All posts by Ronald Kennedy

About Ronald Kennedy

A relationship expert handling any issue, Ron say's "No problem is too big or small." (My door is always open!) Also Ron is a comedy writer, (Wrote a book entitled, "How To Select a Compatible Mate.") A cartoonist and oil painter who studied at the Art institute of Chicago in 1980, Ron later decided to take a different career path. In 1997, he attended Harold Washington College and majored in hearing disabilities around the globe. (Go to https://babydosign.com and read some very interesting articles regarding children with hearing disabilities.) Ron's been working successfully online since 2004 and enjoyed helping others succeed along the way! Follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.

How To Love A Male Nurse – “Just Call Me Sweetness”

 

How To Love A Male Nurse - "Just Call Me Sweetness"

LIFE CAN BE SO SWEET (AT LEAST, SOMETIME!)

By Ronald Kennedy

Last Update: November 6, 2024

 

A confused life can leave you not knowing which way to go!

Anyway you look at it, this guy has been confused most his life! He still like the dating scene and love to get out and mingle.

Early in his life he realized he had a little ‘sugar in his tank,’ and had a hard time knowing what direction to take.

How loving this male nurse will take the worry about being close. (What you see, is what you get)!

He loves his job at the medical center and the daily assignments of giving ‘Ass Shots’ all day.

He never grew an interest for the female species and for some reason, felt more comfortable around a bunch of guys. How to love a male nurse, is what he’s hoping that’s on the minds of others.

This would cross his mind. “Is this normal?” “Is something wrong with me?” “Why do I feel this close of an affection for other guys?”

But a dude like this never think too hard on it, but if it feels right, then who the hell else should complain?

My friend, below is one of 16 wacky profiles for your entertainment. Enjoy!

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The Male Nurse

How To Love A Male Nurse - "Just Call Him Sweetness"

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 21 to 39, Height: 5’7″ to 6’5,” Weight: Sweet

OCCUPATION – You may find this type employed as a medical technician, the head nurse at your local medical center, a physical therapist or the person that does your hair every Thursday evening.

FAVORITE FOODS – Over at his place, being prepared to chow down on Silk Bean soups with stale oyster crackers, tossed bamboo leaves with Mayo, Silk almond milk & coffee.

For dessert at midnight, he’ll offer you warm Twinkies, Coca Cola and last weeks Danish rolls.

FAVORITE DRINKS – Tutti-frutti on the rocks, salty cafeteria coffee & ‘Sweet & Low’, and his favorite: chocolate goats milk!

FAVORITE MUSIC – He’ll have you sitting up all night, listening to the old sounds of ‘The Village People’, Boy George and Lil Nas X (They all came out long time ago).

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – ‘Ru Paul Drag Queens a GO GO’, ‘BrokeBack Mountain’, ‘Victor Victoria’, & ‘Three Men & A Baby.’

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – He breaks the boredom at work by playing Musical Bedpans with his buddies.

He would ‘power walk’ around the facility during lunch, but stopped! (Since he hurt his lower back from all that damn switching.)

Also, he’ll consider this a great hobby when he can assist doctors checking dudes for hernias (turn your head & cough)!

TYPE OF CAR – He goes for the smallest set of wheels money can buy. (Any style small & tight enough where he can wiggle his buns into)

TURN-ON’S – Leather underwear, skin-tight jeans and any men’s body building events.

TURN-OFF’S – Horny, rough OTR truck drivers, U.S. Army sergeants with rough hands that scream a lot, social diseases. and big muscle- bound dudes messing with him on the beach.

LAST BOOK- “An American Dilemma – Herpes & the toilet Seat” by Dr. YoAss Is-tight, M.D. from Sweden

SECRET FANTASY – To work the night shift in an all male staffed hospital.

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Libra

How To Love A Male Nurse - Ron's Zodiac Sign

PERSONALITY – Sensitive with a good heart, warm, and understanding, he could end up being the best friend you could have.

He’s trust-worthy enough to confide in and will not double-cross you (Especially if he knows he’ll get his ass kicked!)

His generous nature and love for life make him truly unique among other men.

IDEAL WOMAN – NONE!!

WHERE TO MEET – Your local gay parades, Emergency rooms, LGBT group meetings, hospital cafeteria and at the ‘Boys night out for Karaoke’ event.

GOAL – To find the perfect, ‘Hot’ stud dressed in leather and move to a remote island.

RATING – 0…More than likely, he’s Not for you! But he can become your best friend. He’ll make a good shopping companion. Just think, when it comes down to making decisions on color coordination regarding clothes & style, he’s the one to talk with.

His burlesque behavior could become quite a very trying experience. Should you ever chance it and take him home one day, Be Careful!!…(He may fall in love with your brother)!

__________________________________________________

FYI:

Here’s something interesting! Read more here about Ron, the author. Learn more about the author’s life by going here: https://lovefolks.com/what-is-love-guide-for-the-sexes-authors-introduction/

Are You A Superjock? Profile of A Sports Nut!

Latest Update: November 14, 2024

By Ronald Kennedy

 

Some Dudes Just Go Overboard!

Most men love sports! Some dream about going one-on-one with Michael Jordan (back in the day) or LeBron James now. Many get carried away and let sports consume their lives.

Even out on a date, they can’t get enough talking about their favorite teams. No matter if it’s soccer, tennis, football, basketball, etc; he’ll talk you ear off. Talking sports, he figure love conquers all. Woman love the athletic type!

You may get bored as hell, (unless you’re a sports fanatic and can talk sports non-stop). You want to exit as soon as possible!

That’s why a type like this can’t seem to hold a normal decent woman. A night out would be playing ‘Air Hockey’ until mid-night. (And if your days are Free, then Soccer it will Be)!

Are You A Super jock? This dude’s Profile of A Sports Nut is one-of-a-kind.

Here’s is a character profile of ‘The Sports Nut’ and what this guy is all about:

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THE SPORTS NUT

Are You A Superjock? Profile of A Sports Nut!

