How to manage your relationship

How Can I Find Someone For Me – 4 Major Steps To Follow.

Updated: January 21, 2022

Dr. Seuss relationship goals quotes

It’s not and never has been a perfect world regarding dating. You ask yourself, “How can I find someone for me?”

I’ll tell you how and the things to look for. First, you don’t want anybody just for the sake of having a companion or mate. (Hell. In that case get a dog!)


These four simple steps will get you out of ‘the starting gate!’

1) IT ALL BEGINS WITH ‘PERSONALITY’ FOCUS.

How Can I Find Someone For Me?
Couple working together painting apartment.

Your search should clearly focus on the other person’s personality.

It would be great to find someone that has something in common with you. That’ll come over time once you slowly get to know the person.

Remember, that’s when you’re the most relaxed, the most satisfied. Knowing you have someone you can talk about things with.

Before, getting over the challenge of just meeting someone, would’ve been tough. With everyone masking up before, you never got a chance to see how nice looking or how ugly a person really is.

2) CAN’T MEET IN PERSON? THEN TALK FIRST ONLINE!

How can I find someone for me.
Feeling happy that she’s talking to new guy online.

As far as looks are concerned, you’d have to guess and ask yourself, “Just how ugly is that person behind the mask?”

You can really get a good feel for a person through ‘face-time.’ No need to worry about fakes because you know who you’re talking to already. (Make sure it’s a ‘live video chat).

You’ve already met. Now you can start getting to know each other better through video. Keep in mind, things have changed in todays world of dating.

You may not like communicating this way, but for now, it’s just something we all have to deal with. Meeting someone in todays time is NOT an impossible task!

It’s just how you go about it. And the way you do that is by being respectable towards the other person (even online)!

3) SETTING UP IN PERSON 1ST DATE TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER.

how can i find someone for me
A ‘getting to know you better’ lunch.

Once you’re both feeling comfortable and safe with each other, a good first meeting at a restaurant or some other place you both agree on would be nice.

Many more good things can come out of a meeting like this. You can really find out more about the ‘compatibility factor’ among yourselves.

There’s much information you can uncover about a person in a relaxed restaurant environment. (One thing you’ll find out right away is what one of their favorite foods are).

4) DON’T LET FEAR OF COMMITMENT STOP YOU FROM GETTING CLOSE.

how can i find someone for me?
Couple finally having ‘face to face’ meeting.

After much texting, calls and safe ‘in person’ meetings you feel you know this person very well. (Maybe he or she is the one). Maybe it’s time!

You’ve been single long enough. It’s been 3 years now and a spouse would be nice.

But of course along with commitment comes ‘Trust.’ (This is so important in any relationship).

TRUST & COMMITMENT

How Can I Find Someone For  Me?
They have to figure out how to make their relationship better.

We know ‘trust & commitment’ go ‘hand-in-hand,’ but lets take the word ‘commitment!’

Just this one word alone will have most folks shaking in their boots and having second thoughts!

Some start regretting they even uttered that mere word! (Just a ‘slip-of-the-tongue, perhaps?)’

Whatever the reason, it’s now registered in the other person’s memory bank! But if you feel at the moment you’re not ready, then don’t lead the other person on with high, false expectations.

THIS GUY IS AFRAID OF COMMITMENT  

How Can I Find Someone For  Me?
Dude having second thoughts on getting hitched.

Thinking about giving up those exciting flings and nights of partying before taking the final plunge?

Deep inside you know you don’t want to.

The mere thought gets you a little shaky and you harbor second thoughts!

You feel sick as hell thinking about all those ‘big booties’ you have to give up!

You want to keep on meeting those of the opposite sex and all the thrills that come along with it. But committing yourself can be a trying experience!

You also understand that sometime dating can be very awkward. Asking someone out could be nerve wrecking! So how can you tell if he or she is interested in you?

The anticipation of a long romantic affair with that special someone goes through your mind. The image you hold is long-term.

You don’t even care about how much money they make or material things they possess, or his or her background (This goes to show how desperate you are!).

But finding a mate doesn’t have to be out of desperation. It’s just experiencing ‘that feeling’. This is a feeling that will make you shout, “I think I’ve found me a compatible mate”.

So you really think you’re ready to deal with the real world? See video…

DO CAREER REALLY MATTER?

How Can I Find Someone For Me?
This old dude loves young, hot nurses!

I know there our many folks out in the dating arena that are only concerned about the other’s job status. They strictly look for the Big Money!

