Latest Update: November 14, 2024

By Ronald Kennedy

 

Some Dudes Just Go Overboard!

Most men love sports! Some dream about going one-on-one with Michael Jordan (back in the day) or Lebron James now. Many get carried away and let sports consume their lives.

Even out on a date, they can’t get enough talking about their favorite teams. No matter if it’s tennis, football, basketball, etc; he’ll talk you ear off. Talking sports, he figure love conquers all. Woman love the athletic type!

You may get bored as hell, (unless you’re a sports fanatic and can talk sports non-stop). You want to exit as soon as possible!

That’s why a type like this can’t seem to hold a normal decent woman. A night out would be playing ‘Air Hockey’ until mid-night.

Are You A Super jock? This dude’s Profile of A Sports Nut is one-of-a-kind.

Here’s is a character profile of ‘The Sports Nut’ and what this guy is all about:

Hoover your camera phone over QR code to open browser. Read Free sample preview…

THE SPORTS NUT

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 19 to 39, Height: 5′ 10″, Weight: Competitive.

OCCUPATION – He’ll most likely be a little league softball or football coach, a water boy on the Special Olympic team, or the VP of operation team management, who’s always trying to figure out how to ‘beat the system.’

FAVORITE FOODS – You better be equip with a ‘cast iron stomach’ and a ‘athletic mind.’ He can’t wait to see your reactions as you wolf down a Super-sized wolf burger and muscle fries. (That order come with a side order of ‘lizard soup’). Enjoy!

FAVORITE DRINKS – When you’re over, he’ll pull out his blender and mix up his special blend of health minerals, goat eggs and chopped turkey skin.

Constantly digesting his mixture of special ingredients, it will have you in the bathroom shittin’ every 30 minutes; but at the same time, increasing your interest in the latest literature offered as you rest.
FAVORITE MUSIC – Top of his playlist: “We Are The Champions” – Queen

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – He flashes a Big Smile while viewing women’s championship volleyball tournaments on TV.

Those big breasted players are a sight to behold; (bouncing and jiggling after every serve.)

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – He loves all sports, but can’t play any that well. (In college, he tried football and broke his leg in three places. OUCH!!)

TYPE OF CAR – Any old Ford or utility pickup truck (Running or not.) He’ll sell the parts and buy some sports memorabilia.

 LAST BOOK- “How To Relieve Jock Itch Through Acupuncture” by Dr. Kcratch Thimbals from the Netherlands.

TURN-ON’S – Seeing someone score a ‘buzzard beating’ game-winning shot, dating an underage cheerleader, and being a judge at the World Famous Teenage Beauty Pageant.

TURN-OFF’S – Women that hates sports, don’t watch them and carry No interest in them what-so-ever.

SECRET FANTASY – To have hot, passionate, all-night sex with a 6’6″ player on the women’s WNBA basketball team.

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Scorpio

PERSONALITY – Average looking with a fairly decent build, his physique and skills are distinguished among men.

In high school and college, he’s the jock that didn’t make the ‘big time.’ Missing the roar and exultation of the crowds, he’s a jock of all sports and a master of none.

With tear-soaked eyes, he sits around reminiscing about the ‘good old’ locker room days. All his spare bucks goes out on sporting equipment and Pro video games, so don’t expect too many romantic nights together.

IDEAL WOMAN – He like them sporty, healthy and into sexual healing.

WHERE TO MEET – You run into characters of this type at any sporting event, at the local health club and at the karaoke bar.

GOAL – To save up enough money for season’s tickets & airfare…ANYWHERE!!

RATING – 6.1….His hygienics’s are down hill all the way with sanitary measures not an issue. He will vow his love for you (If you promise to keep his gym shorts ironed & pressed, along with his old college jersey.)

If you select this type, be prepared for a life of natural high-fiber dinners, athletes foot and daily intakes of every ‘high-powered vitamin known to man.’ 