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 19 to 39, Height: 5′ 10″, Weight: Competitive.

OCCUPATION – He’ll most likely be a little league softball or football coach, a water boy on the Special Olympic team, or the VP of operation team management, who’s always trying to figure out how to ‘beat the system.’

FAVORITE FOODS – You better be equip with a ‘cast iron stomach’ and a ‘athletic mind.’ He can’t wait to see your reactions as you wolf down a Super-sized wolf burger and muscle fries. (That order come with a side order of ‘lizard soup’). Enjoy!

FAVORITE DRINKS – When you’re over, he’ll pull out his blender and mix up his special blend of health minerals, goat eggs and chopped turkey skin.

Constantly digesting his mixture of special ingredients, it will have you in the bathroom shittin’ every 30 minutes; but at the same time, increasing your interest in the latest literature offered as you rest.
FAVORITE MUSIC – Top of his playlist: “We Are The Champions” – Queen

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – He flashes a Big Smile while viewing women’s championship volleyball tournaments on TV.

Those big breasted players are a sight to behold; (bouncing and jiggling after every serve.)

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – He loves all sports, but can’t play any that well. (In college, he tried football and broke his leg in three places. OUCH!!)

TYPE OF CAR – Any old Ford or utility pickup truck (Running or not.) He’ll sell the parts and buy some sports memorabilia.

 LAST BOOK- “How To Relieve Jock Itch Through Acupuncture” by Dr. Kcratch Thimbals from the Netherlands.

TURN-ON’S – Seeing someone score a ‘buzzard beating’ game-winning shot, dating an underage cheerleader, and being a judge at the World Famous Teenage Beauty Pageant.

TURN-OFF’S – Women that hates sports, don’t watch them and carry No interest in them what-so-ever.

SECRET FANTASY – To have hot, passionate, all-night sex with a 6’6″ player on the women’s WNBA basketball team.

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Scorpio

Are You A Superjock? - Ron's Creative Zodiac

PERSONALITY – Average looking with a fairly decent build, his physique and skills are distinguished among men.

In high school and college, he’s the jock that didn’t make the ‘big time.’ Missing the roar and exultation of the crowds, he’s a jock of all sports and a master of none.

With tear-soaked eyes, he sits around reminiscing about the ‘good old’ locker room days. All his spare bucks goes out on sporting equipment and Pro video games, so don’t expect too many romantic nights together.

IDEAL WOMAN – He like them sporty, healthy and into sexual healing.

WHERE TO MEET – You run into characters of this type at any sporting event, at the local health club and at the karaoke bar.

GOAL – To save up enough money for season’s tickets & airfare…ANYWHERE!!

RATING – 6.1….His hygienics’s are down hill all the way with sanitary measures not an issue. He will vow his love for you (If you promise to keep his gym shorts ironed & pressed, along with his old college jersey.)

If you select this type, be prepared for a life of natural high-fiber dinners, athletes foot and daily intakes of every ‘high-powered vitamin known to man.’ 

________________________

Meet the author & creator, Read Ron’s profile…

Ronald Kennedy

How To Love A Lush | Profile Of Guzzlin’ Gus

Here’s The #1 Lush In All America!

Lovefolks-how to love a lushHow-to-select-a-compatible-mate

Original Publish Date: November 28, 2016

Updated & Published: October 3, 2024

By Ronald Kennedy

 

This Dude Is ‘One-Of-A-Kind.’

Check out old drinking Gus, better known as ‘guzzlin’ Gus, the town drunk! Now don’t act like your ass don’t know someone like Gus.

Maybe you know someone like this from work or could be a male member in your family. Don’t be ashamed!

It happens to the best of us. (These dudes figure the bottle is more important).

Then again, your ‘Gus’ may be a female family member. Daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, etc. (Hell, you get the picture!) You’ll always recognize who’s the lush right around the holidays.

How to love this person the way you’d like, is a task in itself. They maybe family, but damn they’re a pain in the neck.

Exposes True Self On Holidays

______________________________

On Thanksgiving & Christmas, Look Out! He or she (Yes, there are women drunks too), will come over and head straight for the liquor cabinet or whatever you have laid out on the table!

Why is it they’re always the first to arrive? (Some even have nerve enough to complain about the brands you have).

You’ll still be in the kitchen cooking, trying to get that holiday meal together because you’re expecting 12 guest.

So far all is going good, except for Gus bugging you every 15 or 20 minutes asking where is the rest of the liquor? (What you had laid out on the table is already gone).

But in regards to Gus himself. He’s a soft-spoken guy in his late 40’s, getting fat, going bald and not giving a damn about anything. (If female, she’s probably overweight, lazy and screams at the kids all day). 

During the pandemic, he never wore a mask telling people alcohol keeps him immune and it’s his own way to be vaccinated.

He drinks like a fish, breath smells bad enough to make a horse commit suicide and he thinks he knows it all. You can’t tell him crap! (So don’t even try!!) 

One habit he has that you’ll never get use to: Gus will always get right in your face, as though you can’t hear; spit flying everywhere, trying to out talk you. (I wonder why drunks always do that.)

All you can do at this point is hold your breath for as long as you can, pretend you’re into what he’s saying and hope like hell, that he will soon shut the fuck up.

Sometime he acts like a spoiled mama’s boy if he doesn’t get his way. The whole town tries to show this Gus love, but do so only out of pity.

PLEASE! Avoid conversations at all cost! (His breath will Kill You!)

So without further ado, I present to you the profile of Guzzin’ Gus…

Guzzlin’ Gus

_______________________

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 27 to 62,

Height: 5’6″ to 5’11”

Weight: 14 Cases

OCCUPATION – If he stays sober enough, you ladies might find him working as a forklift driver, (..just don’t stand too close or you’ll get killed.) You may also find this type cleaning up school buses.