Give them any dude with Big Bucks! Those making a lot of money in their chosen profession; such as doctors, lawyers, and auto mechanics (lol)! Loving persons wallet instead of the person themselves, is common practice now-a-day.

(‘Artificial’ love at its best!)

A serious true love seeker shouldn’t care about status. The type of occupation they have really doesn’t matter to you.

They can be a computer geek repairing the main frame in laptops, bagging groceries at the local market or a part-time hair dresser, it shouldn’t matter.

Some may just work online, struggling to make a few bucks doing affiliate marketing. Then again, they may not work at all! (It makes them break out into a ‘cold sweat’ just thinking about going to job interviews. (This applies to either sex. They’re just ‘lazy ass’ people).

A BIG-TIME LAZY DRINKER

how can I find someone for me?
Hey! Sittin’, Scratchin’ & Fartin’ is what I do best.

I feel sorry for some ladies out there. They end up stuck with guys like this (Of course, they don’t have to, but it’s their choice. They keep them around for some reason).

Once they get you hooked, your potential love changes (This could apply to both sexes, but for now we’ll use this dude.)

You know ladies, some guys take great pride in being plain lazy.

They are tired by the end of the day just from working the video console on the Xbox.!

Who wants some guy lying around the house all day smelly, drinking beer, eating fish & chips and playing video games on their Xbox?

You may really find yourself in that situation. After working two jobs, you come home one evening to discover this person with their feet up and playing video games. As a guy, you better get your act together if you want to stay on her good side and out of the doghouse.

Remember now, you have to give him credit; he did bathe earlier. So with him stopping his video game long enough to shower, is a BIG Accomplishment!

But strangely for some unknown reason, He Still Stink! But all in all, romance is in the air. (Mr. stinky wants loving too!)  Romance is here, there – It’s everywhere!

OUR ‘FURRY FRIENDS’ NEED LOVE TOO.

(Meow! Meow!)

How Can I Find Someone For Me?
“Hey mama, it’s the biggest one I could find!”

How many times have you seen animals (Maybe your own), snuggled together? Or in some cases, stuck together. ass to ass! LOL.

Now you got a bunch of little puppies to deal with. (All because you didn’t get your pet neutered.)

I mention this just to show animals need loving too! They need a connection with other animals.

Human connection is the same thing. We all need that feel, that touch, those soft words spoken.

These are just a few of the things you think about. Things you may or may not have to deal with.

Yet, If you’re thinking about taking things to the next level, before any preparations can be taken toward the ritual of marriage, the proper choice of a mate must take place. This is where you have to be careful!!

IMAGINE THIS SCENARIO…

Suppose one night you’re watching your favorite crime program, “America’s Most Wanted or 48 hours.” The woman or man you’ve been dating for the past three years suddenly appear on the show’s ’10 Most Wanted list.’ Now what do you do?

Do you:

A) Jump on your cell phone and text all your friends, that your love was on the tube.

B) Confront him or her and let them know that you know about their past, secret life.

C) Get the hell out of there as fast as you can!!! (They are wanted for double murder in three states)!

TAKE A RETROSPECTIVE TOUR OVER PAST RELATIONSHIPS.

(you’ve found yourself doing a lot of that lately). Your mind starts to wonder;

“Were those encounters fruitless or rewarding? Or would my time had been better spent sitting home masturbating?

“Was the failure due to something I may have done, said or failed to do?” I don’t know.

“Was the relationship timely?” (Sometimes when we force the game to go in our favor, things never seem to turn out right).

Maybe different time sets played a role with you being a modern 21st century individual, dealing with the current things in life, and your potential soulmate stuck in the 60’s. (Trying to play catch-up)!

Staying current regarding the latest developments of life will somewhat keep you ahead in the dating game.

Like a well traveled sailor, at least be up on the current events of the world.

GETTING UP THE NERVE

How can I find someone for me?
Pretty woman relaxing by walking along the coast.

Say for example, you’re a guy and you spot a pretty woman while out. You’re near the beach. Once noticing her, you spend a good amount of time thinking what to say.

It takes you awhile to get up the nerve to approach her because due to numerous past rejections, you haven’t been feeling too good about yourself.

Next, you start thinking of every excuse about what could go wrong. “She’s too gorgeous for me.”

I don’t stand a chance.” “Maybe that’s really not a woman. If she show interest in me, then I know something is up.”

Now remember, this scenario could easily been set for men or women. The biggest difference would’ve been that a woman may not have been so aggressive (But they are out there!)

Now after using the tools here and following what’s offered to you, it’s full steam ahead!