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Meet the author & creator

Ronald Kennedy

Latest Update: November 15, 2024

 

Ladies, remember! Nerds Need Loving Too.

So ladies Don’t Be So Cruel. These type of dudes are always searching, scoping out the most beautiful women; only to get their feelings hurt in the long-run. But it would be wrong for me to say they all ‘strike out.’ 

But they NEVER give up! They will keep on pushing forward until they get the crap beat out of them by some chick’s jealous boyfriend!

So here we go again! Let’s take a look at the world of a typical nerd.

Hoover your cell phone camera over the QR code to open browser…

 

‘ NERDY NELSON ‘

 

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 19 to 39, Height: 5’5″ to 6’2″, Weight: Not Much!!

OCCUPATION – You may find this type working at the local movie theater selling popcorn. He may even be your bag boy at the neighborhood supermarket that’s always held a crush on you. (You know the kid that’s always drooling on your items). Then he falls all over himself as he offers to take your things to the car!

FAVORITE FOODS – With him, prepare your taste buds to handle a large helping of junior pepper dogs on half-moldy buns.

Oh yeah, and you better get use to his special home-made dish, the ever-popular ‘Banana Chocolate Chip Goulash.’

(While in the kitchen preparing this slop, don’t be surprised if he yells out, “Hey, lollipop lips! I know your dying to try my tasty roasted, honey-dipped frog legs?”)

FAVORITE DRINKS – Warm Kool-Aid (no sugar), dill-pickle juice and strawberry buttermilk shakes, sprinkled with discarded moth wings, will be on the ‘liquor list’ for the evening.

FAVORITE MUSIC – He will sway you with the ‘The Beat Goes On‘ & ‘Red Robin’. (Oldie tunes out before his time.)

He’ll also have you listen to endless hours of the ‘Star Trek’ theme song, and ‘Barney Fife’s Greatest Hits.’

And don’t be surprised, if he tries to serenade you. He claims he can be the greatest broad way singer of all.

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – You’ll spend a great evening, settling back and viewing ‘The Simpsons’ reruns. Also you’ll enjoy the movie ‘Revenge of the Nerd’ pts. 1, 2, & 3 and ‘The Adventures of Pee Wee Herman.’ (So sit back & enjoy.)

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – During a nice quiet evening while you’re over visiting, he’ll have you helping him organize his stamp collection.

If fortunate enough to get invited to a party (Anybody’s party), you’ll assist him in exciting, non-stop action such as the ‘bobbing-for-apples’ event.

TYPE OF CAR – NONE!! A ‘night on the town’ means bar hopping to different pubs or beer joints by bus, train or sore feet!

LAST BOOK- ‘Learn How To Pick Up Girls   by Smooth Talkers, Inc.

TURN-ONS – His glasses fog up and he break out with a big grin at the sight of nude statues, porn magazines and used, ‘slimy’ condoms.

TURN-OFFS – 6 ft. 280 lb. weight lifters who pick on nerds, street gang members hanging out in the vestibule of his apartment, and women wrestlers.

SECRET FANTASY – To one day, be able to get a good blow job before turning 40.

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Libra

PERSONALITY – As a member of the Mr. Rodgers fan club, he’s a real ‘slacker’ who’ll never accomplish much in life. His friends voted him ‘Chump of the Month,’ and he has more enemies than you can count.

His dry wit and bumbling demeanor makes him a ‘true’ nerd.

IDEAL WOMAN – A nerdette who looks like Woody Allen’s sister.

WHERE TO MEET – These nerdy-types are usually found spending their time, hanging around bus terminals trying to pick up women.

You’ll also find them in the men clothing section where bow ties are sold. Then later in the library.

GOAL – To find a job paying a little over minimum wage and one day, qualify for a Visa card.

RATING: 1.2….He’s no Casanova. He masters dull talk, slow action and can’t get a ‘boner!’ You being a strong woman, he’ll never find out what interest you. (Frankly, he won’t give a shit)! 