But more than likely, he’ll just be on government assistance collecting his check.

how-to-love-a-lush-profile-of-guzzlin'-gus

FAVORITE FOODS – Ladies, this drunk enjoys feasting on Tacos smothered in hot wine sauce, steamed corn with stale Rye bread and garlic strips.

For a midnight snack, he’ll invite you over to have a large dripping slice of bourbon pie topped with Cool Whip.

FAVORITE DRINKS – 

He’s not choosey at all. He’ll drink you under the table. Whatever alcohol beverage the store clerk will sell him is just fine.

When you’re at his place, just don’t try to out drink him. (..this really pisses him off.)

FAVORITE MUSIC – Prepare your ears for an evening of ‘Bud Light’ commercial jingles, all Country & Western songs, and anything played down at the local pub or the neighborhood gin joint.

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – Your night of enjoyable viewing with him will include ‘Old Cheers’ reruns and the 80’s movie ‘Arthur’ with Dudley Moore.

He also enjoy watching past taped film footage of Alcoholics Anonymous rap sessions. (..he has a very LARGE collection and he just knows you’ll get a kick out of it.)

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – Football, drinkin’, belchin’ and fartin’ (But not necessarily in that order.) Do you think you can keep up? I doubt it!

TYPE OF CAR – When a little sober, (..which is very rare) he may attempt to drive his old Chevy van. But anytime you spot this hunk of junk parked in some remote area, you can bet your last dollar he’s inside sleeping one off.

LAST BOOK – “Kinzie report—-BEER: The New Aphrodisiac  written by Brew Masters; Inc. (..in collaboration with Kinzie, of course).

TURN-ON’S – Easy twist-off beer bottle caps, Super Bowl Sunday with his buddies treating him to free booze and shiny new beer delivery trucks stocked with suds.

TURN-OFF’S – Losing his sense of taste and smell when sick. He also hates warm beer, missing liquor sales and you drinking more than him.

SECRET FANTASY – He dreams of someday being accidentally locked inside a beer distillery for a whole weekend without being discovered.

ASTROLOGICAL – Taurus

Zodiac sign-Taurus/how-to-love-a-lush-profile-of-guzzlin'-gus

PERSONALITY – A connoisseur from way back in the day, this lush really does know his suds.

Along with his huge belly, he’ll more than likely be of mixed heritage, very lazy and think he knows it all.

(Just ask him anything, and regardless if he know the answer or not, he’ll argue you down until you agree.)

In later years, he may suffer from a bad case of stiff finger joints due to opening so many pop-top beer cans and twist off bottle caps.

IDEAL WOMAN – She must be under 28, a little chunky and have bucked teeth. This way, whenever he can’t locate the bottle opener, he can just turn to her and say; ” Honey, open wide!”

WHERE TO MEET – Ladies, you’ll run into these types standing in lottery lines, at the bowling alley, the old neighborhood bar or puking his guts out in someone’s backyard.

GOAL – To one day win some type of contest where first prize would be a free case of beer every week for 24 months.

RATING – 4.7…..At the beginning ladies, he could start off being a good provider for your children. But later in the relationship, you’ll probably get dumped for a big-breasted barmaid; which may be all for the better.

You would only tire yourself out from the constant litter of beer cans strewn about the house. (..one messy deal.)

But there’s a good bet he could be a candidate for ‘Customer of the Year’ named by the local aluminum recycling center in Belch-em’, Wyoming.

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How To Love A Pet Caregiver | Profile Of Veterinarian Vera

How To Love A Pet Caregiver | Profile Of Veterinarian Vera

How-to-select-a-compatible-mate

Originally Published: Oct 30, 2018

 

Veterinarian Vera Is A Stalker And A Pest.

She Sometimes Treat Her Men Like They All Have Fleas.

Vera always wanted to be a veterinarian because she loved animals. She’s a 27 year old female who applied to a good veterinarian school, but got kicked out only after three weeks.

Determined to get established in this field, she decides to use every trick in the book. One way to get in is to get very friendly with the Head Of the Deans Department, then sleeping with the Chairman of the Veterinarian’s Board of Directors.

Folks who knows her don’t consider her a ‘bonafide’ career woman. Vera; better known as ‘Veterinarian Vera.’ did finally get a veterinarian’s license that many folks think she paid for.

She also claim to love all kinds of animals, but many of her clients swear they’ll never take their pet back to her again. They feel she’s unprofessional, mistreats their animals and do drugs.

Vera treats her men like she do her clients pets. (Keep them on a leash, down on all fours and make them beg for affection).

So with all said and done, lets take a look at what Vera is all about:

 

         Veterinarian Vera

 

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 24 to 48  Height: 5’1″ to 5’6″  Weight: Dogmatic

OCCUPATION – When she’s not mistreating her client’s animals or tending to some homeless mutt, she’ll volunteer to work the front office part-time just to see what records she could falsify, steal or destroy.

How To Love A Pet Caregiver | Profile Of Veterinarian Vera

FAVORITE FOODS – If this is the type of girl you’re seeking, then prepare to chow down on some fried rabbit patties smothered in raccoon sauce.

She’ll also offer you a side dish of bullhead onion soup with stale oyster crackers.

Dessert will be a slice of warmed over baboon pie topped with Cool Whip.

FAVORITE DRINKS – If you pop over some evening unexpected, you might find her sitting on the sofa sipping Bullfrog beer and downing shots of Southern Comfort, one after another.

This sudden drinking urge normally takes place after work and comes in spurts. After hours of this non-stop drinking madness, she becomes delirious.

Soon she starts babbling about being overworked, catching a sexual disease from a one-night stand and not getting a discount on those cheap breast implants she had done 2 years ago.

FAVORITE MUSIC – Guys if she’s for you, then you better get used to listening to things she classify as music. If you two are cruising down the highway in her little car, she’ll pop in a CD recording of her teaching dogs new tricks….such as howling together in harmony.

She’ll also serenade you with her terrible singing voice. (Again, MORE howling)!

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – She enjoys old ‘Lassie’ videos and any ‘Animal Planet’ episodes. But her all-time favorite is ‘Lady and the Tramp’ (It moves her to tears).