You’ll walk with pride. Head held high.  Radiate more confidence. Your game plan is well into place! You’re ready to go out into the world because this is the only way folks find their soul mate in life!

So guys & girls, don’t spend anymore weekend night’s alone staring at your cell phone waiting for a text message or wishing it would ring.

“Get out there and mingle with the folks!”

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Ron’s Final Thought On The Reality Of Love

how-dating-games-of-life-are-played image

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Published by

Ronald Kennedy

A relationship expert handling any issue, Ron say's "No problem is too big or small." (My door is always open!) Also Ron is a comedy writer, (Wrote a book entitled, "How To Select a Compatible Mate.") A cartoonist and oil painter who studied at the Art institute of Chicago in 1980, Ron later decided to take a different career path. In 1997, he attended Harold Washington College and majored in hearing disabilities around the globe. (Go to https://babydosign.com and read some very interesting articles regarding children with hearing disabilities.) Ron's been working successfully online since 2004 and enjoyed helping others succeed along the way! Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.

333 thoughts on “How Can I Find Someone For Me – 4 Major Steps To Follow.”

  1. This post as just really change me in a bit, have always been trying to be in a relationship for a while and its as always end in one heart break or the other, then I decided to stay of relationship and focus on my career, but it’s been a lonely road all the while, reading this makes me see the error of my ways with past relationships and what to improve on. Thanks a lot.

    1. Yes Williams, I think we all experienced one or two broken hearts in our lives. Sometimes, the dating and relationship cycle gets a little crazy and wild. And after the craziness settles down, when then realize “How the hell did I end up with this crazy ass person!?”

  2. “Loving a persons wallet instead of the person themselves is not true love” You could not have said it better.  So many people these days think this way and it is actually a very sad thing.  There are so many things to consider when selecting a compatible mate.  This is a really in-depth explanation of considerations.  I think most people looking for information on this topic will find this page helpful.

    1. Putting anything else in front of pure love, like I said is just artificial. Most women look at cars, jewelry and other things before they really get to know you for yourself. It’s frustrating not knowing where you really stand and where her heart is.

  3. This is some really nice write up, i mean what cracked me up here was the commitment part its so difficult for most to just decide to be with one person, its like being stuff with something that he knows he will get tired of, and yes some ladies also do not fancy commitment but well yeah to be together in a relationship, trust and commitment is required. I learnt a lot from this. Thank you

    1. Thank you Dorinda for stopping by. Being committed in a relationship, I guess is hard for many not being serious from the start. Regarding both sexes, folks are not satisfied with one person; they just like to ‘play the field.’

  4. What an interesting topic! I have to say that I agree with all your suggestions. I am married for 6 years and while reading your post, it made me giggle that really? Did I went through all those process? Lol but hey, dating and find your significant other is just like anything in life. You have to know yourself what you want in the other person, what is unacceptable to you as long as you it is all about the numbers game and just don’t give up on finding that person. 

    1. The dating game is like a ‘big box of assorted chocolates’…you never know what you gonna got! It’s so many phony folks out here; pretending to be something their not. But hey, like you say, ‘don’t give up’.

  5. You are extremely detailed I have to say. There is a lot that can really affect your relationship. Learning a few more secrets couldn’t hurt though.

    Confidence is key as they say and is definitely a key in the beginning for sure. Some things will surprise you.

    Thanks for the lovely article it is great.

    1. Thanks for reading Christian. The dating game can really ‘screw you up’ if you think you’ve found what you want, and you just settle. Big mistake! If you don’t get that ‘good feeling’, then your loss. Take your time!

  6. Being able to properly approach the opposite sex is crucial as this helps a lot in keeping the relationship firm. I think building a strong relationship first is more important than longing for sex. Building a sexual relationship alone isn’t the right way to determine if they will stay compatible or get married at last.

    Men should mind what they say when approaching their ladies lest things start falling apart. Also, it’s good to know a lot about each other before proceeding to get married or stay together as a couple. It’s important to have similar interests and dreams.

    1. And Lily don’t forget honesty. Honesty is the foundation of a strong relationship. If trust & honesty, starts going  ‘lopsided’ then a couple has nothing to stand on, to keep things going. It all begins there.  

  7. I don’t have a special someone right now but what you said here is actually true. I believed that through honesty and commitment to your partner, you can find a long-lasting relationship. You see when in dating, I tend to show my utmost motive on dating. I avoid giving mixed signals and I just show what my intentions really are. Will do this in the future.

