Recently Updated
September 20, 2024
Researched: 70% of Americans have kissed on the 1st date.
“More than 32 million US citizens use dating apps. The average number of relationships before marriage for men is six, and five for women. 60% of women are not actively dating.”
Do you think some couples are just too quick to judge others? Or make decisions on their own? The deciding factor, when it boils down to maintaining a long, solid relationship, should be mutual.
Also, understanding along with communication is always good. Without these two key ingredients, everyone’s relationship is doomed! Don’t let this issue come between you and your in your relationship.
Sometime, you feel you’ll need to read a book on, ” The Do’s And Don’ts For Dating.” Well my friend, good advice can come in any form at any time. But mostly it’s all ‘hands on.’
Just like in our everyday workforce, we would all like to believe that we judge others and are judged by competence, performance, and hard-and-fast results, not stereotypes.
But there is overwhelming evidence from studies in many different fields that people’s judgments of others are influenced by appearance and other characteristics that cause us to see them as members of groups about which we have preexisting assumptions.
I guess sometime in your life, you have to stop playing the dating game, get serious and make that person an equal partner in your life, if things do get that far.
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34 Tips You Should Take To Heart
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Here’s some ‘Do NOT’s men should take into consideration after meeting someone they find very
- Do Not say; “Wow, did you just wolf down that chicken?”
- Do Not buy her a rose in the restaurant, so she has to carry it around like a dork for the rest of the night.
- Do Not tell a girl that she should grow hair any longer than it is.
- Do Not ask her where her hot roommate is.
- Do Not take her to an expensive restaurant and then make her feel bad for ordering too much.
- Do Not go to the loudest restaurant in town and then complain that you can’t hear a word she is saying.
- Do Not pick her up with the convertible top down when it’s freezing outside, just because you think it looks cool.
- Do Not tell her to “just relax” or “go with it” when a girl gives the signals that she wants to go home.
- Do Not have your assistant call to confirm your date.
- Do Not tell her that nothing will stop you from watching the big game.
- Do Not drive too fast and act like you do it all the time.
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Here are some ‘Do NOT’s women should take into consideration after meeting someone they find interesting:
- Do Not tell him that you want to have kids in the first year
- Do Not dwell on your beloved ex-boyfriend, either positively or negatively
- Do Not talk about how you recently got you manic depression under control
- Do Not brag about your sexual prowess
- Do Not look at your watch incessantly
- Do Not make a guy wait alone on your couch while you spend twenty minutes primping in the bathroom
- Do Not order the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu
- Do Not talk about the size of your ass or any other body parts
- Do Not go on and on and on about how you look. They can see
- Do Not say you get drunk from one glass of wine and then proceed to drink four Manhattans
- Do Not say you never kiss on the first date and then go home with him.
- Do Not talk about your diet and workout regimen and how much effort it is to maintain your figure. Pretend it was an accident and not a grandiose effort
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Now we have tips for BOTH sexes out together on their first date. They should follow this ‘Do Not’ list:
- Do Not complain about dating.
- Do Not answer your cell phone while at dinner.
- Do Not talk about your dysfunctional family.
- Do Not talk about how hot your ex is, how good he/she was in bed, or how your date reminds you of him/her.
- Do Not go on a first date if you are sick. Reschedule.
- Do Not pass out under any condition (alcohol, drugs, sleep deprivation, etc.) unless you can prove you’re a legit narcoleptic.
- Do Not act insecure.
- Do Not ‘ogle’ other people at the bar.
- Do Not say that you feel like you have known you forever.
- Do Not talk with your mouth full.
- Do Not bounce your leg nervously while driving.
- Do Not make fun of fat people, short people, or anyone with a physical condition.
Now that all is said and done hopefully, this good dating advice for men and women will lead couples to a more peaceful and satisfying love life.
BEING HONEST IS A GOOD START
When taking into consideration that the number one problematic issue between most couples is honesty, then one must think why is this? Is the grass always greener on the other side?
Does curiosity, along with lustful eyeballs, just get the best of a person?
I believe that honesty isn’t just a fundamental respect for the truth. It’s also a day-to-day expression of that respect. Your honesty – or lack of honesty – creates the context for how you respond to the world and interact with people in it.