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – All dog competition events that week are high on her list. During her leisure time, you will join her in a long hike.

Later, she will challenge you to a foot race across the largest field in the country just to abuse a lonely, grazing cow.

Next stop, the zoo! She would pick the hottest day to walk, laugh and pet, …..while your ass sit, cuss and sweat!

TYPE OF CAR – You’ll join her on long drives in her old rusted 82′ Volkswagen Beetle. (Just be expecting to push when it breaks down on the road).

Very soon, and of course with your money, she’ll be able to purchase the car of her dreams….a 1983 pink Mustang!

LAST BOOK – ‘Why Most Dogs Look Like Their Owner’ by an author who’s unknown and too embarrassed to show his face.

TURN-ONS – Men who allow her to make house calls, men that know how to keep their mutt under control and men that like to spank her ass in bed.

TURN-OFF – Rival competition threatening to move on her block, customers who are always late paying their bills and people that park in her private spot. (You may get your tires slashed!)

SECRET FANTASY – To be treasurer of a world-class veterinarian convention in Death Valley, AZ at $800.00 a head. (..And after processing all the cash donations, she’s nowhere to be found.)

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Sagittarius

How to love a crazy veterinarian - Profile of crazy Vera

PERSONALITY –Truly a state-of-the-art type of girl, she is true to her craft and tries hard to take her business seriously.

She has the ability and know-how when it comes to pinning down the tiniest detailed problem in your animal. Regardless of the situation with your pet, she’s usually ‘Johnny On The Spot’.

She’s the type who would cheer at the sight of a little kid pulling a dog’s tail…and then get angry when the dog turns and bites him!

IDEAL MAN – She adores the company of a tall, slim and hairy man with a BIG Dog. (I’m talking about the four legged kind, so get your mind out of the gutter). Also, Vera expects her men to be quiet and obedient.

In the bedroom, she captivates them by shaking her tight ass in their faces, then expects them to sit up with tongues drooling, begging for more!

WHERE TO MEET – You may meet a chick like this in the pet supply department at the local discount store, a dog grooming show and at the flea market.

GOAL – To have the first 24 hour drive thru, drop-off service for your convenience. (She encourages you, your pet and your wallet to take advantage of this special service).

RATING – 5.3…..If you settle down with this type, you will have a pretty decent start in life.

A simple house with a white picket fence that need repainting, a used van that doesn’t run half the time, doggie poop stains in the carpet, and every breed of animal you can think of running around tearing up the place. (Vera won’t have time to take care of them.) It’ll be all on you, bro! So good luck with that shit.

 

________________________________

FYI

This is amazing! New and different as it relates to the art world. Find your soulmate through mind art. Check it out:

PSYCHIC LOVE REPORT-Watch this video! Discover when, where, and how you will meet your soulmate.

 

 

How to teach a woman to cook

How To Love a Bumbling Cook | Profile Of Careless Carla

Latest Updates: November 12, 2024

Absolutely No Culinary Skills

Lets face it, guys! As a man seek a good woman today, one of the first qualities he looks for is ‘can she throw down’ in the kitchen?  You’ve heard the old saying that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” This is so true.

Men love to eat and look for a woman who loves to cook. Men look for a woman who can ‘kick ass’ in the kitchen. Just between you and I, how to love a bumbling cook is No picnic. It’s really an ongoing learning experience!

No dude wants stomachHow to love a bumbling cook-profile of careless Carla poisoning.  You may as well get in the kitchen and cook your own damn food.

These statements hold some truth. In the case of bumbling Carla regarding love, romance, hospitalization and life insurance, these things go hand-in-hand.

A ONE OF A KIND

____________________________

In all fairness, when a woman who cooks as bad as this lady, and is considered a bumbling cook looking for love, they do have other qualities that make up for the terrible job in the kitchen.

Super in bed? Perhaps! But it shouldn’t always be about sex only. Even though Carla stays horny as hell, she still can do other things to please her guy.

I don’t want to go deep into Carla’s sexual details, but understandably so, I’ll give her a little slack this time. When you really think about it, most guys like a woman with ‘old fashion’ values.

A woman who does great things at home is someone most men love to have in their corner. Also, someone who won’t burn down the kitchen frying an egg.

A Rising Cost In Hospitalization Insurance

____________________________

It is well known, how loving a bumbling cook like Carla is really a task in itself. She’s very popular with one of the CEO’s  largest insurance companies. She brings in much repeat business regarding local hospital stays with her men.

Stomach pumps are a ‘hot’ commodity in regards to the most popular How to love a bumbling cook-profile of careless Carlahospital item used.

Yes, they love love Carla! She makes them money. It’s safe to say that every dude loves a woman that can cook good! (hell, all men got to eat, right?)

A man wants a good woman, who can prepare fantastic tasting dishes. We like eating new shit (And not only in the bed room). LOL

A NEW CONCEPT

 ____________________________ 

But along comes Carla. (she can’t cook worth a shit!) She thinks she understands this concept about men and what they like when it comes to food & sex. She’s heard this from other women, that men will love you more if you take care of their stomach (This is what scares the hell out of her).

This woman desperately want to please her man; not only in the bedroom, but also at the dinner table. She sometime think about ways on how to get your ex back. So now, let’s see what’s cooking with this goofy woman.

Wanna get your laugh on with 16 more character profiles? Here’s some funny stuff! Hover over the QR code by using your cell phone camera to open browser. Read Free sample preview…

CARELESS CARLA

_____________________

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 22 to 49, Height: 5’5″ to 5’9″, Weight: Prime Cut !!

OCCUPATION – You’ll find this type employed as a food service manager or the owner of her own catering business. She may also work in the frozen section of the neighborhood meat market.

FAVORITE FOODS – If she haven’t burnt the house down, she’ll invite you over for something special. Are you ready?  Prepare to indulge in a meal you probably never had before….