But maybe it’s all for the better! Besides, who wants a serious relationship with someone enjoying and spending most of their time playing in used kitty litter!

Meet the author & creator. Click on image to read author’s profile…

Ronald Kennedy

____________________________________

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So what do you think? Did you enjoy this article? If you found the information in this post interesting & useful, please share it with your friends and colleagues on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest & Reddit

 

Last Updated: November 14, 2024

“Do You Want A Love, Crazy Experience From An ‘Over The Hill’ Old Buzzard?”

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She maybe ‘long in the tooth,’ but still know how to get around and what she wants. It’s no surprise to me that most folks know someone like this; a neighbor, close friend, the janitor’s wife; etc, (How could someone like this ever be forgotten)?

Regardless if it’s a cafeteria worker at your old high school, a waitress at the old coffee shop that you and your friends used to frequent in college, or an old next-door neighbor that always had the hots for you, this type of woman will appear somewhere in your life.

‘Loves Her Cigarettes…’

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To all the guys out there (of course this could be addressed to the ladies as well) when it comes down to loving someone like Dirty ol’ Doris, then my friend, you’ve hit the bottom of the barrel.

Also, you better get use to inhaling a lot of choking, cigarette smoke when in her presence and the smell on your clothes. Don’t complain! That’s BS to Doris! She’ll tell you in a minute to “kiss her ass.” (You better get used to her smelly clothes).

If you don’t mind the age difference and a woman who loves lots of sex (she’s 88) then this old bird might just be for you.

She’s a heavy smoker, so you better get use to it, or start smoking with her (that’s probably why she was born under the sign of cancer).

Just remember Not to smoke more than her! She’s a ‘three packer a day’ and will get ‘pissed’ if you try out doing her. (At least, she don’t smoke weed… she just ‘sell it.’) Ol’ Doris always wants to be the best at everything!

She was this way even at a young age. Growing up, when games were played among her friends, she would ‘kick their asses’ if she thought they were cheating.  And that toughness carried on throughout the years!

‘She May Fart Dust, But…’

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“Hey! Don’t let her age fool you my friend.“ Ol’ Doris can still ‘throw down,’ even much better than others half her age.

Doris is an ‘Energizer Battery’ when it comes to sex! She can roll until the sun comes up!

Afterwards she’ll lay back, and have herself 7 or 8 smokes. Then It’s off to the races again. (So you better be ready)!

She’ll ‘screw your brains out’ and later suggest you take Viagra if you wanna go for several more rounds.  It pisses Doris off knowing you can’t keep your ‘Love Muscle’ “standing at attention” very long. This old broad hates a ‘limp penis.‘

If you think you’re man enough, big & bad enough, lets see how you handle this. Get ready now to meet the hottest (at least in her mind), most active old buzzard on planet earth; that really knows how to live life & make serious love.

Hover your camera phone over QR code & open browser. Read Free sample preview…

 

  Dirty Ol’ Doris

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 88 and going up fast, Height: 5’2″ to 5’5″, Weight: Flirtatious.

OCCUPATION – This type will most likely be employed as a office manager of some broken down junk yard. You may also find this type running one of the largest distributors of pornographic materials and adult sex toys in the US, Canada, and the UK (but not necessarily in that order)!

FAVORITE FOODS – Once she puts her teeth in, she’s ready for chow. Dining out will consist of old cabbage plants with Caesar dressing. A side dish of Muskrat stew and boiled owl heads. For desert, she’ll have a slice of baboon pie topped with wild cherries.

FAVORITE DRINKS – Most mornings, especially after a long night of hot sex, she’ll gulp down two large glasses of prune juice to help with bowel movement.

The night life will consist of a fifth of Jack & coke, wine coolers and bloody Mary. Some Old Granddad bourbon would also be nice as well.

FAVORITE MUSIC – Ol’ Doris favorite sounds are the ringing of sales from her inner-city pornographic business (She says, “It’s a horny and freaky world out there and I’m looking to cash in”).

