Updated: January 21, 2022
Involvement Among Couples Should Be Taken Seriously.
MEN. WOMEN. LOVE. MARRIAGE.
It’s not and never has been a perfect world regarding dating. You ask yourself, “How can I find someone for me?”
I’ll tell you how and the things to look for. First, you don’t want anybody just for the sake of having a companion or mate.
(Hell. In that case get a dog!)
IT ALL BEGINS WITH ‘PERSONALITY’ FOCUS.
Your search should clearly focus on the other person’s personality. It would be great to find someone that has something in common with you. That’ll come over time once you slowly get to know the person.
Remember, that’s when you’re the most relaxed, the most satisfied. Knowing you have someone you can talk about things with.
But just getting over the first challenge has to be tough. With everyone ‘masking up’ today and not wanting to get close. But it can be done!
IF YOU CAN’T MEET IN PERSON, TALK FIRST ONLINE.
As far as looks are concerned, the way it is now you’ll look at a person and ask yourself, “Just how ugly is that person behind the mask?”
You can really get a good feel for a person through ‘face-time.’ No need to worry about fakes because you know who you’re talking to already.
You’ve already met. Now you can start getting to know each other better through video. Keep in mind, things have changed in todays world of dating. You may not like communicating this way, but for now, it’s just something we all have to deal with. Meeting someone in todays time is NOT an impossible task!
It’s just how you go about it. And the way you do that is by being respectable towards the other person (even online)!
SETTING UP IN PERSON 1ST DATE TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER.
Once you’re both feeling comfortable and safe with each other, a good first meeting at a restaurant or some other place you both agree on would be nice.
Many more good things can come out of a meeting like this. You can really find out more about the ‘compatibility factor’ among yourselves.
There’s much information you can uncover about a person in a relaxed restaurant environment. (One thing you’ll find out right away is what one of their favorite foods are).
OVER TIME, DO YOU FEEL YOU’LL COMMIT?
After much texting, calls and safe ‘in person’ meetings you feel you know this person very well. (Maybe he or she is the one). Maybe it’s time!
You’ve been single long enough. It’s been 3 years now and a spouse would be nice.
But of course along with commitment comes ‘Trust.’ (This is so important in any relationship).
TRUST & COMMITMENT
We know ‘trust & commitment’ go ‘hand-in-hand,’ but lets take the word ‘commitment!’
Just this one word alone will have most folks shaking in their boots and having second thoughts!
Some start regretting they even uttered that mere word! (Just a ‘slip-of-the-tongue, perhaps?)’
Whatever the reason, it’s now registered in the other person’s memory bank! But if you feel at the moment you’re not ready, then don’t lead the other person on with high, false expectations.
THIS GUY IS AFRAID OF COMMITMENT
Thinking about giving up those exciting flings and nights of partying before taking the final plunge?
Deep inside you know you don’t want to.
The mere thought gets you a little shaky and you harbor second thoughts!
You feel sick as hell thinking about all those ‘big booties’ you have to give up!
You want to keep on meeting those of the opposite sex and all the thrills that come along with it. But committing yourself can be a trying experience!
You also understand that sometime dating can be very awkward. Asking someone out could be nerve wrecking! So how can you tell if he or she is interested in you?
The anticipation of a long romantic affair with that special someone goes through your mind. The image you hold is long-term.
You don’t even care about how much money they make or material things they possess, or his or her background (This goes to show how desperate you are!).
But finding a mate doesn’t have to be out of desperation. It’s just experiencing ‘that feeling’. This is a feeling that will make you shout, “I think I’ve found me a compatible mate”.
So you really think you’re ready to deal with the real world? See video…
DO CAREER REALLY MATTER?
I know there our many folks out in the dating arena that are only concerned about the other’s job status. They strictly look for the Big Money!
Give them any dude with Big Bucks! Those making a lot of money in their chosen profession; such as doctors, lawyers, and auto mechanics (lol)! Loving persons wallet instead of the person themselves, is common practice now-a-day.
(‘Artificial’ love at its best!)
A serious true love seeker shouldn’t care about status. The type of occupation they have really doesn’t matter to you.
They can be a computer geek repairing the main frame in laptops, bagging groceries at the local market or a part-time hair dresser, it shouldn’t matter.