How to love a bumbling cook

A large roasted head of moose smothered in gravy, baked beans with half-cooked beacon, a side dish of squirrel stew along with a ice cold glass of donkey sweat.

And don’t forget dessert…rhino balls sprinkled with cinnamon sugar. (I hope like hell your medical insurance is paid up, and it covers stomach pumps). 

FAVORITE DRINKS – After dinner (If you’re still alive), you and Carla will toast to your relationship, with two shots of reindeer snot ‘on the rocks!’ 

FAVORITE MUSIC – She will play for you, her cd disc of that old song, ‘Lets fall in love’ by that 1970 duet “Peaches & Herb”

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – You’ll relax with Carla on the sofa and watch old re-runs of ‘The Martha Stewart cooking show.’ ‘The Galloping Gourmet’, and a taping of that new Broadway production, ‘It Must be Jelly, Cause Jam Don’t Shake Like That!’

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – She’ll have you participating in fun things like the annual ‘Squash Slinging’ competition. Also, she’ll want you to be a judge in the ‘long distance pork chop tossing contest,’ along with the ‘meat loaf bake off’ event.

TYPE OF CAR – A catering truck would be the vehicle of choice, because she thinks she’ll earn extra money by selling her bad cooking and lousy sandwiches!

LAST BOOK- 25 Ways To Microwave & Serve Goat Liver” by special foreign food critic; Mr. Uwoud Gagan’-puke.

TURN-ONS – She really gets a thrill from new supermarket openings, discount food coupons that’s good for a month and food blenders that don’t work properly.

TURN-OFFS – Cheap generic aluminum foil that easily rips, wax paper that doesn’t hold and having pans without matching lids.

SECRET FANTASY – To own the most exciting and exclusive restaurant this side of the globe.

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Scorpio

Rons zodiac sign

PERSONALITY – With a half-baked mind and attempts to learn better cooking skills, this woman was married three times.

Each relationship ended in serious arguments with her spouse over who controls the kitchen (But really, it’s more of the husband fighting, trying to keep Carla’s ass out of the kitchen.)

Single once again, her relaxation after work consist of trying to bake and who knows she may be capable of out doing your mama. You could classify her as a kitchen junkie.

This chick thinks (In her mind) she has the ‘golden touch’ when it comes down to preparing exotic meals from scratch. 

IDEAL MAN – The culinary art is a must for him to know! He also must know how to prepare a 5 course dinner, run her bath, manicure her toes and make love all night in a ‘cabbage patch field!’

WHERE TO MEET – In the food line at Denny’s, at the check out register at Popeyes Chicken, and at your local pancake house!

GOAL – To one day, write a best seller cookbook.

RATING: 1.2….Life with this crazy nutty woman could only mean you washing dishes, preparing meals, cleaning house while she read through stacks of cookbooks. You’ll be bored sitting around her girlfriends discussing coupon trading.

Experiencing constant diarrhea 3 times a week, you know damn well, is something you could never get used to. But if you could handle it & don’t mind midnight runs to the ‘all night’ drugstore, then life could be a ‘Bowl of Cherries.’

Wanna get your laugh on with 16 more character profiles? Hover over the QR code by using your cell phone camera to open browser. Read Free sample preview…

How To Love A Nerd | Profile of Nerdy Nelson

Latest Update: November 15, 2024

 

Ladies, remember! Nerds Need Loving Too.

So ladies Don’t Be So Cruel. These type of dudes are always searching, scoping out the most beautiful women; only to get their feelings hurt in the long-run. But it would be wrong for me to say they all ‘strike out.’ 

But they NEVER give up! They will keep on pushing forward until they get the crap beat out of them by some chick’s jealous boyfriend!

So here we go again! Let’s take a look at the world of a typical nerd.

Hoover your cell phone camera over the QR code to open browser…

 

‘ NERDY NELSON

 

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 19 to 39, Height: 5’5″ to 6’2″, Weight: Not Much!!

OCCUPATION – You may find this type working at the local movie theater selling popcorn. He may even be your bag boy at the neighborhood supermarket that’s always held a crush on you. (You know the kid that’s always drooling on your items). Then he falls all over himself as he offers to take your things to the car!

FAVORITE FOODS – With him, prepare your taste buds to handle a large helping of junior pepper dogs on half-moldy buns.

Oh yeah, and you better get use to his special home-made dish, the ever-popular ‘Banana Chocolate Chip Goulash.’how-to-love-a-nerd

(While in the kitchen preparing this slop, don’t be surprised if he yells out, “Hey, lollipop lips! I know your dying to try my tasty roasted, honey-dipped frog legs?”)

FAVORITE DRINKS – Warm Kool-Aid (no sugar), dill-pickle juice and strawberry buttermilk shakes, sprinkled with discarded moth wings, will be on the ‘liquor list’ for the evening.

FAVORITE MUSIC – He will sway you with the ‘The Beat Goes On‘ & ‘Red Robin’. (Oldie tunes out before his time.)

He’ll also have you listen to endless hours of the ‘Star Trek’ theme song, and ‘Barney Fife’s Greatest Hits.’

And don’t be surprised, if he tries to serenade you. He claims he can be the greatest broad way singer of all.

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – You’ll spend a great evening, settling back and viewing ‘The Simpsons’ reruns. Also you’ll enjoy the movie ‘Revenge of the Nerd’ pts. 1, 2, & 3 and ‘The Adventures of Pee Wee Herman.’ (So sit back & enjoy.)

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – During a nice quiet evening while you’re over visiting, he’ll have you helping him organize his stamp collection.

If fortunate enough to get invited to a party (Anybody’s party), you’ll assist him in exciting, non-stop action such as the ‘bobbing-for-apples’ event.

TYPE OF CAR – NONE!! A ‘night on the town’ means bar hopping to different pubs or beer joints by bus, train or sore feet!

LAST BOOK- ‘Learn How To Pick Up Girls   by Smooth Talkers, Inc.