Maybe you are just one of those who think you know all about relationships and when to be, or not to be honest. In particular, you’ll damage the interactions that’s most central to your life – the connection with your spouse.
If you believe that honesty is a noble ideal to strive for but you ignore, bend, or violate the truth, you’ll damage your relationships with other. I’ve ran across many couples with honesty problems.
Sometimes the problems are relatively minor, such as a tendency to fib over small matters (forgetting to pick up the dry cleaning, claiming to be stuck in traffic, when you know damn well; you wasn’t).
Any Problem Can Be Solved
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Sometimes the problems are severe, such as committing adultery. (Nothing could be worst than that).
In these, and many instances that fall between the two extremes, husbands and wives wrestle with how to be honest and stay honest with each other.
Dealing with honesty is, in fact, one of the ongoing issues that all couples face.
I see couples facing two basic kinds of honesty problems. One is keeping honesty strong within a marriage.
The other is dealing with specific honesty problems that develop because of jealousy, greed, and infidelity.
But lets just say, for example, you’re a single woman and past relationships have NOT been good to you. It’s not like you go through a series of guys just for the mere fact of dating someone.
You’re a careful judge of character. You want a man who’ll be a good friend to start. It all begins with friendship! You know you’re a good person and someday could be a good wife to a man, and even a mother to his children; if he has any.
But you just have problems holding on to them. Relationships tend to escape your grip! They just slowly seem to evaporate!! You start thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me?” Never fear. Help is on the way! Maybe you need help with ‘first-time’ dating.‘
Practice Openness
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Here are some ways to solve each of these problems and how you can strengthen your overall honesty as a couple…
Even if you’re honest on a day-to-day basis, I believe that it’s important to practice maintaining a fundamental openness to your spouse or partner. What I’m calling “openness” goes beyond the specific facts of what you say.
Openness is the quality of having an open mind and an open heart. If you’re open in this sense, you are available to your spouse – ready to hear about his or her worries, troubles, and hurts, as well as his or her interest, enthusiasms, and delights.
You’re willing to make your spouse’s concerns your own. You’re ready to cherish your husband or wife despite his or her imperfections and limitations. Or maybe even some form of suffering.
Openness of these sorts is a type of honesty because it honors what matters most: the love and warmth you share with this other person.
Here are some suggestions regarding practicing openness:
Stay mindful of each other. It’s easy for spouses to lose track of each other as the center of each other’s lives. All the daily tasks and obligations tend to blur the vividness of the other person you love – to diminish the intensity of what you feel.
If you can stay aware of each other, though, you’ve already done half the task of practicing openness.
Share your feelings, dreams, concerns, or needs. Raise issues you’ve had no time to discuss. Tell each other thank you for all you’re doing for each other and your family.
Express disagreements openly rather than in veiled ways. All couples experience conflicts. All couples have differences of opinion. All couples must cope with frustrations, miscues, and misunderstandings.
Something that makes a major differences in couples’ success or failure is whether they can address the issues honestly rather than through roundabout, veiled, or sneaky ways.
I’m not talking now about “telling the truth” versus “telling a lie.” What i’m referring to is the tendency of some spouses to face issues directly, while others can’t even look each other in the eye about even the most minor matters.
Resorting to sarcasm, hidden threats, or “subliminal advertising” aren’t good ways to solve problems together.
It’s more productive to put your cards on the table, sort out whatever concerns you, and stay open to possible solutions.
Learn new forms of openness. Perhaps you like the idea of openness, but you’re not sure exactly how to achieve it. Fair enough. Marriage involves lifelong, so there’s no reason for you to know everything from the start.
But you can acquire skills in a marriage just as in any other realm of life. Part of that openness is precisely this willingness to learn. Learn from whom?
Well, any number of therapists, pastoral counselors, and marriage workshop leaders can help guide you toward new insights and skills.
My recommendations:
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Be consistent. If you can avoid lying at all, you avoid the slippery slope altogether. Consistency will help you avoid the temptation to lie a little here, a little there, until the situation gets out of control.
You may not make your marriage a ” lie-free zone” overnight, but striving for consistent honesty is a crucial goal.
Work together. Sometimes a couple makes a silent pact to play loose with the truth.