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – The ‘Golden Girls’ are on top of her list.

Also, it really fires her up when watching any amazing You tube xxx Adult videos such as; “Debbie Does Dallas,” “Naughty Girls from Central High,” “Don’t Do Me Wrong…Just Do Me.” & “Old Broads From The Home Giving Gum jobs”

(It’s ‘double duty’ night. A round of blowjobs while soaking their teeth at the same time).

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – She wants to be a referee or judge at any event which includes young studs flexing their muscles. (She claims she’s the best at rubbing body oil.)

However, during football season, she’ll make bets with a couple of her old, wild girlfriends over which team pat the others fanny the most.

TYPE OF CAR – NONE! (Hell, she’s damn near 90, what do you expect?)

LAST BOOK – ‘Doggie Style 101’  by the ‘Back-Door Slammers’ from the over ’70’ Club.

TURN ONS – Young men’s sweaty muscles glistening on the beach, winning a big state lottery to impress young studs and hanging around men’s shower stalls after a game.

TURN OFFS – Old dudes trying to act young, middle-age dudes always complaining about their aches and pains, annoying people who keep reminding her of her age, and all the dudes trying to wear condoms they know are way too big.

SECRET FANTASY – To be voted “the hottest senior citizen of the 21st Century.”

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Cancer

 

PERSONALITY – This old bag knows what she wants in life and goes after it (especially ANY well-built, well-hung young stud will do)! Her demeanor toward the opposite sex sometime makes you wonder; if she really cares what’s thought of her. But really she don’t give a shit!

She thinks that being in the company of much younger men, make other women think they’re not popular enough. She also doesn’t realize that some of these men she know, only socialize with her because she’s lonely and have money.

These men also know that they could get anything their hearts desire by just telling her how sexy her old ass is.

IDEAL MAN – The wild, young liberal type. One who understands her needs and love trying out new positions.

WHERE TO MEET – You could run into sluts like this hanging around any convention in town promoting their large display of sex toys.

GOAL – To invite all hot, horny studs across America for an all-night sex orgy.

RATING: 3.9…If money and a sense of security is something you feel is important, then maybe this fun-loving ol’ bag is not for you. But keep the age difference in focus.

Your buddies might think you’ve cracked up when they spot you and her together. They’ll swear you’re out with your grandma! But all you’re trying to do with Doris is staying on her good side and out of her doghouse!

‘Meet The Author &  Creator’

 

Ronald Kennedy

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So what do you think? Did you enjoy this crazy article on Dirty Ol’ Doris? Let me know through your comments.

A spoiled man will be a ‘pain in the butt.’

 

By Ronald Kennedy

Latest Update: October 11, 2024

Loving this type would take a lot of work.

I put this character’s profile at the top of my comedy ‘hit’ list. I gave myself a good laugh while creating this one.

Although, all my characters profile’s give me a good feeling, this one represents many whiners living in our society today.

You do have to admit, in real life, they’re are just as many of this type walking around today, then there are in hiding.

For the life of me, I could never figure out how women could waste their valuable time with babied losers like this. If their woman won’t give them their way, they argue until she gives in.

Don’t confuse ‘being demanding’ with ‘acting spoiled’….they’re one in the same!

Those dudes out there who’s still attached to moms apron strings, harbor underlining conditions that need serious mental evaluation.

The spoiled type looking for love, affection and pampering carries himself like a little ‘sick puppy!’ He’s looking for the same affection mom gave him when she help tuck him in at night, with his milk and cookies (He still remember those orioles).

Ladies, beware! Before you get too deeply involved, study their behavior, the crazy things they say, along with childish ways.

So when seeking a dating partner and you have concerns, study the profile below. It will give you a ‘heads up’ on what you could possibly end up with.

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‘Mama’s Boy’

VITAL STATISTICS – Age: 24 to 49, Height: 5’7″ to 6’4″, Weight: Excess Baby Fat

OCCUPATION – You may find this type working in a toy discount warehouse facility.