TURN-ONS – His glasses fog up and he break out with a big grin at the sight of nude statues, porn magazines and used, ‘slimy’ condoms.

TURN-OFFS – 6 ft. 280 lb. weight lifters who pick on nerds, street gang members hanging out in the vestibule of his apartment, and women wrestlers.

SECRET FANTASY – To one day, be able to get a good blow job before turning 40.

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Libra

PERSONALITY – As a member of the Mr. Rodgers fan club, he’s a real ‘slacker’ who’ll never accomplish much in life. His friends voted him ‘Chump of the Month,’ and he has more enemies than you can count.

His dry wit and bumbling demeanor makes him a ‘true’ nerd.

IDEAL WOMAN – A nerdette who looks like Woody Allen’s sister.

WHERE TO MEET – These nerdy-types are usually found spending their time, hanging around bus terminals trying to pick up women.

You’ll also find them in the men clothing section where bow ties are sold. Then later in the library.

GOAL – To find a job paying a little over minimum wage and one day, qualify for a Visa card.

RATING: 1.2….He’s no Casanova. He masters dull talk, slow action and can’t get a ‘boner!’ You being a strong woman, he’ll never find out what interest you. (Frankly, he won’t give a shit)! 

But maybe it’s all for the better! Besides, who wants a serious relationship with someone enjoying and spending most of their time playing in used kitty litter!

Meet the author & creator. Click on image to read author’s profile…

Ronald Kennedy

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How To Love A Horny Grandma | Profile Of Dirty Ol’ Doris

Last Updated: November 14, 2024How-to-select-a-compatible-mate

“Do You Want A Love, Crazy Experience From An ‘Over The Hill’ Old Buzzard?”

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She maybe ‘long in the tooth,’ but still know how to get around and what she wants. It’s no surprise to me that most folks know someone like this; a neighbor, close friend, the janitor’s wife; etc, (How could someone like this ever be forgotten)?

Regardless if it’s a cafeteria worker at your old high school, a waitress at the old coffee shop that you and your friends used to frequent in college, or an old next-door neighbor that always had the hots for you, this type of woman will appear somewhere in your life.

‘Loves Her Cigarettes…’

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To all the guys out there (of course this could be addressed to the ladies as well) when it comes down to loving someone like Dirty ol’ Doris, then my friend, you’ve hit the bottom of the barrel.

Also, you better get use to inhaling a lot of choking, cigarette smoke when in her presence and the smell on your clothes. Don’t complain! That’s BS to Doris! She’ll tell you in a minute to “kiss her ass.” (You better get used to her smelly clothes).

how to love a horny grandma

If you don’t mind the age difference and a woman who loves lots of sex (she’s 88) then this old bird might just be for you.

She’s a heavy smoker, so you better get use to it, or start smoking with her (that’s probably why she was born under the sign of cancer).

Just remember Not to smoke more than her! She’s a ‘three packer a day’ and will get ‘pissed’ if you try out doing her. (At least, she don’t smoke weed… she just ‘sell it.’) Ol’ Doris always wants to be the best at everything!

She was this way even at a young age. Growing up, when games were played among her friends, she would ‘kick their asses’ if she thought they were cheating.  And that toughness carried on throughout the years!

‘She May Fart Dust, But…’

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“Hey! Don’t let her age fool you my friend. Ol’ Doris can still ‘throw down,’ even much better than others half her age.

Doris is an ‘Energizer Battery’ when it comes to sex! She can roll until the sun comes up!

Afterwards she’ll lay back, and have herself 7 or 8 smokes. Then It’s off to the races again. (So you better be ready)!

She’ll ‘screw your brains out’ and later suggest you take Viagra if you wanna go for several more rounds.  It pisses Doris off knowing you can’t keep your ‘Love Muscle’ “standing at attention” very long. This old broad hates a ‘limp penis.

If you think you’re man enough, big & bad enough, lets see how you handle this. Get ready now to meet the hottest (at least in her mind), most active old buzzard on planet earth; that really knows how to live life & make serious love.

Hover your camera phone over QR code & open browser. Read Free sample preview…

 

  Dirty Ol’ Doris

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 88 and going up fast, Height: 5’2″ to 5’5″, Weight: Flirtatious.

OCCUPATION – This type will most likely be employed as a office manager of some broken down junk yard. You may also find this type running one of the largest distributors of pornographic materials and adult sex toys in the US, Canada, and the UK (but not necessarily in that order)!

FAVORITE FOODS – Once she puts her teeth in, she’s ready for chow. Dining out will consist of old cabbage plants with Caesar dressing. A side dish of Muskrat stew and boiled owl heads. For desert, she’ll have a slice of baboon pie topped with wild cherries.

Old horny grandma at the bar

FAVORITE DRINKS – Most mornings, especially after a long night of hot sex, she’ll gulp down two large glasses of prune juice to help with bowel movement.

The night life will consist of a fifth of Jack & coke, wine coolers and bloody Mary. Some Old Granddad bourbon would also be nice as well.

FAVORITE MUSIC – Ol’ Doris favorite sounds are the ringing of sales from her inner-city pornographic business (She says, “It’s a horny and freaky world out there and I’m looking to cash in”).

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – The ‘Golden Girls’ are on top of her list.

Also, it really fires her up when watching any amazing You tube xxx Adult videos such as; “Debbie Does Dallas,” “Naughty Girls from Central High,” “Don’t Do Me Wrong…Just Do Me.” & “Old Broads From The Home Giving Gum jobs”

(It’s ‘double duty’ night. A round of blowjobs while soaking their teeth at the same time).

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – She wants to be a referee or judge at any event which includes young studs flexing their muscles. (She claims she’s the best at rubbing body oil.)

However, during football season, she’ll make bets with a couple of her old, wild girlfriends over which team pat the others fanny the most.

TYPE OF CAR – NONE! (Hell, she’s damn near 90, what do you expect?)

LAST BOOK – ‘Doggie Style 101’  by the ‘Back-Door Slammers’ from the over ’70’ Club.