“If he (or she) can fib,” one spouse may decide, “then I have a right to lie, too.” Fair enough?
Not really – because making lying an equal-opportunity habit just makes things worse. A better idea: work & play together to be honest. Make a commitment that you’ll both tell the truth.
Be supportive as you strive for honesty. Oddly, it’s tempting to punish your spouse for telling the truth. Let’s say that a husband admits that the store wasn’t really out of those ingredients – he just forgot to go shopping.
If his wife berates or belittle him (“I knew it! You can’t remember shit! You never do what I ask you to!”), he’s less likely to be honest in the future. Lying will save him the trouble of getting scolded.
If you’re supportive of each other, through, you’re more likely to encourage future honesty. However, note that both parents have to commit themselves to accepting these admissions.
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Relationships are funny and sometimes it’s easier to see the solutions to problems as a third party bystander. I recently had a friend tell me that his wife no longer cares for physical contact like cuddling. That it was a total bait and switch. I didn’t want to get all preach with him, because it’s not my place. But I really had to bite my tongue and not tell him that it’s because of the way he treats her. Don’t get me wrong, he loves her and is a good husband, and his heart’s in the right place. It’s just that he stresses her out with his high expectations of her being perfect in every aspect of life.
I wanted to just tell him that maybe if every time he opened his mouth to offer criticism, to offer a compliment instead, that the infancy would come back.
Hey Dustin my man. How are you? Thanks for dropping in and commenting. Yes, I agree with you when you say relationships are something else. Especially when folks try new ‘hookups’, you never know what to expect. You sometime have to step back, as a person viewing things from the outside looking in. See what others, what you feel are doing wrong.
You mentioned your friend situation. I’ve heard things like that many times before. When never realize what we have until it’s too late. Which is something that your friend will experience if he doesn’t get his act together! You can’t change people to please yourself or expect too much from them. This goes for both sexes!
I also have a friend that’s looking for love in ‘all the wrong places.’ He’ll find someone (usually right off the street), and those female’s always have issues. (They’re either a ‘crackhead’, alcoholic, mentally disturbed, etc;) He never can find anyone decent. And when the rare occasions that he do, he has his way with them and later, toss them aside. He doesn’t want them anymore. He admitted when it comes to women, he don’t know what he wants. (He’s been living alone for the past 15 years.)
I told him, “If you don’t get it together, you gonna die a bachelor. (Hope he’s listening) But I doubt it!
So thanks again, for commenting Dustin. Let me know how it goes with your buddy. I just spoke to my friend as I type this. Let me know if I can help you with anything else,
Hi Marcus, thank you for stopping by and reading my article. Thank you for the compliment. Glad you liked it. The world of dating can be a crazy and wild roller coaster ride. Some folks get out there on the dating scene and don’t know what the hell they’re looking for.
Congrats to you on your recent marriage. I myself, was buck wild and out of control before I got married (even though I felt at the time I wasn’t ready, but did it anyway). That was 37 years ago. We stayed married that long, but unfortunately she died two years ago. Now I’m flung back out into the dating world and the very first girl I met was a nut case. (Boy! I hope their all not like that).
Ain’t it something Marcus, how some women will just open up and talk about anything and everything? These I don’t mind associating with, as long as they have their head on straight. On day Marcus, I myself will be married one day like you, as soon as the right one comes along. Continue to have those fun ‘date nights’ with your wife. You’re a very lucky man!
Thanks again for checking in Marcus. Let me know if I can help you with anything else.
Do you have any advice when it comes to thinking your soulmate that you have been with for so long doesn’t feel like your soulmate anymore? I have tried on several occasions to reconnect the lost spark, but it seems like all of my efforts mean nothing. I have done everything from spicing it up in the bedroom, to spending extra time with him when he is off. I am trying everything in my power to reignite that spark we once had and nothing seems to be working. I am desperate at this point and could use any constructive criticism.
Hi Kelsey. Thank you for checking in and commenting. When it comes down to giving out down-to-earth advice, you came to the right place. I’ve helped many before, so I’m sure I can help you regarding your issue. Right off the bat, ‘the fire’ has gone from your relationship. This usually starts happening after couples been together for many years.