Some may just work online, struggling to make a few bucks doing affiliate marketing. Then again, they may not work at all! (It makes them break out into a ‘cold sweat’ just thinking about going to job interviews. (This applies to either sex. They’re just ‘lazy ass’ people).
A BIG-TIME LAZY DRINKER
I feel sorry for some ladies out there. They end up stuck with guys like this (Of course, they don’t have to, but it’s their choice. They keep them around for some reason).
Once they get you hooked, your potential love changes (This could apply to both sexes, but for now we’ll use this dude.)
You know ladies, some guys take great pride in being plain lazy.
They are tired by the end of the day just from working the video console on the Xbox.!
Who wants some guy lying around the house all day smelly, drinking beer, eating fish & chips and playing video games on their Xbox?
You may really find yourself in that situation. After working two jobs, you come home one evening to discover this person with their feet up and playing video games.
Remember now, you have to give him credit; he did bathe earlier. So with him stopping his video game long enough to shower, is a BIG Accomplishment!
But strangely for some unknown reason, He Still Stink! But all in all, romance is in the air. (Mr. stinky wants a loving relationship too!) Romance is here, there – It’s everywhere!
OUR ‘FURRY FRIENDS’ NEED LOVE TOO.
How many times have you seen animals (Maybe your own), snuggled together? Or in some cases, stuck together. ass to ass! LOL.
Now you got a bunch of little puppies to deal with. (All because you didn’t get your pet neutered.)
I mention this just to show animals need loving too! They need a connection with other animals.
Human connection is the same thing. We all need that feel, that touch, those soft words spoken.
These are just a few of the things you think about. Things you may or may not have to deal with. Yet, If you’re thinking about taking things to the next level, before any preparations can be taken toward the ritual of marriage, the proper choice of a mate must take place. This is where you have to be careful!!
IMAGINE THIS SCENARIO…
Suppose one night you’re watching your favorite crime program, “America’s Most Wanted or 48 hours.” The woman or man you’ve been dating for the past three years suddenly appear on the show’s ’10 Most Wanted list.’ Now what do you do?
A) Jump on your cell phone and text all your friends, that your love was on the tube.
B) Confront him or her and let them know that you know about their past, secret life.
C) Get the hell out of there as fast as you can!!! (They are wanted for double murder in three states)!
TAKE A RETROSPECTIVE TOUR OVER PAST RELATIONSHIPS.
(you’ve found yourself doing a lot of that lately). Your mind starts to wonder;
“Were those encounters fruitless or rewarding? Or would my time had been better spent sitting home masturbating?
“Was the failure due to something I may have done, said or failed to do?” I don’t know.
“Was the relationship timely?” (Sometimes when we force the game to go in our favor, things never seem to turn out right).
Maybe different time sets played a role with you being a modern 21st century individual, dealing with the current things in life, and your potential soulmate stuck in the 60’s. (Trying to play catch-up)!
Staying current regarding the latest developments of life will somewhat keep you ahead in the dating game.
Like a well traveled sailor, at least be up on the current events of the world.
GETTING UP THE NERVE
Say for example, you’re a guy and you spot a pretty woman while out. You’re near the beach. Once noticing her, you spend a good amount of time thinking what to say.
It takes you awhile to get up the nerve to approach her because due to numerous past rejections, you haven’t been feeling too good about yourself.
Next, you start thinking of every excuse about what could go wrong. “She’s too gorgeous for me.”
I don’t stand a chance.” “Maybe that’s really not a woman. If she show interest in me, then I know something is up.”
Now remember, this scenario could easily been set for men or women. The biggest difference would’ve been that a woman may not have been so aggressive (But they are out there!)
Now after using the tools here and following what’s offered to you, it’s full steam ahead!
You’ll walk with pride. Head held high. Radiate more confidence. Your game plan is well into place! You’re ready to go out into the world because this is the only way folks find their soul mate in life!
So guys & girls, don’t spend anymore weekend night’s alone staring at your cell phone waiting for a text message or wishing it would ring.
WAITING FOR THAT INVITATION
Your friends will call wanting you to hang out with them, but you know it’s only because they need someone hold the camera and take the group photos.
Or someone to sit, watch the purses & drinks while they dance.