TURN ONS – Young men’s sweaty muscles glistening on the beach, winning a big state lottery to impress young studs and hanging around men’s shower stalls after a game.

TURN OFFS – Old dudes trying to act young, middle-age dudes always complaining about their aches and pains, annoying people who keep reminding her of her age, and all the dudes trying to wear condoms they know are way too big.

SECRET FANTASY – To be voted “the hottest senior citizen of the 21st Century.”

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Cancer

Ron's Funny Zodiac Sign

 

PERSONALITY – This old bag knows what she wants in life and goes after it (especially ANY well-built, well-hung young stud will do)! Her demeanor toward the opposite sex sometime makes you wonder; if she really cares what’s thought of her. But really she don’t give a shit!

She thinks that being in the company of much younger men, make other women think they’re not popular enough. She also doesn’t realize that some of these men she know, only socialize with her because she’s lonely and have money.

These men also know that they could get anything their hearts desire by just telling her how sexy her old ass is.

IDEAL MAN – The wild, young liberal type. One who understands her needs and love trying out new positions.

WHERE TO MEET – You could run into sluts like this hanging around any convention in town promoting their large display of sex toys.

GOAL – To invite all hot, horny studs across America for an all-night sex orgy.

RATING: 3.9…If money and a sense of security is something you feel is important, then maybe this fun-loving ol’ bag is not for you. But keep the age difference in focus.

Your buddies might think you’ve cracked up when they spot you and her together. They’ll swear you’re out with your grandma! But all you’re trying to do with Doris is staying on her good side and out of her doghouse!

‘Meet The Author &  Creator’

 

Ronald Kennedy

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How To Love A Spoiled Man | Profile of A Mama’s Boy

How-to-select-a-compatible-mate

A spoiled man will be a ‘pain in the butt.’

 

By Ronald Kennedy

Latest Update: October 11, 2024

Loving this type would take a lot of work.

I put this character’s profile at the top of my comedy ‘hit’ list. I gave myself a good laugh while creating this one.

Although, all my characters profile’s give me a good feeling, this one represents many whiners living in our society today.

You do have to admit, in real life, they’re are just as many of this type walking around today, then there are in hiding.

For the life of me, I could never figure out how women could waste their valuable time with babied losers like this. If their woman won’t give them their way, they argue until she gives in.

Don’t confuse ‘being demanding’ with ‘acting spoiled’….they’re one in the same!

Those dudes out there who’s still attached to moms apron strings, harbor underlining conditions that need serious mental evaluation.

The spoiled type looking for love, affection and pampering carries himself like a little ‘sick puppy!’ He’s looking for the same affection mom gave him when she help tuck him in at night, with his milk and cookies (He still remember those orioles).

Ladies, beware! Before you get too deeply involved, study their behavior, the crazy things they say, along with childish ways.

So when seeking a dating partner and you have concerns, study the profile below. It will give you a ‘heads up’ on what you could possibly end up with.

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‘Mama’s Boy’

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 24 to 49, Height: 5’7″ to 6’4″, Weight: Excess Baby Fat

OCCUPATION – You may find this type working in a toy discount warehouse facility.

Or maybe you’ll run across this type sweeping hair at the neighborhood barber shop, working part-time at a nursery or helping his parents out in the family owned hardware store.

How-to-select-a-compatible-mate

FAVORITE FOODS – Dining with him will consist of a plate of warm baby cabbages, macaroni & cheese, and a Milky Way bar.

For lunch, you’ll share some stale peanut brittle, two peppermint candy canes and a huge bowl of cold alphabet soup.

Dinner will be a Happy Meal from McDonalds, loaded with chicken nuggets and a chocolate chip cookie.

FAVORITE DRINKS – Wanna stay in and have drinks with this thumb sucking mama’s boy?

If so, then be prepared to spend a cozy, romantic evening in front of the fireplace sipping Nestle Chocolate NesQuik.

Also, he’ll talk you into downing a couple of swigs of prune juice. According to his crazy philosophy, this will loosen your bowels thoroughly and help ease any anxiety progression towards a decent sexual performance.

But before any ‘hot action’ can take place between the sheets, he first must call mom to get tips on the best positions!

FAVORITE MUSIC – ‘The Flintstones’ opening theme song will be high on his Top 10 chart. Also, you’ll be dancing to the beat from the ‘Three Stooges’ jingle and ‘The Simpsons’. (hey, those guys are his idols).

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – This childish joker will expect you to accompany him in viewing old video taped reruns of ‘Bozo’s Circus,’ and ‘the Disney Classics.’ Your fun-filled evening will also include MTV, and ‘Tom & Jerry’ cartoons.

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – His hobby activities will include sand castle building, competitive dog & cat grooming and spit-shining old rusty wagon wheels.

As far as the physical fitness portion is concerned, his legs receive plenty of exercise from jumping up and down when he doesn’t get his way.

TYPE OF CAR – He’ll really think he’s impressing you when he picks you up in a pint-size Yugo or ‘clown car,’ which will display his newly customized Donald and Daffy Duck interior.

He’ll glow with pride when he tells you that it took every cent from his piggy bank to get the car detailing done.

LAST BOOK- ‘Bedwetting Made Easy’  by Dr. Phil A. Bladder

TURN-ON’S – Tootsie Roll Pops with the bubble gum center, a well-oiled skateboard and a woman who enjoys 24-hour cartoon marathons.

TURN-OFF’S – Bossy women who are into competitive sports, a toy store going out of business, feminist groups and a chick that has a hand shake stronger than his.

SECRET FANTASY – To hold firm in his possession the largest collection of Harry Potter Magic and Mystery novels.

Lovefolks-how to love a spoiled man

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Gemini

PERSONALITY – Still probably still camping out at home, this immature clown is half way through a mind alteration process.

Having strong family ties, he’s very sensitive to the suggestions and wishes of mom.

He’ll always compare you and your cooking to dear ol’ mom.

