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Are You A Superjock? Profile of A Sports Nut!

06/29/2022

By Ronald Kennedy

Some Dudes Just Go Overboard!

Most men love sports! Some dream about going one-on-one with Michael Jordan (back in the day) or Lebron James now. Many get carried away and let sports consume their lives.

Even out on a date, they can’t get enough talking about their favorite teams. No matter if it’s tennis, football, basketball, etc; he’ll talk you ear off. Talking sports, he figure love conquers all. Woman love the athletic type!

You may get bored as hell, (unless you’re a sports fanatic and can talk sports non-stop). You want to exit as soon as possible! That’s why a type like this can’t seem to hold a normal decent woman.

Here’s is a character profile of ‘The Sports Nut’ and what this guy is all about:

THE SPORTS NUT

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 19 to 39, Height: 5′ 10″, Weight: Competitive.

OCCUPATION – He’ll most likely be a little league softball or football coach, a water boy on the Special Olympic team, or the VP of operation team management, who’s always trying to figure out how to ‘beat the system.’

FAVORITE FOODS – You better be equip with a ‘cast iron stomach’ and a ‘athletic mind.’ He can’t wait to see your reactions as you wolf down a Super-sized wolf burger and muscle fries. (That order come with a side order of ‘lizard soup’). Enjoy!

FAVORITE DRINKS – When you’re over, he’ll pull out his blender and mix up his special blend of health minerals, goat eggs and chopped turkey skin.

Constantly digesting his mixture of special ingredients, it will have you in the bathroom shittin’ every 30 minutes; but at the same time, increasing your interest in the latest literature offered as you rest.

love conquers all

FAVORITE MUSIC – Top of his playlist: “We Are The Champions” – Queen

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – He flashes a Big Smile while viewing women’s championship volleyball tournaments on TV.

Those big breasted players are a sight to behold; (bouncing and jiggling after every serve.)

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – He loves all sports, but can’t play any that well. (In college, he tried football and broke his leg in three places. OUCH!!)

TYPE OF CAR – Any old Ford or utility pickup truck (Running or not.) He’ll sell the parts and buy some sports memorabilia.

 LAST BOOK- “How To Relieve Jock Itch Through Acupuncture” by Dr. Kcratch Thimbals from the Netherlands.

TURN-ON’S – Seeing someone score a ‘buzzard beating’ game-winning shot, dating an underage cheerleader, and being a judge at the World Famous Teenage Beauty Pageant.

TURN-OFF’S – Women that hates sports, don’t watch them and carry No interest in them what-so-ever.

SECRET FANTASY – To have hot, passionate, all-night sex with a 6’6″ player on the women’s WNBA basketball team.

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – ScorpioLove conquers all

PERSONALITY – Average looking with a fairly decent build, his physique and skills are distinguished among men.

In high school and college, he’s the jock that didn’t make the ‘big time.’ Missing the roar and exultation of the crowds, he’s a jock of all sports and a master of none.

With tear-soaked eyes, he sits around reminiscing about the ‘good old’ locker room days. All his spare bucks goes out on sporting equipment and Pro video games, so don’t expect too many romantic nights together.

IDEAL WOMAN – He like them sporty, healthy and into sexual healing.

WHERE TO MEET – You run into characters of this type at any sporting event, at the local health club and at the karaoke bar.

GOAL – To save up enough money for season’s tickets & airfare…ANYWHERE!!

RATING – 6.1….His hygienics’s are down hill all the way with sanitary measures not an issue. He will vow his love for you (If you promise to keep his gym shorts ironed & pressed, along with his old college jersey.)

If you select this type, be prepared for a life of natural high-fiber dinners, athletes foot and daily intakes of every ‘high-powered vitamin known to man.’ 


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