Hell! You want a mate! A good male companion. Someone you can call a friend! (You know you have to become friends first before ‘lovers’).
Keep in mind that if you are seriously hunting for that special someone, then you need to know everything you can about your prey.
Make your best shot count! Bag the best mate you can!! Remember, with a well thought out plan of action, any man or woman can be yours.
TEN BASIC APPROACHES & BEHAVIORAL ACTIONS FOR SINGLES…
First – As far as age goes, remember age isn’t nothing but a number.’ You can still approach a sexy hot single regardless of what your age is. (of course, you don’t want to approach someone too young. Then you’ll come across as a ‘dirty ol’ man or woman.’)lol. Just use common sense.
I’m an older guy myself, but love to date younger women. Also, never let nationality get in the way or the country they’re from. Lots of guys miss out on the possibility of scoring a winner thinking one-sided.
They’re only into their own kind. Big Mistake! (There are beautiful types of women in all races out there.)
Open up! Give yourself a chance. But if you’re an ‘older guy’ dealing with a ‘much younger attractive woman,’ most likely there’s always going to be a big effort of keeping her happy and not piss her off.
This can lead to additional problems like “how you can stay on her good side & out of the doghouse!” and continue dealing in a content and peaceful relationship. Now this is where communication is so important.
Second – People, understand that most folks love humor. They like a person that makes them laugh. You don’t have to be another Kevin Hart or Eddie Murphy, but if you feel that you want to joke around, go ahead and make them laugh. Just don’t be offensive!
I used this approach on a pretty girl I met while out buying dog and cat food. She was laughing at mostly everything I said, but unfortunately she was already in a relationship. (Hey…can’t win ’em all).
Third – Make conversation related to what ever you’re doing at the moment. Grocery shopping? Then ask her about the freshest fruit to buy, how to make a good salad or how high the store’s prices are.
A woman out shopping makes eye contact. Then will ask a guy if he can reach something on a higher shelf for her. (It’s ok for the woman to be the aggressor sometime,) If you’re out walking your dog, you can meet many singles out doing the same as well.
“Be creative, friendly and smile a lot!”
Fourth – Don’t be intimidated by a woman or guys outer beauty. (Inner beauty is what counts most). For example, guy’s think when they see a fine woman, she won’t speak or have time for them.
You’ll be surprised to find out that this woman is just as lonely as you. Maybe she’s tall or too good-looking, by most standards. She think her gorgeous looks & height are a ‘hinder’ instead of a ‘helper’ that is keeping guys at bay.
(I just give ‘a guy perspective’ because I’m a guy. But this touches both sexes).
Fifth – Just be yourself and have confidence. This is strongly recommended for the serious single guy, trying to get it together.
Six – GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT: Fix your mental framework regarding sound relationships; replace antique nonsense with state-of-art insights; develop confidence, understand the opposite sex point of views, and clarify your mating ethics and mating goals.
Seven – DEVELOP ATTRACTIVE TRAITS: Understand what they want and why, and then give it to them by cultivating the key traits of physical health, mental health, intelligence, willpower, tenderness, and protectiveness.
Eight – DISPLAY ATTRACTIVE PROOFS: Understand the signaling principles that underlie honest, hard-to-fake proofs of value, and construct your personal, professional, social, and romantic life around building and displaying those proofs.
Nine – GO WHERE THE PEOPLE ARE: Understanding how the mating markets work, given the supply and demand of men and women; how to find that person who offer the highest value and the best compatibility, given your tastes and goals; and how to meet those people in specific places, from local leisure clubs to online dating apps.
Ten – TAKE ACTION: Understand how to talk. Date them, have great sex with them (When the time is right), and learn from your experiences toward building a positive feedback cycle of personal improvement, and a sound relationship. All of which will help you create and execute your mating plan.
These 10 steps are simple to understand,… but they’re not always easy to accomplish. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you bullshit!
Try not to portray someone you’re not. You’ll go along ways just by being honest because you don’t want something later, to come back and bite you in the ass.
(REMEMBER: You never know what day, time or place that special someone may come along).
BUILD YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE
CONFIDENCE REFLECTS COMPETENCE
This is the concern of most struggling, single people. Whether it’s about approaching a woman in a club asking for a dance, dating them or getting intimate.
