen (Read More.)
Men Love Women That ‘Get Down’ In The Kitchen (But There Are Exceptions.)
Most women love to cook! The old saying goes that ‘the way to a mans heart is through his stomach.’ Then there are those women who will go the extra mile to learn how to be better in the kitchen. But then they’re those women that should NEVER, Ever enter the doors of any cooking facility; nowhere on the planet. Bumbling Careless Carla is one of those. Carla just simply can’t get it together when preparing meals.
You would think a cook book would help mold her into a better cook (Sadly, she’ll accidentally set fire to the damn book.) She may be great in many other area’s of your life. Great keeping the house in order, fantastic mum in keeping the kids together. But cooking dinner that you and the kids can stomach is NOT one of her specialties. Just keep the doctors number nearby (Read More.)
Don’t Challenge Gus! He’ll Drink You Under The Table!
It seems there’s one in every family! Now don’t lie! (You have one too. We all do.) At Thanksgiving or Christmas, this type always shows up during holidays and shows out. He’ll arrive drunk! (This is his particular special time of year, because he knows the relatives will be lying out all the booze right before dinner).
‘Guzzlin’ Gus will park his drunk ass in a chair right near the liquor, just to make sure he gets his fair share. But he’ll get an attitude when you tell him to move (Read More..)
Vet Vera: Care Giver Of Animals, Nuisance And A Sex Fein.
She claims the title as someone in charge, but just can’t seem to get it together. Running her own vet business, she has more complaints against her instead of praises. It’s not enough that she excepts sex as ‘partial payment’ from male clients, but she also lost a ton of female customers along the way, (which by the way, are their wives!) Many threatened to kick her ass!
She admires the fact that men love checking out her ass, but didn’t realize she was exposing way too much, when she appears in their presence without her lab coat! (Read More..)
This Male Nurse Will Always Be Sweet On You.
Sexual preference is not an issue with this dude. Coming out of the closet years ago, he knows what he wants and goes after it. He understands that when others observe him, they recognize that ‘this dude has a little sugar in his tank,’ but he doesn’t give ‘a rats ass’ what others think of him. Flamboyant in his ways, he loves the attention.
His chosen profession is in the medical field. He enjoys assisting in various departments, especially when he can give penicillin shots to the ass of all the guys fighting sexual diseases (Read More..)
How Can a Woman Deal With A Mama’s Boy All Day!?
Some dudes never grow up! Women find themselves raising more than just the three children at home. Throughout time, man has been the breadwinners while the woman took care of the house, bills and kids. Now they’re many ‘stay-at-home’ dads watching the kids. (I think this action does something to their minds!)
Sometime it looks like the man is jealous of his own kids. This drives her crazy. When arguments break out and he doesn’t get his way, he runs to his mama’s house for comfort (Read More..)
PROFILE CLASSIFICATION INTERPRETATIONS:
VITAL STATISTICS – To provide you with a brief overview of outward appearances and cosmetic appeal. (Watch for extremes at either end of the spectrum).
OCCUPATION – Look for current and future earning potential. Some occupations will have long-term negative impact on a person’s health, i.e. all affiliate marketer’s experience burn-out and can’t make a buck, all high school teachers are hooked on Tylenol and PeptoBismol, all postal delivery folks have dog bites, etc;
FAVORITE FOODS – Food will reflect on personal taste. A certain level of sophistication comes into play. Expect serious bouts of possible gastric problems later in life. Think in terms of one day sharing a dinner table with this person. Look for compatibility in foods. Keep in mind that some taste could be acquired. i.e. chicken foot soup & wheat crackers, fried snake skin & scrambled eggs, Ostrich meat covered in warm gravy, etc;
FAVORITE DRINKS – This should give you more insight into his/her personality just by what that person guzzles on a regular basis. You will be shocked and in awe over the type of liquid consumed, i.e. pickled pig feet juice, ice tea mixed with mustard sauce, cheap bootleg whiskey produced in his cousin’s basement, etc;
FAVORITE MUSIC – Provides you with a strong idea on what they consider good music. (Again, a reflection of a person’s background and personality).
FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS –Tends to suggest overall mental capacity and their captivation over the ‘idiot box’ and the Big Screen. Look for mainstream programming based on left or right wing entertainment, i.e. Watching Saturday Night midget wrestling, The Terminator, First 48-Hours, Court TV, and any XXX adult videos he can view on YouTube.
FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – May provides some clue on how you’ll spend your leisure time. You may gain insight into traffic patterns, i.e. The Sunday afternoon long-distance spitting match, Cheating at card games, cheating at board games, The Thursday evening short distance turtle racing, and eventually the best hobbies of all….cheating on You!!
TYPE OF CAR – This is another indicator of ‘Style & Financial Stability.’ A car sometime matches up well with the owner. An old school Volkswagen Beetle….for the feeble-minded, a Chevy Impala….for the person still living in the past, an old Hyundai Hatchback…for the little guy with Big Feet! Remember The Dodge Neon? This is a vehicle used by the stubby, loud mouth woman who thinks she knows everything, but don’t know shit.
TURN-ON’S – This should tell you how wild, crazy or just mentally retarded he/she is. Are they fun-loving or just plain silly & perverted? Steer clear of someone turned on by nude statues, drugs, or mindless chatter.
TURN-OFF’S – Tells you what gets this individual uptight and all bent out of shape. If something is not right and to their liking, they will definitely let the whole world know about it after whining like a baby.
LAST PHYSICAL BOOK READ – A hint at the literary capacity of a person. Although most things are read online today, you may still find those individuals searching for info on the library shelves or buying copies from old bookstores. Watch out for unusual reading habits. If you notice material around their apartment with titles like: ‘Murder for Fun & Profit’, ‘Cheating Without Guilt,’ ‘Five Easy Steps on Hooking a Husband’….RUN FOR THE HILLS & DON’t LOOK BACK!!
SECRET FANTASY – They will give you a peek into their deepest inner thoughts and may sometime even act upon them. (Gets a little scary, doesn’t it?)
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Zany & whacked out illustrated zodiac signs are displayed for each character.
PERSONALITY – Gives you, the single person, a challenge into figuring out the visible aspects of your mates character and the sum total of their inner-self in regard to any wacky and distinctive qualities this person might posses. (Another scary notion).
IDEAL WOMAN OR MAN – This will give you some idea of their preference. (Half the time most don’t know what they want).
WHERE TO MEET – Let you know of these characters’s most likely, unfavorable, hang-out spots!
GOAL – This is a level in their life that’s usually Never achieved.
RATING – 2.4…..The person’s profile is taken into account. Information is then analyzed on the character’s total self and is scored based on the “Time Waster”, ‘Losers in Life’ scaling system.
Everyone needs love! People are searching every day for that special someone. The only problem is that you don’t know what you’re getting into until you start getting involved. Now with all this valuable information in your possession and a well-thought-out plan of action, any man or woman can be yours. So good luck to you and Good Hunting!!