IDEAL WOMAN – To be a mirror image of mom.

WHERE TO MEET – You can find this type usually at any Toys-R-Us, his mama’s favorite neighborhood supermarket, the corner candy store or the video arcade.

GOAL – To one day, meet and marry a woman just like good ol’ mom.

RATING – 2.4….. You probably think to yourself, you wish you had a way to study a character’s profile of this type before you started dating. Your relationship with this man could go either way.

But the long-term lecture from him constantly comparing you to his mother, could be bad for your mental health. A very stressful thing!

Unfortunately, If you have a mental collapse, this could possibly lead to drastic actions. Do you have any idea which actions I’m referring to?

Those actions that you know will eventually come; such as You going to the penitentiary and him?… to the graveyard!

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Hey! Get Your Laugh On!!

This is some crazy, funny stuff! Check out my new humor book entitled, “What Is Love Guide For The Sexes?” It entails profile descriptions of men & women wanting to be romanced. Just click on the image. Read sample…

What is Love Guide for the sexes?

So what do you think? Did you enjoy this article? If you found the information in this post interesting & useful, please share it with your friends and colleagues on Facebook & Pinterest

What is Love Guide For The Sexes | Authors Introduction

Updated September 25, 2024

 

Hello Everyone!

I’d like to introduce myself. I’m Ronald Kennedy, creator/author/Illustrator of this single’s quick reference handbook.

Any man or woman with a great sense of humor and the understanding of a crazy satire, could really relate to my book. (I’m also aware of the fact it could be a relationship between ‘man-man’ or ‘woman-woman’; but that’s for another day).

But regardless of your sexual preferences, society has long ago dictated that in order to build a successful relationship, understanding a person’s personality is ‘key!’

Remember, everyone is there own person and have there own way of doing things. Now you ask “What is Love Guide for the Sexes?” Keep reading:

Single Folks Need A Great Sense Of Humor.

You must keep in mind, there’s always a ‘light at the end of the tunnel.’ (At least you hope.) What is needed in any relationship is a good sense of humor!

Along with it, there are men and women in the dating world that will have you stepping back, analyzing the situation and shaking your head.

You’ll feel so thankful that you didn’t get tied up in any craziness.

But what it really all boils down to, my friend, is that there has never been any foolproof way of navigating a curve around the hundreds of idiotic nerds, lushes, perennial singles (Mainly seniors who feel a lot younger than their age), misogynist (Someone who has a hatred towards women), players, and lunatic stalkers who line our city streets, local pubs, distant bars and karaoke joints.

The character profiles I’ve created in this book, are strictly for laughs and I pray that there’s Not No one in our society like these folks. LOL!

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Scan QR Code for more details & Free sample read:

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You’re probably disgruntled because you look around and most people are coupled off, but not you. You can’t seem to find anyone!

My book will steer your mind in the right direction and enabling it to understand the type of singles which line are city streets.

Not knowing what to expect when mingling in the dating arena, you’d find yourself running across all types of profiles, regardless of occupation.

This is why I created many zany characters on this subject; showcasing their wants, needs and mainly just what you’ll be dealing with.

A relationship, regardless of how wacky, can be accomplished on all levels of life. The individual who’s searching, must maintain there sanity and remain focused.

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Young Ron, Buck Wild & Out Of Control

Thinking back when I was a young buck, back in the 60’s, I know I had my share of young ladies and made a lot of love.

I was a regular ladies man! I had friends that would hang around me, so that they can meet women! (They knew I’d ‘draw them in.)’

Back in the day, the rebel cry was ‘Make Love, Not War.’ We would never fight over a woman. The only ‘war’ we’d have was with the area street bullies.

The worst thing that would happen to us was a roughing up every now and then, by these neighborhood bullies.

They would rob us of whatever little money we had in our pockets. (sometimes tried to hide things in our socks, but we couldn’t outsmart those jokers.

They just made us take our shoes off!) A quick ‘shake down’ and it’s over!

shakedown-1340048_640Not the way things are today, especially on the city south and west side. Way too much violence! So sad!

Cartooning & music were my other two major loves (next to women)

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 When I first involved myself with music, I started a singing group back in the 60’s. Then I moved to voice-over commercial jingles. After moving to LA, I still do music.

On different days through the week, and on weekends I spend time singing karaoke in various sports bars around the South Bay area in California.(Jamming the hits).

Wanna see my video and hear me sing? (You can also subscribe as well), go to the link below:  

https://www.youtube.com/@ShowtimeRon603/videos

But my art creativity still remained at the forefront of my life. I Love to paint & draw!

A full display of my work of drawings, oil paintings, acrylics as well as music could be viewed here on my Instagram.

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I Love Working On My Art

 

Below I’m busy at working on one of my animal paintings. 

This fair would feature oil paintings, framed drawings of unique subjects, hand-crafted dolls, airbrush pictures, metal sculptures, watercolors, etc;

It’s an exciting time among each artist every year! We all bonded together like family at the outdoor fairs.

All art lovers alike got together for a great time! After I did not achieve my goal as an art instructor, teaching at the Art institute of Chicago, I became interested in the movie lovefolksbusiness. 

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Lights! Camera!! Action!!!

 

For some reason, holly wood producers found Chicago an excellent place to shoot movies.

When they came to film, I was right there auditioning! (I never missed a beat!)

I met many stars like basketball great Bill Russell, pint-sized comedian Gary Coleman, Norman Fell (From Three’s Company), Paul Sorvino, Retired hockey star Bobby Hall, just to name a few. Being an ‘Extra’ or a ‘Stand in’ in a film was interesting work.

But when I wasn’t doing this, you’d find me back at work in front of my drawing board. Business as usual.

I’m so thankful to God each and everyday for giving me the talent which He instilled in me. But I also take NOTHING for granted. So I would say to all of you:

art-256895_640

Never put limits yourself! Dig deep within yourself and tap into that hidden talent!

 

 

                 

My Newest Humor Book (Preview For Free:)

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