But before I go any further Kelsey, Is that your REAL photo in your post or just a ‘photo shopped image?’ If it is your photo, then your husband (or long-time live in boyfriend; you didn’t say) must be out of his mind to screw up on a pretty girl such as you. (Usually, guys don’t appreciate what they have until it’s gone). I was also curious to how old you both were.
I don’t know the number of years you and your ‘soulmate’ have been together, but usually long time relationships start falling apart once ‘the flame’ starts to die out due to infidelity. Do you notice any change in his normal daily activity? Coming home a little later? I bet when you call his cell phone, he doesn’t answer. And when you do mention this to him, he’ll claim it’s hard to talk at work or didn’t know his cell phone was off.
When I take everything into consideration, it’s sounds like he has the ‘roving eye’ for someone else. But never fear Kelsey, I’ll help you turn this all around. Lets work on you! They say ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.’ (This is mostly true; especially if the man likes to eat & you like to cook) Are you a good cook, Kelsey?
What’s his favorite meal? Have it ready when he comes home. Prepare his meal while wearing something sexy under a nice silk robe. Fix yourself up! Hair, makeup and here’s the biggest secret weapon, spray on some True Pheromones. Guaranteed to get your man’s attention. Kelsey, when you’re wearing Truepheromones around him, you become irresistible! Just follow my instructions and he’ll be back in your arms in no time. Please keep in touch and let me know how your ‘secret weapon’ turn out. Please get this product Kelsey! It has helped many others, so I know it will help you too.
Such a great post. I have been married for 20 years, but still found this relatable somewhere in my memories of youth.
Some tips made me laugh out loud due to their raw truth.
You have an excellent writing style and your blog is beautifully laid out.
I am sure this website will help many.
Hi Tracy. How are you? Thank you for stopping by and commenting. My very happy you liked my post. I appreciate the praise. Yes, this can help the married and unmarried. Those who are single and hoping to find true love, usually are seeking love in all the wrong places. Some conquer success, but many don’t.
It always appear to me when the person who’s seeking finally do find what they think is ‘the love of their life,’ it sometimes turn out to be the ‘nightmare of the century,’ (then the regrets start slowly pouring in). We always hope for the best, but it seems things never work out the way we want.
In your case, let me be the first to give congrats on your 20 years. (hey Tracy, ya’ll must be doing something right)! I made it to 37 years, but my wife died in 2015 from a serious illness.
As you stated Tracy, when you think back on those young dating years, you can point out things in my article and say, “Wow! I remember hearing that.” Or whatever they case may be. I try telling it like it is. Simple, plain and raw!
I want to thank you again Tracy for commenting. If you haven’t already, please go back in and share this with others using the social media buttons. Like you said, it will help many others.
“Do Not drive too fast and act like you do it all the time.” I’m guilty of this one … hangs head low…
Lol. Anyway, I tend to be a bit heavy footed in general, but it’s been something I’ve heard. Otherwise, I like the suggestions in this post.
I’d have to say, that my girlfriend breaks a couple of these “rules” that you set. Personally, where I find that I need to work on is setting boundaries. Generally, everything else is fine, but I believe setting boundaries are important because it also says that you are a person who respects themselves, as well as the other person.
Do you have any suggestion when it comes to setting boundaries in a relationship?
Thanks
Hi Ade, thank you for dropping by and commenting. I see my rules were an ‘eye opener’ for you….and I guess for any other person who’d wants to read my article. (I have a confession, back in the day, I committed a couple of these myself). Doing my younger dating years, I saw myself committing the ‘driving thing’. So I guess Ade, we’ll hang our heads together. LOL.
Aint it something Ade that being heavy footed can create these driving problems. We’ll have to join the ‘heavy foot’ club! Many crazy drivers out on the road today are guilty of this. But as far as the other things listed on the list goes, many have been broken over the years.
You would also have to understand, that woman are not off the hook. They are guilty off many things as well. They have their own crazy way of saying and doing things we men can’t understand (no matter how hard we try). But I guess when it comes to ‘rules’ in general, they are meant to be broken!
Yes, I agree with you when you stated boundaries should be set. Or just a certain set of rules in general, that both men and women should respect. But as I said earlier, rules are mad to be broken.
As far as to answer your question, respect and honesty goes a long way in any relationship and these boundaries shouldn’t be crossed. But click on this link to read my other related article in regards to rules and boundaries.Thanks again, my friend, for checking in. Let me know if I can do anything else for you.