    1. Finding that special someone do take time, my friend. You will get that ‘right feeling’ when you know you got the right one. But when you find her, you wanna treat her right. Treat her like the ‘special lady’ she is.

  8. This I should state is a fascinating article, Though dating has never been simpler, disappointments with it have never been more vocal and discovering love has never appeared to be more misleading, We are living in occasions where the effect, perceivability and saw significance of the youthful are huge. I am cheerful I went over this post and I’m wanting for additional from you.

    1. Thank you my friend for reading. Glad you enjoyed it. True love sometime is hard to find now-a-days. Many are looking past your personality, but only for what you can do for them. It’s all about material things. TECH, If you looking to see more of my articles, go to https://lovefolks.com

  9. Hi there!  Such an amazing review! I must commend your good work, I learnt alot from this wonderful piece. Thanks slot for taking time to share this detailed and informative review!  Because I now know the things to take into consideration before dating and the approaches too. Thanks again. This was very helpful. 

    1. Virtue, thank you for the compliment. I’m glad you found some value in it. I do hope you heed the advice I’ve written here, and it will help you when you venture out. The dating game isn’t that difficult; its just how it’s played.

  10. Thank you for uploading this. This is something I wished I had come across late in my teenage years. The content is of quality and very engaging (especially the pet getting neutered) lol. Keep producing great work as many people are struggling in the dating world, your website will help someone find love

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed my article. People have been playing the dating games for years. Back in the day, folks was just as wild as they are today. Just today, everyone seem more slicker. (Same shit…different day!)

  11. Hello, There is a huge breakdown of engagement in young couples today, They have no idea what it takes to keep a relationship healthy, stay committed, It seems that they have a slight disagreement and oh well lets call it quits. Every relationship has its ups and downs but after getting through it together you start building history.

    I have very little time for laziness and self-motivation is something that not many seem to possess now. 

    The old journey through life aye…Times have changed

    1. Some folks get together and marry for reasons other than pure love. Many cases it’s just material things. As you mentioned about breakdowns, I feel these occur when there’s no compatibility whatsoever from the start. Again, they’re together for other reasons.

  12. This was a very entertaining read. I love the humor in your article and the comic relief that you provided. I have been in a relationship for over twenty years now, and I can’t even imagine myself having to get out there on the dating scene. I would rather curl up and die.

    But you are right, it is all about your confidence levels. It takes guts to get out there and take the plunge of meeting new people, which is as you say very difficult at the moment. This is probably why online dating has become so popular, as you don’t need to put yourself out there unless you really want to. But this does nothing unfortunately when it comes to building up our communication skills out there, as online is just too easy.

    1. Thank you for the compliment, Michel. “Curl up and die!?” LOL. It’s hard to meet decent folks out there, but it’s not that bad! Tom Hanks line in that movie was ‘spot on’ when he said, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get!” (That’s the whole dating game ‘in a nut shell.’) Please share my post.

  13. Hi. This has been a long joyful read full of advice. Thank you for that. Dating can be fun and confusing at the same time if either partner is not clear of what they want out of it.

    I’m in total agreement with self-confidence in the dating matter. The lack of it will get you nowhere. As you have rightly said, it is through learning, practicing, and continuous action which will shine some lights on your journey in the dating world.

    Thanks again for all this great advice.

    1. Carol, the dating game can be a roller coaster of emotions radiating through our longing minds and bodies. Rather good or bad, we just have to try to handle whatever come our way. They’re some good people out there, we just have to give them the chance.

  14. Thanks for bringing us this great post.

    I am just out of a long-term relationship and at present couldn’t even consider being with anyone else, but at the same time I am terribly lonely.  I therefore agree that it all starts and probably ends with the head.  You have to get your mindset right before you will get the confidence needed to move on.

    1. Sorry my friend Geoff on your long-term breakup. I know it’s rough. Most of us good guys do go through tough breakups. But never fear! Cheer up. I’ve been there too, but started reading some great material overcome my situation. (My wife died almost six years ago.) Check this out Geoff. I was able to gain self-confidence, build assertiveness and self-esteem by reading ‘the confident man program.’ Geoff, check it out.

  15. Lacking of understanding of those two words (trust and commitment) is the reason for break down in so many relationships. Many folks out there want companionship but are not ready for commitment and trust. If we must go after a long time relationship like we always desire. The elements of commitment and trust must be put in place 

    1. Understanding is ‘key’ to make a strong relationship. Both parties must be chugging down the same track to be successful. It won’t work any other way! It takes ‘two to tangle.’ 

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