Don’t think confidence is some kind of modern phenomenon through, just because people today don’t shut up about it. Confidence has been a thing for a long time.
In fact, confidence is part of your genetic makeup which evolved over thousands of generations as a mental tool to guide our decision-making.
A confident guy expects the woman to engage him in conversation when he goes up to say hi and introduce himself.
He expects her to give him her number when he ask for it or to dance at the club.
He doesn’t think he deserves it or she owes it to him (unless he is also an entitled douche bag, which is entirely possible) – he just expects that he’s going to get it, even before he says a word. Why?
Because he’s done this dozens if not hundreds of times, with enough success to accurately predict the likely outcome.
How can you realistically judge the likelihood of your success in a unique moment like that – or in any domain of life?
For those still not confident enough, it all feels like a terrifyingly uncertain nightmare, and as a result, you worry about practically everything.
“What do I say?” “What do I do?” “Where do I take her?” “What if she doesn’t like me?” “What if she says no?”
“What if I’m not good at all?” “What if I throw up on her after too many shots?” What if, what if, what if….
Fortunately, in the last twenty years researchers have gained a lot of new insights into the origins and nature of confidence, and they allow us finally, to explain exactly what it is:
“Confidence is the realistic expectation you have of being successful at something, given (a) your competence at it and (b) the risk involved with doing it.”
CONFIDENCE STARTS IN YOUR HEAD.
Your brain does it by unconsciously integrating a bunch of data from your memory and your current states.
It adds up your past training, experiences, and successes, plus your present capabilities, to guide your decisions.
Your brain is like a mushy three-pound sports book between your ears, setting the line and shifting the odds on to your immediate future.
The most annoying thing about confidence, though, is that 90% of the time it’s dormant (or at least, it should be).
It should only become an issue when you’re actively facing a risky challenge, not when you’re eating dinner or sitting at home trying to chose between watching football or Netflix.
“Go after what you want in confidence! Your compatible mate is out there waiting”
This means learning, practicing and then consistently performing under real-life conditions with real stakes, when people are watching.
“Once you do that, confidence and established skill-sets are almost automatic.”
“EVERYTHING STARTS WITH A SUCCESSFUL PLANNING PROCESS!”
So in conclusion, regardless if you’re a man or woman, you may not always come out on top every time playing dating games.
Things have seriously changed within our world now, in regards to seeking love and relationships.
In these difficult times we live in, it’s very hard, as a single man or woman to meet ANYONE else looking. (Not Easy In Today’s Times!)
No one wants you in their face, spreading germs. Better have that face covering on!
Picture yourself one afternoon relaxing alone on the beach, with a mask on, trying to yell at a pretty woman standing on the other side. You shout in a loud voice, “Hey pretty lady? You come here often!?” Muffled through a mask. (‘Good luck with that shit!’)LOL!
There are plenty of good people out here, but you can’t get to know them when you have to stay ‘isolated’ & ‘six feet’ apart.
DATING APP USAGE ON THE RISE
2020 is a year we will all never forget, starting with covid 19 in February! Also, look at all the marches that went on condemning racial injustice & police brutality in mid summer. Regardless of what part of the country you lived in, you saw some form of this going on.
It’s just Not enough LOVE in the world today! Just not only on a personal level, but global as well. 2020 will go down in the history books as ‘The Year Of ‘Pure Hell!’
Besides putting us in a bad economic and health crises, It also has ‘hindered’ our search for a compatible mate. (If you’re married, you can just ignore this section…unless you plan on cheating.)
I’m targeting ONLY singles now! Currently, online dating is ‘HOT’ & increasing in popularity. During past years, this style of meeting people for dating or possibly marriage has taken a ‘bad hit.’ No one wanted to explore this route. But not anymore!
Research has shown that 38% of US adults, 30 to 49, have used an online dating service and even lower for 50 and older. and 16% have found a committed relationship from its use.
So if you are seriously searching for a mate who’s wanting the same thing as you, someone to fulfill that empty void in your life, regardless if you’re Christian or not; then here’s the best one I recommend. Check this out:
“Oh, and by the way before you leave, please visit my home page for more exciting articles regarding Love & Relationships!”
Ron’s Final Thought On The Reality Of Love
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