Or maybe you’ll run across this type sweeping hair at the neighborhood barber shop, working part-time at a nursery or helping his parents out in the family owned hardware store.

FAVORITE FOODS – Dining with him will consist of a plate of warm baby cabbages, macaroni & cheese, and a Milky Way bar.

For lunch, you’ll share some stale peanut brittle, two peppermint candy canes and a huge bowl of cold alphabet soup.

Dinner will be a Happy Meal from McDonalds, loaded with chicken nuggets and a chocolate chip cookie.

FAVORITE DRINKS – Wanna stay in and have drinks with this thumb sucking mama’s boy?

If so, then be prepared to spend a cozy, romantic evening in front of the fireplace sipping Nestle Chocolate NesQuik.

Also, he’ll talk you into downing a couple of swigs of prune juice. According to his crazy philosophy, this will loosen your bowels thoroughly and help ease any anxiety progression towards a decent sexual performance.

But before any ‘hot action’ can take place between the sheets, he first must call mom to get tips on the best positions!

FAVORITE MUSIC – ‘The Flintstones’ opening theme song will be high on his Top 10 chart. Also, you’ll be dancing to the beat from the ‘Three Stooges’ jingle and ‘The Simpsons’. (hey, those guys are his idols).

FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS – This childish joker will expect you to accompany him in viewing old video taped reruns of ‘Bozo’s Circus,’ and ‘the Disney Classics.’ Your fun-filled evening will also include MTV, and ‘Tom & Jerry’ cartoons.

FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES – His hobby activities will include sand castle building, competitive dog & cat grooming and spit-shining old rusty wagon wheels.

As far as the physical fitness portion is concerned, his legs receive plenty of exercise from jumping up and down when he doesn’t get his way.

TYPE OF CAR – He’ll really think he’s impressing you when he picks you up in a pint-size Yugo or ‘clown car,’ which will display his newly customized Donald and Daffy Duck interior.

He’ll glow with pride when he tells you that it took every cent from his piggy bank to get the car detailing done.

LAST BOOK- ‘Bedwetting Made Easy’  by Dr. Phil A. Bladder

TURN-ON’S – Tootsie Roll Pops with the bubble gum center, a well-oiled skateboard and a woman who enjoys 24-hour cartoon marathons.

TURN-OFF’S – Bossy women who are into competitive sports, a toy store going out of business, feminist groups and a chick that has a hand shake stronger than his.

SECRET FANTASY – To hold firm in his possession the largest collection of Harry Potter Magic and Mystery novels.

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN – Gemini

PERSONALITY – Still probably still camping out at home, this immature clown is half way through a mind alteration process.

Having strong family ties, he’s very sensitive to the suggestions and wishes of mom.

He’ll always compare you and your cooking to dear ol’ mom.

IDEAL WOMAN – To be a mirror image of mom.

WHERE TO MEET – You can find this type usually at any Toys-R-Us, his mama’s favorite neighborhood supermarket, the corner candy store or the video arcade.

GOAL – To one day, meet and marry a woman just like good ol’ mom.

RATING – 2.4….. You probably think to yourself, you wish you had a way to study a character’s profile of this type before you started dating. Your relationship with this man could go either way.

But the long-term lecture from him constantly comparing you to his mother, could be bad for your mental health. A very stressful thing!

Unfortunately, If you have a mental collapse, this could possibly lead to drastic actions. Do you have any idea which actions I’m referring to?

Those actions that you know will eventually come; such as You going to the penitentiary and him?… to the graveyard!

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Hey! Get Your Laugh On!!

This is some crazy, funny stuff! Check out my new humor book entitled, “What Is Love Guide For The Sexes?” It entails profile descriptions of men & women wanting to be romanced. Just click on the image. Read sample…

So what do you think? Did you enjoy this article? If you found the information in this post interesting & useful, please share it with your friends and colleagues on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest & Reddit