These are really great tips!
I’m already out of this “market”, but could definitely relate. Also, you made me laugh with the “Do Not ask her where her hot roommate is.” if a guy would ask me such thing on a date, this date would be so completely over at this point.
Hi Anna. thanks for checking in with. Really appreciate you commenting. Yes, those tips were created to help those in a relationship go down a path that’ll make sense for both parties. You don’t wanna start acting and talking all crazy, then wonder way you never hear from that person any more.
Both men and women are clearly capable of screwing up and that’s why constant blame goes back and forth. Sometimes things get so out of hand, couples really don’t realize how silly these verbal disagreements can be. Men can act arrogant or just plain silly while dating, then wonder why the woman acts differently towards them.
Same with a woman, she may carry herself in a wild and unacceptable way, that a guy soon gets turned off. But he won’t leave the scene right away. He’ll stick around until he gets one thing….then he’s gone.
Then again, he may be that guy who questions where’s the ‘hot room mate’. Hey, until he gets a chance to lay up with her; he ain’t going no where!
Thanks Annie for stopping by. Let me know if I can help you with anything else.
I read your article and you do offer a lot of information and tips about dating, but I have to be honest, who can remember all these dos and don’ts . In the end you are what you are and the best thing is to be yourself and try to be some fake specialist in impressing women. usually women have very good instincts and can tell when a man is shallow or has some substance.
You did a lot of work to write this and it is thorough
Thanks
Eli
Hi Eli. Thank you for commenting and voicing your opinion. I try to be as detailed oriented as I can when I write, so all will know where I’m coming from. In regards to these tips, I offer these just as a guide to the reader. Nothing is ‘cast in stone’ and all rules are made to be broken, but if we don’t have a little something to go by when it comes to relationships. we’ll all be running around not knowing which is the correct way to conduct ourselves.
I agree with you that the proper way to behave is just that…what you personally think is proper. To each its own! There are many ‘fake folks’ out here, and they expect their personality to fool folks into thinking they are the ‘real thing.’ Yes, most women can see through a phony dude, but the amazing thing I find is that some women don’t care. (I think these are the insecure ones that can’t find anyone else and just goes along for the ride.)
I laughed hysterically reading your list of what men should not do on a date. Do men really say those things? I know that some men just don’t know and probably do, but I cannot read that list without wondering how they don’t know not to say or do those things. Thank you so much for giving me a laugh along with a lot of valuable dating advice.
Hi Theresa. Glad you enjoyed my post and its tips on dating and relationships. Most people have the same reaction you do when it comes down to these tips. To answer your question, yes-us guys can say some stupid stuff at the wrong time.
We think maybe in our minds, it’s ok to act or do things in a certain way and it’s all good. But to the ladies, they look at us thinking we can present ourselves in a more decent and respectable way.
I’m guess this would be a big task for most, but easy for others. Thanks for checking in with me.
Your suggestions are going to hit home for many, I think one of them is the natural tendency for a guy/girl to want to show off on their first dates.
Ordering the most expensive bottle of wine, is one of these that I am sure waitresses and waiters see all too often (and people spending far outside of the budget). If that is the shallow beginnings to the relationship, I don’t imagine it would last long.
Some great dating tips and insights here, some things that I would have never thought of (for both male and female).
Hi Kyle. Thank’s for checking in. Yes, sometime the dating world can be a roller coaster of many mixed emotions with folks creating their own rules on how things will go. People going broke trying to ‘show off’ isn’t a good thing (Dipping into the rent money just for a good time is ‘not cool.’)
Also, anytime someone in a relationship becomes to demanding or controlling, regardless if male or female, then you should: ‘Exit – Stage Right.’
Thanks, these is such useful tips for dating. I agree so much about not receiving call (except emergency) or playing with your phone when you’re on a date, especially if it’s the first date. Once, I dated a person who use most of their time to chat or check their smartphone while I’m talking to them. It’s really annoying, but at least I’m now aware, it’s not a good thing to do on a first date.
Yes my friend. I totally agree with you regarding the rudeness of some ladies, wanting to chat on their cells while u trying to get your ‘mac on.’ That’s not cool. Yeah, a first date disaster.
I couldn’t agree with you more on the rose part, I used to buy my girlfriend a huge bouquet of it back when we first started dating and I did notice that she has to carry that all the way which made me feel bad. After that, I time my gifts properly like so that she can always put it back in the car or when she’s at home or office so that it’s convenient for her.
Hey Riaz, I think as men, we all make that mistake, without thinking. Carrying those flowers around is a big inconvenience for the woman. (They never complain. Just the gesture of us being thoughtful and nice is sufficient enough)
This is something that everyone who is in love or will fall in love should strongly read. They should greatly understand just how this works because with time we should be able to understand that there are some good things that we should do of we are to truly be in a relationship.
When the ‘love bug’ hits, it just leaves some ‘folks really goofy,’ and not ‘knowing which way is up!’ You’re right; that hopefully my article will give these men and women some type of guidance down ‘the road to happiness.’
Wow. This was really a master piece. I can fully attest that my girl hates a lot of the don’ts stated here. I will definitely put these into practice in my relationship and I know it will get better, I recommend this article for anyone in a relationship or aspiring to be in a relationship to keep a long lasting relationship
Hey my friend. If you plan on using this tips and putting them into practice, print them out and tape onto your fridge door. But be careful not to piss off your girlfriend, or you’ll end up in her doghouse. Stay on her good side and out of her doghouse!
Hello there! Thank you very much for this wonderful piece of information. Highly informative and quite detailed. I enjoyed reading through every bit of this. Your tips are very helpful, Dating has a lot of ups and down, these tips. One thing i really hate is when Ladies look at their watches or fix eye on their phones
I agree Josh. Staring at the phone while out on a date is very rude. It’ll make be feel that she’s ‘bored as hell,’ and can’t wait for the date to end. I guess she rather be some place else. But I guess it could be worse; she can be checking her watch while you’re having sex! LOL.
Dating nowadays can’t be in any way compared to what we had in the 90s, this is because of the orientation we had then and what makes the difference is the advances in generations, a lot if things affects the now generation and these influences their relationship, but with information like this, it’ll be more interesting and pleasing to date with a matured minds, thanks for sharing
I agree that things change regarding dating, from generation to generation. I personally think these young folks, now-a-days has gotten more ‘crazier.’ LOL. Back in the day, it seems like folks would love each for just ‘pure true love.’ Today, it’s about “what can you do for me?”, and “how much in your bank account?”
Honesty is always the best policy. Having secrets is not being honest. I believe for a relationship to last you need to be as transparent as possible.
With that being said, when you’re starting a relationship you may not want to be as transparent as you can be in a longer term relationship. As you said, don’t talk about having kids on your first date. Or the second. But don’t keep this type of thing to yourself for too long!!
Yeah, Lindsay, you want to be as open and honest as possible, but without blowing it! People now-a-days are quick to judge. You want to get to know the person, but slowly want to build the relationship without exposing too much, too quickly.
Thank you for this wonderful information. One thing I love about your post is that you lead down everything separately from women to men. This alone is a counseling section for someone who needs a long-lasting relationship because it is easy to read through. I learned a lot
Thank you !!!
Thank you my friend for checking in. I’m glad you liked my post. My main goal is to help couples to see that ‘all is not lost’ in their relationship, and there’s ‘light at the end of the tunnel.’
Thanks for this humorous article, chunked full of truth! 🙂 I particularly like the one about the rose – I might have made that mistake some years ago. It is something we don’t often think about, but it doesn’t always give way to convenience and that care can often be shown in a more personalized manner. I’ll bookmark this for when my boys get a bit older… 🙂
Hey my friend, I think we as men, we’ve all ‘blew it’ with #2. We are just being nice with our lady friend regarding a rose, not thinking of them carrying that thing around with them all night. (There are a few others we ‘goofed up’ on). Oh well, we live and learn!
I am sure that many people both men and women will benefit from your article following your dating advice. It’s good when you share your experience and knowledge with a pure goal to help other people find their happiness and peace. Especially today, when relationships took a whole new level. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Sunny for checking in. Too achieve pure happiness regarding relationships, folks need some type of guidance in their life. Someone to offer tips that will help them. This is what I try to accomplish.